3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Gladiator II

2024, Ridley Scott (Napoleon) -- cinema

I don't remember much about the first movie. Its been years, likely decades since I saw the 2000 flick. Sure, it was great then, all spectacle and excitement, but obviously, nothing has compelled me to return to it. I am not a Ridley Scott fan, but nor am I a detractor. He just ... is. That said, I do own Kingdom of Heaven, its on The Shelf, and I semi-regularly watch it. But not Gladiator.

Weird, but I also have anachronistic memories of this movie, as in I feel like I saw it in late-high school, back when everything "swords and...." would have been fodder for my D&D games, and I can viscerally remember applying the cool Maximus face mask to a character.

It also should be said that I went to this movie because in Sault Ste-Marie, ON, everything is pretty much closed on a Tuesday AND the snow storm that started when I arrived on Monday morning had not yet abated, so I trailed along behind Chatzz to see the movie. He is still of that age where he absolutely LOVES movies, seeing them in the cinema, the whole experience. Otherwise, I would probably have waited to pirate this movie.

So, that means I did not catch up before going to see. I recall he died. I recall he had a son. The movies does some brief, in story, recapping for us but mainly the movie is about Rome some 25 years later, the latest conquers, the latest turmoil and how Maximus's son fits into it all.

Its a two and a half hour movie I spent the trailing third twitching painfully in my seat. My personal seat does not like sitting that long, and it takes a LOT of distraction / attention span to ignore the inevitable pain. This movie did not distract nor keep my attention well enough, which should say enough.

So, some 25 years later, Rome is one again in dire straits. The latest loons running the empire are the brothers Geta (Joseph Quinn, Stranger Things) and Caracalla (Fred Henchinger, Kraven: the Hunter), bolstered in power by their favourite general Acacius (Pedro Pascal, The Mandalorian), who starts the movie by taking the last independent city in Africa, the Kingdom of Numidia, where Maximus's son, though you are not supposed to immediately realize this, but really, who wouldn't guess, is hiding out under the name of Hanno (Paul Mescal, Normal People). Acacius's invasion is successful and Hanno witnesses his wife's death and the enslavement of those left alive.

In Rome, the empire, not the city, when they make land in Ostia, Hanno is immediately sold to gladiator ... (googles) ... lanista named Macrinus (Denzel Washington, The Equalizer), after impressing him with his savagery. That brings him to Rome proper where  he gets mixed up in Macrinus's plots & machinations. Meanwhile, Acacius is denied the right to retire from war, and gets up in the plots & machinations of his wife and a group of Senators who wish to depose the Emperors.

Plots & Machinations. Yawn. I watched the first episode of the newish Amazon series called Those About to Die, and I realize that this is what these shows are always about, so I want to see a wee bit more to keep my attention. I also wanted .... more spectacle? I can usually be distracted from my boredom by Big Bombastic Scenes, but .... it all felt just too familiar? I mean, the only thing I was ever impressed by in this movie was Macrinus's sleeves, and in general, Denzel Washington as this character. I was just intrigued by him at every turn, as just when you think you got where he was going, he went one step further and basically did a speed run from running a dusty gladiator ring in the provinces (think of the place where Conan the Barbarian learned to fight) to (SPOILERS !!) taking down two emperors. Maybe if he hadn't moved so fast, he might have survived.

Recently, I came to a realization that I generally don't have much to write about movies that I really enjoy because I have rewired my brain to focus on complaining. Its not just in the media I watch, but also in my life in general. Ask me "how are you?" and if I don't have anything to complain about, I don't have much to say in general. But get me started and.... And yet, I don't have much to complain about this movie, I just ... don't have much to say.