3 Short Paragraphs: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

2021, Johannes Roberts (47 Meters Down) -- download

Movies from video games get a bad rap and most warrant it. They are either bare bones adaptations banking only on the game's name (I am looking at you, Doom) or take such liberties with the franchise, they become their own thing. This adaptation of the popular horror video game series tries to remedy what was already done (subjectively, badly; ala Milla J) by being closer to the core of the game. From what I recall, from my Playstation 1 days of turning on all the lights in the apartment and pulling my toes up off the floor, the game was meant to be fucking creepy and unnerving, but also full of gorey, nasty Japanese style body-horror monsters. This adaptation draws in much more of the feel of the game, and the characters, but really just ends up being an incredibly lackadaisical creature feature. While you can play lots of "oh, that's in the game!" I don't think fans will be satisfied.

So, evil Umbrella Corporation basically owns a town in... the Pacific Northwest? Its the 80s, Claire Redfield and her brother Chris are in the corporate orphanage. Just as she being taken away for experimentation by the Evil Doctor she escapes. Years later, the 90s, she is returning home but unbeknownst, something has escaped from the Umbrella labs, and before Claire can finish her strained reunion with her brother, the town is locked down. Meanwhile Evil Doctor is trying to ferret his own family out of town before his own bosses lock everything down, or do worse. There are overt hints that Umbrella has been using the town as an experiment, which proves true as the people begin converting into zombie-like horror shows. Meanwhile a bunch of named characters from the games played by Canadian staple actors either go investigating scary things happening in an old house, or try to defend the town police station from the growing horde outside. Things go bad for everyone, including Evil Doctor who in turn infects himself with whatever experimental drug he has been working on for decades, converting himself into a monster full of eyes and giant features and eyes. And eyes. Most characters, named or otherwise, die and a few escape before the town is pseudo-nuked. Insert nod to a possible sequel scene.

If the recap is uninspired and boring, its because the movie was. Doing a faithful adaptation of all the beats and aspects of a video game does not make for a  good movie. There are hints in this movie of something decent that could have been created if it wasn't trying to jam in all the "faithful" elements. The individual parts were decently done, mostly, but as a contiguous whole, it was just terrible. Sure, the Paul WS Anderson / Milla J ones were as well, but they were a terrible monster-combat romp with a kitschy sense of style, that I have watched multiple times. Beyond core fans of the original games gleefully pointing out not-easter-eggs (an egg is usually hidden, not overt) from the games, nobody is going to enjoy this more than one tired attempt.