3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Medieval

2022,  Petr Jákl (Ghoul) -- Netflix

There are two kind of fantasy movies that attract a D&D player. There are the purely fantasy, the Lord of the Rings and ilk, which are purely fantasy: magic, elves, monsters and the like. And then there are the "historical fantasy", as in the swords & violence genre, but usually with a certain amount of historical placement; i.e. set on Earth. Medieval originally called Jan Žižka, as it is meant to be a historical drama relating the tale of legendary Czech mercenary ... cough ... Jan Žižka, is strongly in the latter category.

Duh. So, you are saying, if it has swords a D&D player will like it?

Yeah, but wow, does it fall into the The Shelf level categorization of an aging D&D player. It opens at a battle between said titular mercenary (Ben Foster, Hell or High Water) & his ensemble band against a crew of "knights" acting as assassins against Lord Boresh (Michael Caine, The Last Witch Hunter) as he travels to Prague to bid support for (Good King) Wenceslas (Karel Roden, Hellboy) in his bid to become Holy Roman Emperor. Wenceslas is competing with his half-brother, the notorious King Sigismund (Matthew Goode, Stoker), and needs the support of noble Henry III of Rosenburg (Til Schweiger, Far Cry). Boresh decides to force this assistance by having Žižka kidnap Rosenburg's fiance Katherine (Sophie Lowe, What Lola Wants), who happens to be the secret niece of the Kind of France.

This is all very European Historical Politics, stated in a way which implies we are supposed to know it, and care, yet my eyes glazed over. But Marmy explains enough of it for me, to recognize they barely pay attention to history, but present enough to have Žižka as the Hero. He is the Czech warrior who will stand up for What Is Right as opposed to politics.

Fuck, its violent. "Go Medieval On Their Ass" is the main phrase of the day. Despite being an honourable man, Žižka is a very very violent man. He kills as he needs to kill, to make the coin they need to raise to be successful mercenaries. He has few scruples, and is usually about the coin, that is until a rival mercenary Torak (Roland Møller, Papillon) impales his nephew. From there it is revenge, and a desire to protect Katherine, who is just a pawn in a game of little boys who would be kings, caring not a bit for the peasant folk they are supposed to be protecting. There is a hint of a love story, but it felt more Stockholm Syndrome to me, but Žižka ends up sacrificing everything, including his own men, to get her to safety. And they stab, slash, and crush with a mace many MANY people along the way.

Interestingly enough, Žižka is quite the folk hero in that area of the world and survived every battle he fought or led, and actually died at a respectable old age of 60ish. But no, not of "old age".