3 Short Paragraphs: Army of Thieves

2021,  Matthias Schweighöfer (You Are Wanted) -- Netflix

Waitasec. The director of Army of Thieves is also the actor who plays the main character, which happened to be my least favourite character in a movie I didn't enjoy much, despite being about zombies and Las Vegas? So, you may ask why I even watched this movie, but the answer is rather easy. Rather than do the usual click-click-click browse through of all the movies we have downloaded or Added To List, we just chose something light, and not likely to interfere with looking down at our phones/laptops while watching the movie. I mean, I do like heist movies, so there was at least a reason. And lo what a surprise, but I ended up really really enjoying the little flick.

Dieter, from Army of the Dead is really just Sebastian Schlencht-Wöhnert, a meek bank employee living a mundane life all the while obsessed with  legendary bank vault maker Hans Wagner. Sebastian raves about how great Wagner was on his YouTube channel with no subscribers, but does end up catching the attention of someone who invites him to what appears to be an underground fightclub safe-cracking club, where he wins the competition with apparent ease. Of course, not a club but an audition to the crime gang run by rich girl gone jewel thief Gwendoline Starr (Nathalie Emmanuel, Game of Thrones). Their goal is to crack all of Wagner's famous vaults, not for the riches within, but for the fame of just doing it. While initially hesitant, Sebastian joins because he cannot miss having a crack (pun intended) at those safes.

Schweighöfer made Schlencht-Wöhnert (whom all the characters comment that he has an unpronounceable last name) an utterly charming, off-beat young man with a very centred moral compass. The movie itself is one that Ryan Reynolds wanted his Europe-based heist flick to be like, set in many exotic locales, tense and exciting but a Hell of a lot more grounded than Red Notice. And Nathalie Emmanuel is leaps & bounds more alluring than Gal Gadot was as The Bishop. Of course, anyone who has seen the zombie movie knows that Ludwig Dieter, the cool name Sebastian adopts as a safe-cracker, ends up chasing down the final Wagner safe in Las Vegas, banking on the reputation he builds in this movie. Part of me hopes they retcon his death for the sequel.