31 Days of Halloween: House of Darkness

2022, Neil LaBute (The Wicker Man) -- download

The Wicker Man. Snicker.

We are still behind on watching, by a few days, so we attempted to double-bill it. But, my Old Man State and the Work Stress (ever present) leads me to nodding off near 11ish, so only should we actually watch the first movie early, does this benefit. We did end up watching this one soon after its predecessor, BUT I will sneak it into the night after, so we have this subterfuge of watching something every night.

That's me pulling back the curtains to reveal a dwarf dancing backwards. Tollhouse Brownie points if you get that reference.

Meanwhile, this movie is more fun if you don't catch the spoiler-ific references right up front. Its a simple setup, of a man (probably drunk) driving home a woman he picked up in a bar. Her house is "in the middle of nowhere" (not really, as a later shot from a roof top balcony reveals the city lights just over the hill, likely implying the Hollywood hills), isolated from cell reception and suffering power bumps galore. The gothic edifice is gorgeous, and the man, Hap (Justin Long, Yoga Hosers) immediately reveals himself (i.e. his personality) when he implies there is no way a lone woman, Mina (Kate Bosworth, Superman Returns) could afford a house like this.

Much of the movie is banter, feeling like a stage adaptation, as the two characters, and then eventually two more, feel each other out. Almost immediately, Hap reveals himself not as a hapless (pun intended) man out for a night on the town, who bumped into a women he immediately connects with. He dodges all Mina's direct questions (like, "Are you married?"), texts his bar mate about his latest "conquest", and when her two sisters appear, makes rather gross and overt overtures. He's a man pig, that is without doubt. But Mina and her two sisters, Lucy (Gia Crovatin, Hightown) and Nora (Lucy Walters, Get Shorty)  are not innocents. Nor are they without their own agendas.

In case its not obvious, this movie is a Dracula inspired set piece. The three ladies are vampires, making some references to a father, as Lucy tells her story of being found, broken and dying in the woods at some point in the past, and rescued by a family. They have these old, dark houses all over the country, and likely the world, and have taken to luring less than savoury men into their midst. And they like to play with their food, before dispatching it. One could assume they want to give Hap a possible out, but I doubt it.

In the end, the movie felt more like an experiment, or an indulgence. The dialogue is thick, but inevitably pointless as we get the point very very quickly. The performances are impressive, but not sure what LaBute was hoping for with this presentation.