A Toast To HallmarKent: The Princess Switch

2018, Mike Rohl (Miss Christmas) -- Netflix

The Draw: 

Well, for pretty simple reasons. We are starting "this thing" up again and now that there is a third of this series on Netflix, I suppose we should watch the second. But I didn't remember a thing about the first AND I never wrote about it.

And because I said I want to watch as many Hallmarkies as I can, where baking is a trope.

HERstory: 

Stacy (Vanessa Hudgens, Polar) lives in Chicago. After a few establishing shots (not true fly in's but general stock bits), we meet her at her bakery. She and her business partner (is assistant baker really called sous chef?), longtime friend Kevin (Nick Sagar, Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments) [but not love interest!]. Stacy is still bemoaning the guy who got away, and Kevin is raising his daughter alone after HIS wife ran away. They should have gone with tragic death. Or maybe Paul ran away with Kevin's wife. Moar trauma?

Kevin has signed Stacy up for an overseas competition in Barovia Belgravia. This is just weird. You run a small, but decent shop in Chicago, and are just going to abandon the place during the Xmas season to run away for a prestige competition in Nowhere, Europe? Also, is the competition paying or does she just have the cash lying around? Either way, she initially says "no way" but runs into Paul, the Guy Who Got Away, and his new fiance. Bing! Off to Belgravia we go!

Gawds its gorgeous there! All picturesque, wintry village that just LOVES the winter season. I do miss when winter was more than just the week leading up to Xmas. We need more Winter Fairs, hot cocoa, sleigh rides and tobogganing events. The cottage they give Stacy and Kevin to live in while competing! Its massive. No Motel 8 on the side of the highway coming into town for Belgravia!

Stacy is intense, or driven, as Kevin constantly reminds her. She wants to spend the next few days prepping for the competition, which sounds alright with me considering the spontaneity in which she entered the contest (i.e. she didn't choose it), but Kevin and daughter need to check out the village. I can respect that, but why all the pressure on Stacy? Either way, they end up at the studio (Belgravia seems kind of small town quaint, too quaint to have its own massive studio) where Stacy meets her old school rival, soils her apron, and is forced to go into town to get a new one. Yeah, uh huh, like she doesn't have a dozen around, nor are any provided by the competition?

In town she literally bumps into her doppel -- Lady Margaret Delacourt (Vanessa Hudgens, Spring Breakers) -- who is in Belgravia to marry the Prince Edward (*snicker*). Yada yada yada, "Let's switch places!" Being a Duchess marrying a Prince is tiring, and Margaret needs a break. Despite Stacy having a competition to prep for, she agrees after a bit of bribery - Margaret will get Kevin's daughter into a ballet school summer program. And the Prince is supposed to be going on a trip, so Stacy will get some royal treatment and be back in time for the baking.

Bing! 

Prince's trip gets cancelled, and now Stacy ends up entertaining with Edward. Some ludicrous attempts at horse riding (Peanut Gallery, "Your stinky horse glove in my face! How romantic!") followed by a sleigh ride in a mini skirt, a visit to a local homeless shelter (Peanut Gallery, "Family homeless is a big problem in Belgravia?!?!") followed by a visit to the local toy store to buy toys for children at the shelter. And the Xmas Market, a genuinely lovely looking set piece. Stacy is charming but does not do a very good job at playing Fake Duchess -- you would think Prince Eddie would know something about the country he is marrying into.

Meanwhile Marge is having a grand old time with Kevin and daughter. Daughter does catch on pretty quick but likes Margaret's very free and open attitude, which throws Kevin for a bit, but he likes New Stacy, Stacy-lite, Stacy who is not so intense. They are getting along reaaaal well.

Post switch-back, Stacy and Kevin return to the competition, get slightly sabotaged by a rival (Stacy, "How do I puree my berries without a mixer?" Why wouldn't the competition be held accountable for damaged equipment? Peanut Galley, "How do you puree berries WITH a mixer? You just need a fine mesh strainer and a spoon !") but end up winning anyway. I am so disappointed how a movie about a baker in a baking competition focuses so little on the baking. But at the end of the competition, everyone reveals who each is, and Margaret even reveals she is in love with commoner Kevin!

A year later Stacy marries Prince Edward and they live happily ever after. Well, until the sequels !!

The Formulae:

The thing with these movies from Netflix is that they are NOT Hallmark movies, and despite playing in the same playground, they are more... Disney romcoms than they are truly Hallmarkies. So, we forgive them when they don't have as many of the tropes.

But, we do get quite the lovely Xmas Market, but the montage is a bit of a letdown. The movie does begin with the Prince being a bit of a dick; well, technically his driver, but its a common enough trope that the lead is annoyed at the potential love interest. Oh, and we do get quiiiite the reddish dress when Stacy as Margaret attends a ball. Oh, and the fake snow quotient is through the rooooof.

Unformulae: 

Again, these are the Netflix princess movies where they make their own rules. While there might be some aspects of the tropes in play, they don't stick close to em. Such as the Xmas Ball, this is more just a reason for Prince and Fake Duchess to get to know each other in a romantic Princess Romance Story manner, not at all Xmas Event driven. In fact, very little of the movie is the expected formula, and maybe we need another formula purely for royalty in love flicks? There are probably a good number of THOSE. But I won't be watching them UNLESS they be more Hallmarkie.

True Calling?

There is royalty, and there is switching, so yeah pretty much.

The Rewind: 

There aren't really any truly marvelous scenes to rewatch in this movie, neither ironically or genuinely. But Hudgens does look remarkably fetching in that Royal Ball dress. And her mini skirts. But that's just me. Oh! While not really rewindable, if I commented on it being chuckle worthy in the other Hudgens Hallmarkie, again it is prevalent that characters in this movie watch Netflix, and see the OTHER romantic seasonal movies in the listing, INCLUDING A Christmas Prince which takes place in the country of Aldovia, which we learned is not far from Belgravia. So, is the movie on Netflix a dramatic retelling of a true story in their universe? Or do they have a magical Netflix box?

The Regulars: 

Again, not being a Hallmarkie, it is not going to have many of the roster, BUT Hudgens herself has already been in one of the Netflix pseudio-markies: The Knight Before Christmas.

How does it Hallmark? 

To be honest, it's barely trying. And they are really just trying to make their own pseudo Disney style romantic movie with hijinks and royalty envy.

How does it movie? 

Oh gawd no. Not even as a pseudo Disney style movie.

Of note, I have not caught up with writing about these Netflix Princess romance movies. As there are two popular series, apparently set in the same universe, one starring Rose McIver (A Christmas Prince) which we have ended up hate-watching, as  they are terrible in their own special ways, and THIS series. I am surprised Netflix hasn't launched a third, maybe not Xmas season based.

But I should be writing about them for THIS series. Maybe some rewatches? Maybe not.