3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): This Is Not a Test

2025, Adam MacDonald (Pyewacket) -- download

This is a Canadian teen zombie movie, set in the 90s, based on a novel of the same name. It uses the zombie apocalypse as a platform to explore familial abuse, depression, desperation and suicide, i.e. familiar dark teen shit, which I state with no desire to diminish their impact on young lives.

Sloane (Olivia Holt, Cloak & Dagger) is about to commit suicide, reading back her own note where she states she cannot do it all on her own, when her father yells for her to get down there for breakfast. The interruption is what she needs but she comes down to immediate verbal abuse. That is interrupted by a screaming woman banging on their door, begging for help. Dad investigates, and immediately yells at Sloane that they have to leave, NOW. A confused Sloane looks out the door to see the suburban neighborhood in zombie chaos, bloody figures chasing down others. One comes through their front window, her father fights it off but is bitten. Chase flees into the street running and running.

Sloane crosses paths with some classmates, and the mother of two, and they all try hiding in a house but eventually agree they have to find a more secure place to go -- their school. The escape, through backyards & streets filled with idling zombies (when they have no one to attack, they just amble about) but eventually make it to the school, but not before losing Mrs. Chase (Krista Bridges, 19-2). Barricading all the doors, the students rally in the gym: Sloane, Cary the jock (Corteon Moore, From), Trace (Carson MacCormac, Locke & Key) & Grace Casper (Chloe Avakian, Locke & Key), and Rhys (Froy Gutierrez, Cruel Summer). 

At its core, this is a Bottle Episode, in that the primary parts of the story are all told within the school with the limited cast. Part of my hindsight brain is saying, "It could have been better, the interpersonal conflicts between the characters never really rose above middling," but as I was watching, I was thinking, this is teen drama. And no, not from a disparaging stand on "teen dramas" but more the idea that these are just kids. They are scared, they don't know what to do, and emotions rule everything at that age. And nobody trusts anyone. They respond as irrationally and chaotically as I would expect them to. 

Also at its core, there is the exploration of Sloane's desperation. If she wanted to die, why is she trying so hard to survive? Its a simplistic question but its what the story wants to explore. We can easily see, "see really didn't want to die, she just wanted out" but it takes this horrible situation for Sloane to figure it out. She saw her anchor as her sister, and without her, she was lost. In the end, all she has is herself, and she decides, it is more than enough to warrant life.

From a film making point of view, this goes into the "hard working creator" bucket. As the core mythology of film making wanes and evolves into something (even) less pedestal worthy, you can admire people who just want to tell stories, just want to use the structure in their own ways. It seems condescending to say that I admire them for working so hard on the movie, instead of the movie they made (which is, as I am wont to say, OK) but I have so so many examples of "not OK" in this blog, where millions of dollars and A-celebrities were tossed at the machine and only dross was spit out. This was a solid exploration of a genre I enjoy (that deserves its own exploration) and actually worth my time.

Now I wonder whether the same young folk who, for a number of years, left disparaging comments on this blog for me slagging on "Tomorrow, When the War Began" will emerge for this post, as I imagine the source material has its ardent followers.