31 Days of Halloween: The Borderlands

2013, Elliot Goldner (America's Monsters) -- download

Another from the Downloads bin of years past. Another where we ask, "Did we see this already?" As we watch more and more middle-fare horror movies, the plots and tropes blur together, so the back-of-the-box of "priests from the Vatican, in the UK, sent to the west country to investigate supernatural activity at an ancient church" sounds like at least a few things we have seen. And since, for the middle-fare, they fade so quickly, and with my memory these days, we could have seen it.

Nope. All new far, for I would have remembered this one.

For one, it's found-footage, much focused on the technology being used to capture not only the experiences inside the ancient hillside church, but also the day to day activities of the men sent to investigate, including wearing head-cams at all time. Apparently, Brother Deacon (Gordon Kennedy, The Halcyon) has a notorious reputation in his world, due to an unfortunate incident in South America where his team was murdered when they got close to revealing a hoax. So, the Vatican needs to make sure its all on tape, in case something goes awry again. 

Deacon and Gray (Robin Hill, Poldark), the tech guy, begin their investigation before the final member of their team, a grumpy skeptic, but devout, priest Father Amidon (Aidan McArdle, Sense8). He does not like Deacon, nor his constant drinking and less than pious behaviour. He wants to dismiss this whole investigation as soon as possible, but after a few failed initial attempts to find evidence of a hoax, but actually experience some actual eerie behaviour, Deacon becomes obsessed with finding out what is going on. It doesn't help that the priest who invited them, Father Crellick (Luke Neal, Halo: Nightfall), commits suicide, jumping from the top of the church steeple.

Instead of bowing to pressure, Deacon calls in a ringer, an old, revered member of the Vatican exorcism council, Father Calvino (Patrick Godfrey, A Room With a View), for he is now convinced that something dark and otherworldly is involved here. Deacon has uncovered signs of ancient cults, evidence the church was built on hallowed ground from the primeval gods once worshipped in these parts. Calvino is here to drive away any evil that may have been disturbed. Alas, the ritual goes very badly and Father Amidon and Calvino go missing. Desperate to protect his brethren, Deacon pursues them into the depths of tunnels below the church, being drawn ever further down, until...

Most of the movie was jump scares, tension and conflict between the characters, and the villagers. Something is going on, but the village does not trust these Vatican interlopers, even going so far as trying to scare them away, but lighting a local sheep on fire. Once their parish priest dies, the men cannot even get a drink at the pub. I wasn't quite sure where this was all going to lead, expecting a ghost or demonic force, but once the men begin delving deep into the tunnels, I saw something else was going to happen. A hint to the wise; once you have to crawl on your belly to go further, just turn around. Gather help, report your missing friends and GET HELP. Do not go deeper and deeper, until your ears pop and the walls begin taking on the appearance of a digestive tract.

Yeah that. That is what got me. From being sucked up into the digestive tract of a flying extra terrestrial monster, to purposely being lured into the belly of the beast; literally. Pagan gods sleeping beneath ancient hills, primeval creatures worshipped as deities until usurped by Christian gods, are not going to be in a good mood when you disturb their slumber with your mumbo jumbo rituals.