3 Short Paragraphs: Christopher Robin

2018, Marc Forster (World War Z) -- download

OK, we go from Ewan McGregor wearing a black mask, fancy suits as a bad guy, to Ewan McGregor all grown up & married to Agent Carter. And having abandoned Pooh and Hundred Acre Wood. I am not sure who was more the villain but I am leaning more towards Mr. Robin, the efficiency expert for a luggage company tasked with cutting staff. During hard times, you have to make hard decisions. I am sure my own management could be helped if only they had the assistance of their childhood imaginary friends, who are (SPOILER !!), in fact quite real.

Pooh wakes up one day out of honey, and Hundred Acre Wood is a mess, so he sets out to find out where his friends and/or Christopher Robin might be, cuz they can help. He goes through Christopher Robin's door and finds himself in a park across from Mr. Robin's flat. In a world that must be alternate-universe adjacent to Paddington Pooh is real for everyone and Hundred Acre Wood seems to be in a pocket universe. In London, he causes trouble for Christopher Robin until the man agrees to return with him for another adventure.

The movie is rather melancholy, all about our loss of childhood innocence & sense of adventure due to Reality Taking Over. His life was overtaken by a World War (II) and while our current trauma is not whatsoever comparable, it does seem to come with its own similarities. If anything, where Christopher Robin was able to generate a balance of Succeeding at Work with Being with Family, I wonder if all of us being forced to be at home with them might be detrimental? Maybe all we need is some stuffed buddies to remind us of what is really, truly important.

Kent's brief take.

3 Short Paragraphs: Zombieland 2: Double Tap

2019, Ruben Fleischer (Venom) -- download

I suppose we cannot be going through The Pause without making some commentary on a zombie movie and how we are just this shy of it Being the Reason Why. And considering I already ReWatched the cliche for these times, that is Contagion, back in December when this was all new, why not this movie. I am still not over the video from China with the kids being shoved into a box on the back of a truck while she screams.

So, first movie, a brilliant commentary on zombie flicks and how to survive hem. It's funny, well paced and innovative. But that was 10 years ago. We will forget there was a failed attempt at a TV show -- it was terrible. So, did we need another movie, a sequel? No, we didn't, but a bit more of the first, as well as seeing where the characters and the world are 10 years later, as long as it's the original cast and director, is not as bad of an idea.

The thing is, yeah, one was enough. It's not that this movie is bad, as it really does just present more of the same, if a little amped up in the ridiculous nature of this particular zombie apocalypse, it's that it really needed to just do more. Sure, they kicked things off at the White House, with our mains moving in and taking over, but it has been ten years; they didn't really seem to age. You would think more about them would change beyond... aging. So fun popcorn movie, burped and forgotten.

Oh look, I actually did three SHORT paragraphs. Wonders never cease.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood

2019, Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs) -- download

During The Pause, I hope to be watching more movies than I usually do, given that I will be shaving the commute off my day, and while I don't go out very often, as it is, I will be going out even less. So, more time to watch schtuff  I feel I should be watching? No? Time will be wasted? Of course it will, but at the very least, I can dig into cleaning out the every aging back-list for this blog. Or, at some point, all those entries will have to be tossed into an I Saw!! But, for now, let's see which ones I can get to and which new ones I will actually sit down for.

So, my only (really? REALLY?) Oscar contender -- OUaTiH. Tarantino used to be That Director that guys like me, guys that claimed to be Movie Buffs, gravitated towards. He typified the Indie Director, set the tone for Better Action Movies and had utterly killer dialogue. He was also a big movie fan, and that seeped into every single movie he made. As the years went by, and I lessened in my dedication to this thing and I didn't rush to his movies nor had a strong opinion about most. But this one, I had a sense I would really like, as most people were describing it as long (2.5+ hours) and drawn out. Usually which bores others, I get enthralled in. And I was right, just about everything that most people didn't enjoy about this movie, primarily Brad Pitt driving around Hollywood, was exactly what I loved. But as a whole, I am not entirely sure I loved the movie. I hated the ending.

Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio, Inception) is an aging, almost entirely washed up action TV star,  remembered mostly for his long running TV show Bounty Law. It is 1969, the end of another era where Rick reigned. He is challenged with finding new, meaningful work, but he still has his best friend and stunt man Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt, 12 Monkeys) on the payroll, to drive him around and basically play valet & confident. In the world around them, Sharon Tate is a rising star and the Manson Family have moved onto the Spahn Ranch. Tate & Roman Polanski have moved into the house up the lane from Rick. Worlds will collide.

So, I was not kidding that most of this movie is Cliff driving around. Sometimes he is driving Rick around, sometimes he is just killing time until he has to drive Rick around again. Cliff doesn't really have a life if Rick isn't working, or if Rick hasn't convinced people to let Cliff on the project. While Rick moans and groans in his fancy house below Polanski's, Cliff lives in a crappy trailer. But he doesn't seem bitter, maybe just satisfied to live In Hollywood for as long as he can. I loved the retrospective on an era of Hollywood, maybe not one of most classically famous but one that had quite the rep, especially when the Mason Family got mixed up in it. Obviously this last thing pissed Tarantino off to no end, as he performed another Rewriting of History, as he did in Inglourious Basterds and ... well, I won't spoil it. If you haven't seen it, you really have to. Its gory, over the top and oh so Tarantino.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

2020, Cathy Yan (Dead Pigs) -- download

This is the first of probably a long series of posts about Watching During the Pause. This is a new world, a scary world, a world where studios cannot release new movies to the cinemas, so they are releasing first (or releasing early) to Online. And thus, if it's online, it can be pirated. But a lot more movies will get out there, a lot more movies will hit the services people are already signed up for, or were considering. Like I said in days past, seeing movies Online will become a thing when they make it easier to just pay & watch than figuring out a way to pirate safely.

Harley Quinn was born not of the Batman comics, but of the Batman: the Animated Series. She's The Joker's girlfriend and partner in psychotic crime, who began her career as his therapist. In the movies, she got her introduction via Suicide Squad which gathered together a bunch of Batman villains to fight and even Badder Guy. Birds of Prey started as a comic with Black Canary and Barbara Gordon / Oracle, but later expanded to include The Huntress, and even later versions included Gordon as Batgirl. I am not sure there is was ever a version that included Harley or Cassandra Cain or Renee Montoya, but the latter got her start in The Animated Series as well, so at least there is a tenuous connection. AND Cain actually is one of the Batgirls of later, so again tenuous connection. What I am getting at is that the label this movie grabbed makes no sense and I am not sure why the producers, Margot Robbie included, wanted to tie them together.

So, this is Harley (Margot Robbie, I, Tonya) post Suicide Squad and the Joker broke up with her. She's despondent, drowning her sorrows in the seedy clubs of Gotham's underground, and lacking friends. But she does have a new pet hyena named Bruce. She doesn't mean to, but ends up dragged into a plot involving Bad Guy Roman Sionis (Ewan McGrego, The Impossible), his club singer Dinah Lance (sans Ollie Queen; Jurnee Smollett-Bell, True Blood ), revenge fueled Crossbow Killer Huntress (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Sky High) and older than your usual cop detective Montoya (Rosie Perez, Fearless). Oh, and there is a kid pickpocket who bears the name Cassandra Cain. After much rather humdrum misadventure, Harley convinces them all to team up with her to fight back against Sionis.

I went in with no malice intended against this movie. I didn't really know what to expect, beyond a bunch of psychedelic, over the top sequences focused on Margot Robbie. I wasn't sure how they were connecting her to the comic, but didn't really care. I also didn't care that this was part of the flop DC Universe. A nice stand-alone movie would be nice. Alas... sigh. It was just so very very tired and second rate. The acting was wooden, oh so painfully so for Winstead. The action scenes were ... lazy? I almost felt like I was watching cable TV. There we some fun scenes, like Harley invading the police station, and the car chase on roller skates, but beyond that I was just ... bored. Maybe its out current state of mind, maybe its the current state of the world, where maybe I need to be much further pulled out of reality to enjoy myself, but to me, this movie was even more unsatisfying than the Justice League movies that were at least pretty.

3 Short Paragraphs: Knives Out

2019, Rian Johnson (Looper) -- download

In a Whodunnit movie, everyone can potentially be the Bad Guy and the Detective is usually rather brilliant. The plot takes lots of twists & turns, constantly having us (the viewer) reevaluate who we believe the criminal to be. Never was this better turned on its head than in  Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express where (SPOILER!) EVERYONE is the Bad Guy, but not. Fun, but for the most part, we like whodunnits to play out exactly as expected. So then, I am not quite sure whether Johnson intended on this being a classic whodunnit, or was he looking to play with the tropes. All I know is that outside of the vast array of incredible performances, I am not sure I was as blown away by this movie as much as everyone else seemed to be.

Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer, Up), a famous crime novelist with a contentious uber-wealthy family, is found dead from apparent suicide. Given who he is, it still has to be investigated, which brings in Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, Cowboys & Aliens), famous detective. In name, and in introduction, he is the classic (i.e. brilliant) detective, as he sits in the background during interviews, tapping a key on the piano, to denote each lie told in his presence. But that's where his brilliance ends, as he doesn't even know who hired him, let alone have any brilliant insights into who might have killed Thrombey. But the constantly contradicting stories between the family members and the very suspicious behaviour of Thrombey's attending nurse Marta (Ana de Armas, Blade Runner 2049) sends him down many rabbit holes. I found myself hand waving him aside, and trying to unravel this mystery on my own, which was probably Johnson's plan all along.

Plot-wise, I didn't find anything remarkable about this movie. Its well done. But performance-wise, it is top notch. Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Toni Collette, Chris Evans and many others keep us attentive and focused for the entire movie. Also, the house. That house! Whodunnits are often known for their locales, the places where people can be gathered to investigate or for exposition to be presented. This house out does itself, fully displaying the life of an eccentric writer of crime fiction who made a boat-load of money, allowing himself to indulge in toooons of knick knacks, momentos and odd choices at decorating. With all these solid performances, I was quite satisfied with what I saw, despite not being as enthralled as much as critics were. If anything, I am glad Johnson got something to wash the bad taste of Star Wars out of his mouth.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt. E

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here. And Pt C. And Pt. D.

Good Guys!

I just like watching TV shows where the good guys where white hats, and the bad guys where black. Sure, I don't mind a bit of complication here and there, a bit of humanity in my non-reality, but I guess I am just not built to root for the bad guy. There may be a few exceptions but it explains why I never took to Breaking Bad, The Sopranos or The Shield. And it also explains why I continue to watch Magnum PI and The Rookie.

FBI, 2018-2020, CBS

The Dick Wolf formula (Law & Order) but applied to the FBI working out of NYC. Maggie Bell (Missy Peregrym, Van Helsing) and OA Zidam (Zeeko Zaki, 24: The Legacy) are the lead special agents / characters in this comfort food of crime fiction. Behind the scenes there is a regular cast of analysts and fellow agents, led by Jeremy Sisto and Sela Ward then Alana de la Garza. Each episode is either a murder that has impacts requiring the FBI to investigate (or politics just places them in the lead) or actual FBI stuff, like terrorism, espionage, etc. In today's fictional US crime landscape, what the FBI is mandated to investigate is fluid, so really anything can happen.

The Dick Wolf formula balances the investigation with the expansion of the characters' lives. We learn that Maggie still suffers after losing her husband to an unexplained murder, OA struggles with being a Muslim in today's America, Jubal (Sisto) is a recovering alcoholic and analyst Kristen Chazal (Ebonee Noel, Wrecked) continues to prove herself eventually being promoted to active field duty, but not without consequences.

These are good people, and it is nice to be able to approach the paranoid nature of American federal crime prevention without the cynicism of reality. This aspect of "Hollywood" has been capturing my attention of late, where in reality we fear or hate the Trump backed forces of oppression, these TV shows want to establish (at least in fiction) that they are still agents of Good.

Deputy, 2019-2020, Fox

American crime fighting organizations can be confusing. Sure, we in Ontario have the local police, the OPP (are you down with... ?) and the federal RCMP. In the US they have many many more branches, including the Sheriff's Dept. Think of sheriffs as the OPP for much of the US outside of "incorporated cities". In the LA Sheriff's Dept, the are contracted by the city, as well as the communities around the city, all inside LA county. There weirdest thing is that the Sheriff is elected, not appointed as the most appropriate. In some counties, the Sheriff may just be the best political figurehead.

In Deputy, the LA County Sheriff dies of a heart attack and Bill Hollister steps in. Bill (Stephen Dorff, Alone in the Dark) is a cowboy -- tough, gruff and more comfortable kicking down doors than playing politics. But he despises his rival, the man who expected to assume the Sheriff's role, so he keeps the job and proceeds to fight to change the internal political behaviour he observes. All the while he continues to shoot at bad guys, ride horses and constantly go where he knows he shouldn't.

I normally wouldn't enjoy this Walker, Texas Ranger style program but they have an agenda beyond romanticizing "real men" and classic American ideals; this show is definitely Left. Let's ignore that Bill has married a Mexican woman and is deep in the culture, especially as his daughter approaches her quinceañera. The episode where Bill breaks up an ICE raid because he sees himself as protecting all the citizens under his hat, even though not yet real certified as citizen. To him they were victims of a sex trafficking ring and his to protect, fuck the Federal money from ICE. Also Bill is assigned an assistant: a driver, bodyguard and someone who helps him navigate the never ending meetings he has to attend. At first, we see Bishop, a butch lesbian (Bex Taylor-Klaus, The Last Witch Hunter) but soon we learn they are in the initial stages as identifying as non-binary. Bill is visibly uncomfortable but also very VERY clear that Deputy Bishop is His People, worthy of his respect and understanding. Bill is a Good Man and the entire show is about showing us that this is what LA County needs right now.

FBI: Most Wanted, 2019-2020, CBS

Not that I generally have a lot to say about all these shows, but this one I have the least to say other than I am watching it, irregularly, in that I am downloading in batches and watching a few episodes when I don't find myself gravitating elsewhere. That aspect of my Watching is odd to me, in that there are shows I drop but shouldn't have, shows I should be watching but don't and shows I definitely shouldn't be watching but do. Well, this show, for me, is like toast. I don't have toast every night or day, despite my moniker. But when I do, I tend to sit down for four slices and a large glass of milk and just enjoy. It's comfort food, something to settle in with and let it help slide the world away. The same of this show, it not being anything grand or even bad, in the other direction, but it is something familiar, predictable and comforting.

Now, this spin-off of the main show, focuses on a team that is primarily hunting down people on the Most Wanted list. Led by the Jess LaCroix (Julian McMahon, Runaways) this squad uses skills and mainly tenacity to find people who have committed heinous crimes, usually murder or kidnapping, and gone on the run. Once the perps leave the state, these guys are called in. The little bit of personal development is left to our exploration of LaCroix, who in the field is more than a little bit of an asshole, driven and forthright, but at home, he is dealing with the death of his wife, a native American soldier who died overseas. The show is exploring the relationship between him and his daughter, and his wife's people, as she lives with her grandparents. As a reminder, his wife's brother is on his team.

The show is the thinnest of character development and a lot of people die on this one. But it follows the formula well enough to attract me over the other crimes shows like NCIS or Hawaii Five-Oh.

3 Short Paragraphs: Motherless Brooklyn

2019, Edward Norton (Keeping the Faith) -- download

I began my love for film noir (misspelled it nori which suggests a whole new sub-genre of Japanese detective flicks) when I was in high school, finding myself as the "cool kid" who liked 30s/40s black & white movies. I loved the distinctive characters, the gritty seedy urban underbellies and the period lingo. And, of course, the dames. Who doesn't love a hard-boiled mouthy dame. Now, you can do contemporary noir but something about the time period, the fedoras and trench coats, the cars and the architecture, all the etched in brownstone tropes, makes the genre more palpable. So much so, that Norton, when writing the movie (from a novel by Jonathan Lethem) he moved it back in time to the 50s.

Motherless Brooklyn follows Lionel, a gumshoe (who chews a lot of gum) working for Frank (Bruce Willis, Unbreakable). Lionel has Tourettes, which makes him a challenge to work with, but also an asset given one of his ticks is that he has to unravel things, physical objects and even plots. Early on, and in film noir this is no spoiler, Frank is killed; so Lionel takes it upon himself (donning Frank's fedora) to solve the case -- why was Frank murdered and what had he stumbled into. Lionel has to step from the shadows as Frank's comic relief support, control his personal demons and find out what is what.

If Chinatown was about water and land and people trying to control the money it makes through extortion and murder, then this movie is about "slum" demolition for the sake of NYC's expansion, and the men who benefit from it, and the (black) people who are dispossessed. It's a long, meandering movie, while staying focused on its statement that the grandeur of NYC today was built by paving over the communities of people unable to fight back. Lionel's ticks make for a memorable character, but they struck me as softened, as I always associated Tourettes with more graphic barks and explicit exultations. Meanwhile, Lionel says something mildly embarrassing or amusing, and people just smile or giggle, and then move on. The strife in race relations also seemed somewhat softened, as if Norton was afraid to write some of the truly harsh realities black people would have had to deal with, and likely still do. Everyone, even the bad guys, seemed reasonable or even affable. Maybe after the slap in the indifferent face of Watchmen, I want to be truly challenged by race relations stories. Make me feel bad, not just kind of agreeing that in order for NYC to become as we see it now, someone had to pay.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt.D

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here. And Pt C.

I realised right this moment, that the top paragraph insinuates that I watched some of these items A Long Time Ago (In a Galaxy...) but for some, that is just not so. Luckily the second paragraph does have an Am Watching, so ... still accurate!

Food!

For example, the latest series of The Chef Show just started and we are watching episodes as the last thing before bed. We realized that watching them earlier in the night, or (!!!) before having supper, was detrimental to our well-being. Just seeing such grand, yummy dishes being enjoyed by people makes me hungry. And envious. So, just before bed, when I am already satiated, is just a coping mechanism.

The Chef Show, Netflix

I love the movie Chef. It's probably the only non-genre movie I should have on The Shelf, unless you want to consider food a genre. Roy Choi was the consulting chef for the movie, and taught Jon everything he knew to be a proper chef; in the movie. They started as co-workers but they fast became friends, and the two continue the journey, Jon learning from Roy, always.

Roy Choi made his name as the guy who brought Korean Tacos to the world, and also, created this current idea of food trucks (chic, trendy, novel food choices). He was a classically trained chef who went down a different road, and succeeded, creating a legacy that, like craft beer, will never go away, even after the craze tapers. Jon, with his success at Marvel, built a show with Roy, one that spins off the movie in the first season, but is really about their friendship and the tutelage Jon receives from Roy.

I love watching people love food. Because I love food, which is still a weird thing to say considering I was such a picky eater as a kid. I am still a guy ruled by his exceptions to food: my sensitivities to nuts & seafood, my dislike of some textures and smells (banana! ick!) but I still love seeing people enthralled by food, even if I could not enjoy it. This new wave of food TV, where it's not about competition nor recipes, but about the experience and social encounters is gravy on the french fries to me.

Earlier seasons had the two in the kitchen revisiting recipes from the movie, or working through favourite dishes with other celebrities. Some episodes visited the kitchens / restos of chefs that Roy knows & respects. And some episodes were just toss away, only existing because of a celebrity Jon knows -- I am talking about you Gwyneth Paltrow & Robert Rodriguez. So far Season 3 has been in Vegas, including a steak-craving inducing visit with Wolfgang Puck and a a kick-in-the-pants visit to Choi's LV place called Best Friends, which I was probably 25' from, and never bothered to check out, because Celebrity Chef = Dollars. It turns out to be quite the affordable experience and we would have probably loved it. But at least I got to an authentic taco truck in LV; it honestly was one of the reasons I wanted to visit the west US.

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, 2019, Netflix

David Chang is my other celebrity chef crush. He's the guy who brought Momofuku to the world, the resto I am ashamed to say I have not yet visited, and its in Toronto. Seriously, what's wrong with me?!?! It's in Toronto, easily accessible and highlights two things I absolutely love: KFC (Korean Fried Chicken) and Ramen! Chang was the guy who put ramen on the map for people like me. He took it from Japan and turned it into a craze. Some would say, for the worse, considering there are probably 30+ different ramen chains in Toronto right now. But, like craft beer, you can never have too many options.

Chang has a had a few food shows, with Ugly Delicious, and even a guest appearance on the previously mentioned Chef Show. With this one, he takes a small number of celebrities (big or small) and visits a place (country, area) with them to experience it through their eyes & eat with them. He goes to Morocco with Chrissy Teigan, he goes to Cambodia with Kate MacKinnon, he wanders around Vancouver (smoking, baking) with Seth Rogen and does LA with Lena Waithe.

Each experience is unique. He and Seth get stoned and wander Rogen's childhood. He and Chrissy eat the familiar and unfamiliar and never stop cracking jokes; she's been there before, he has not. Cambodia is about Kate's enjoyment of traveling alone, and she is just letting him tag along. And Lena, who I really did not know at all (she's a writer/actor, known for The Chi) and the two visit LA neighbourhood restos, as they are both transplants there.

Like Ugly Delicious which I still have not entirely watched, and might never do so (strange part of my psyche that I drop or never see things I know I will enjoy), or it would be here, the show is uneven. At its best it's when David lets his guests guide him into conversation. Like many chefs, he's always itching for complete control of the narrative, and you can see it clearly on his face, but the success of this show is through the conversation.

Gentefied, 2020, Netflix

A half-hour sitcom formatted show about about a family run taco shop in East LA. It is exactly what I want from "foreign" TV, in that it gives me a window into a world I have absolutely no exposure. The first thing I noticed is that this was an LA I did not recognize, as in, not the LA from other TV shows. This seemed ... and I cannot really be sure ... real. It felt authentic, but as a White As Can Be Boy from East Canada, I have very little exposure and understanding of East LA besides what crime TV and movies show me. So, what do I know.

The Morales run Mama Fina's, a small taco shop. Pop, grandfather to the rest, is trying to keep the place afloat despite gentrification and the all too common increase of costs against reduction of customers. His grandchildren: Eric, Chris and Anna either work or live with him, for varying reasons (crime, poverty) that are pushed into the background to focus on just being people. Eric is the dutiful grandson, who brings family first, even as he tries to reconcile with his baby mama. Chris is just returned from Idaho, works in a local high end restaurant, and wants to go to Cordon Bleu. Anna is gay, an artist and underemployed. Pop wants his shop, his legacy after decades of hard work, to survive despite being aware that change is coming. He gets it, but doesn't want to.

The show is a little uneven but a lot of fun. And it makes me hungry. It is equal parts family conflict, high tension dramatic, silly sitcom-ish behaviour and tacos. Mmmmm, I love me the little tacos. The show is not entirely focused on tacos, but it never gets far from the shop, the staff, the issues in keeping it afloat, the regulars and the community. Of note, while I hear them mentioning tacos al pastor in the show, I don't see a trompe in the background, so... artistic license.