Go-Go-Godzilla #21: Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II

Director: Takao Okawara
Year: 1993
Sutdio: TriStar, Toho Pictures
Length: 105 minutes

The Creature's' Story:
Godzilla back! Back with first-monster narrative of Godzilla experience in Godzilla movie. 

This one start with Godzilla just hanging out in the sea, living life when sense something up on surface. A disturbance, in the force...the kaiju force. Stupid Rodan making trouble. Godzilla hate that lizard bird. It easy enough to spit nuke breath on and blast out of sky then wring dumb leather bird neck. But wait, Rodan not what Godzilla sense in kaiju force. No... Godzilla sense...unhatched baby Godzilla? Hashtag not Godzilla baby. But who baby then? Not Rodan baby. Damn. It must be Godzilla baby. Godzilla get around. But Scaleless human take Baby G egg away.

Godzilla sense when Baby G hatch and Godzilla go to smashy town to find Baby G. But along way, Godzilla encounter Big Metal Beast, BMB, BaMBi. This BaMBi real tough. It take multiple nuke breaths and still stand. It also have very annoying, painful nuke breath, and nuke glare, and nuke belly. Godzilla not like BaMBi. Godzilla not make new friend today. What Godzilla make is big can of whoop ass...on big can of beast. Godzilla take BaMBi down.  Then teensy humans send their stinging birds and beetles after me, fire their sharp little poops. So annoying. Godzilla been through this rodeo too many time. Stompy stompy, smashy smashy. Baby G cries tell Godzilla where to go. Until Godzilla no hear Baby G cries anymore.... Oh well...maybe Godzilla make mistake. Godzilla go home now.

Later... Godzilla just hanging out, living Godzilla life when Godzilla sense Baby G again in the kaiju force. Dammit, guess Godzilla got go do the dad thing and bring Godzilla baby home. But stupid BaMBi back in action and have special backpack. Lot tougher with special backpack...and ow! Shit! BaMBi blow up Godzilla second brain. Godzilla not feel good.

Dumb leather bird, though, make dumb sacrifice and save Godzilla by passing all Radiation along. Eventually dumb ant people get gist that if they just give Godzilla Baby, then Godzilla go away. Dumb one-brained humans. Godzilla take Baby and go off again, live Godzilla life.

The Human Story:
After the events of Godzilla vs King Ghidorah, the newly formed United Nations G-Force (no, not those hamsters) have salvaged the remains of Mechaghidorah and built the ultimate weapon against Godzilla: Mechagodzilla.  And they had just built the Garuda, a flying tank that improves upon the Super X and Super X-2, but Mechagodzilla is such a better weapon.

Kazuma Aoki, who helped build the Garuda is reassigned from his cozy desk/tech job and into the field, slated to be on the team piloting Mechagodzilla. It's evident he doesn't have the warrior instincts. But he's got the technical expertise the team needs (apparently, it's never explicit why this apparent doof is needed on the team).

Meanwhile the Professor and Azusa are on Adona Island where they find an irradiated egg, which, when they encounter Rodan, they presume incorrectly is a pteradon egg.  They load the egg onto a helicopter and steal it away while Godzilla fights Rodan. Back in Kyoto, Azusa and Kazuma meet when he barges into her lab and starts taking pictures. He's a pterodon fanatic. Azusa demurely forces him out of the lab, only for the egg to hatch and imprint upon her. But the awoken Baby Godzilla's cries draw Godzilla to the city. Kazuma is too busy farting around with the Baby to assist the team in Mechagodzilla taking on Godzilla when the big guy wrecks Kyoto (both coming and going), so he gets demoted to valet duty in the G-Force parking lot.  They do figure out that Baby has a link to Godzilla and they need to figure out what to do with him.

Scientists theorize that Godzilla has a second brain in his spine, and they think that Miki the psychic girl can help locate the brain, and they can permanently cripple, if not kill Godzilla in an outright attack on this brain. In his spare time Kazuma figures out that the handling of Garuda can be improved and that it can pair with Mechagodzilla to make Super-Mechagodzilla. He also gets a very slow moving flying rocket sled which he takes Azusa for a spin on. But when a crew of psychic children come to sing a song to Baby Godzilla they trigger a stress reaction which once again alerts Godzilla and a supercharged Rodan to their location. They need to get Baby G out of town before the destruction happens, but it's too late. Rodan is too fast.

Eventually Rodan is taken down by Mechagodzilla, but then Godzilla shows up for round two. The fight is brutal, and Super-Mechagodzilla takes the big guy out, until Rodan sacrifices himself so that Godzilla can get the baby Godzillasaur and live. It's a tearful goodbye for Azusa, but a beautiful beginning for father and son. 

Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
In this case, sort of misunderstood foe. Reluctant. To the point that when the humans are about to defeat him, it's not a triumphant moment but a sad one, and Miki, who's had a connection with Godzilla for five films now, has to be the one to pull the trigger.

The Sounds:
Akira Ifukube returns, but his score once again feels largely derivative. Where throughout the Showa era he didn't repeat themes and each film had its own unique flavour, over these past two films he's returned to, it's felt like a lot of the same repeated notes over and over with scant variation.

The Message:
Maybe leave nature alone? Had the humans just left the egg, Godzilla and Rodan could have co-parented and maybe saved themselves a lot of destruction and grief.

Rating (out of 5 Zs): ZZZz
This is really what I've been waiting for in the Heisei era, for a straightforward story with some emotional component that dares to be adventurous with its action.  Director Okawara employs a lot of zoom, shaking, and abstract angles in the camerawork during the fight sequences adding a frantic element missing from the previous "vs" movies in the Heisei era. The fights also feature a lot of creative attacks and look vastly different from what we've seen in 'zilla films before.  The compositing between the suits, the minis and live action is all done really well, with some impressive shots that make Godzilla look appropriately monstrous.

The characters are pared back in this one, there's not a half dozen or dozen extraneous players muddying up the field so we get somewhat of a character-based story. It's still a pretty thin arc for both Asuza and Kazuma but the increased amount of screentime as compared to past leads at least gives us more time and connection to them. It would have served the film (and series) much, much better to have Miki be the one who gets attached to Baby G since her character has been so poorly developed and had so little to do so far.  

I watched this one on an American-released DVD and it was only in dubbed form. I watched along with the subbed version on the Internet Archive and while some of the English translation varies, it doesn't appear that anything was cut out or re-edited.

I was worried about Baby G, but they did a pretty good job with not making it too annoying or too cute, and he was pretty sympathetic as a poor scared creature.

This is not a direct sequel to Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla, nor is the mech called "Mechagodzilla 2" in the movie so I'm not sure why they went with the roman numeral "II" in the title. Just to be different I guess.

Go-Go-Godzilla: Heisei Era in review

I come out of the Heisei Era of Godzilla (1984 - 1995) wondering if I even like Godzilla at all anymore. I mean, I must otherwise I wouldn't be putting in this kind of time and energy into watching every damn last one of them. But I'm trying to remember if there's a single Godzilla film that I didn't fall asleep to while watching, at least since maybe the first two from the Showa era, and I can't think of one.  If I need to go to naptown, it looks like Godzilla is the guy to take me there.

The Heisei spans 7 films over an 11 year period, as opposed to the Showa era which spanned 15 films over a 21 year period. All things told, both eras were dispensing films at almost the same rate. Toho, once they get the machine up and running, can seemingly just crank these things out. The last 5 films of the Heisei era all came out in a 5 year span (the last 12 Showa era films came out in a 13 year span). But that kind of speed does show in the quality of storytelling.

The first four of the Heisei era films are not readily available to stream, rent or buy. I saw a copy of Godzilla vs Biollante on Blu-Ray at a video store a few weeks ago, and it was selling for over $200. I wound up finding free streams in Japanese with subtitles on the Internet Archive. The video quality was ok, but the sound quality was terrible...all I can say is it's good that there was subtitles. I did wind up acquiring the latter three Heisei films on DVD, since distribution rights were acquired by TriStar in America. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla came in a sealed 7-movie set with all the Millennium Era Godzilla films (so I'm set for the next phase) while Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla and Godzilla vs Destroyah came on a single, double sided disk which I found at a used store.  These three were all dubbed, which is not my preference at all. I did watch most of Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla with the Internet Archive subtitled version on my phone just to compare the dub vs the sub, and they weren't exact, but they weren't too egregiously different either, not like the heavily edited American versions of the Showa Era G-films.

After I watch a Godzilla film -- or rather, after I start watching a Godzilla film, fall asleep through half of it, get confused and frustrated by the ending, then re-watch another day, and do my silly and wholly unnecessary play-by-play write-up -- I hop over to youtube and watch Big Action Bill's amazing "history of" videos which go deep into the pre-production background, details on the suits used for the production, info on the director and performers and writers and music...just really well researched and essential compendiums for pop culture tourists like myself who are only going to spend a limited amount of time and investment in a property before they move onto something else.

Through Big Action Bill's videos, it sort of confirms the chaotic nature of these films behind the scenes. Scripts seem pretty rushed in coming together, often just cobbled from the dregs of past disposed-of story ideas and monster concepts. Where a lot of time and energy are put into building miniature cities and the suits, the actual filming of these movies seems very much a "get the shot, move on" concept. 

There's a marked improvement in both miniature construction and suit construction in 9 years between Terror of Mechagodzilla and The Return of Godzilla, but the production values seem comparable between the two eras. Depending on the director , you might get some absolutely gorgeous shots, with impeccable lighting that really trick the eye in a delightful way, or you might just get puppets on strings swirling around on what's clearly a badly lit set, and  sometimes both even within the same film... there's no consistency.

After 22 films, they still haven't figured out how to do a flying creature well. Whether it's men in big rubber suits hoisted in the air by cables, or static mini-puppets bashing into each other, they all look unconvincingly awful.  Every time they introduce a new monster with wings I have to groan, because the monster fights with flying creatures are the absolute worst. 

Big Action Bill also pointed out that in Japanese cinema it's common for extraneous or tertiary characters to pop in to deliver exposition or do an action beat or take up space that one of the main characters would otherwise take in a North American film. Most Godzilla films in both the Showa and Heisei era sink because there are too many characters, and the "main" characters of the film are really non-entities with no development to speak of. That Toho recycles their actors from film to film in different roles only confuses things even more. I found myself asking myself "Are we supposed to know that guy?"  

The Heisei era had a few recurring characters, including government and military personnel, who, if they had a name, I never really cottoned to it, because they are so minor and inconsequential despite being in (nearly?) every movie. Then there was Miki the Psychic Girl who appears in 6 of the 7 films, but has no distinct character arc and no defining personality to speak of. She's a consistent presence but has so very little to do. She's supposed to have this strong connection with Godzilla, but it amounts to almost nothing but an exposition dump every time.

The first two Heisei films, The Return of Godzilla and Godzilla vs Biollante, felt ...elevated somewhat from their Showa Era predecessors, but following that it felt like the Heisei era was really reverting back to Showa-era goofiness to varying effect. Godzilla vs Destroyah does effectively return a bit of actual horror and tension with Godzilla's impending meltdown set to destroy the world, but really inept scripting and storytelling rob the film of much of its dramatic and emotional impact.

I went into the Heisei era really excited, hoping to see better stories, better characters, tighter continuity, and, well, I got one of those three, the one that matters least. I come out of the Heisei era feeling pretty drained on the property, and let down overall.  Many fans, I've been hearing, consider the Heisei era to be be the best of big G, which has me even more worried as I head into the Millennium era. 

One big change needs to happen in this process of watching all the Godzillas is a further adaptation of the template I'm using to recap them... especially the "recapping" part. It started with the Double Oh series for James Bond and then was almost a necessity with our A Toast to HallmarKent series, but recapping a movie beat by beat, or even in broad strokes, has become one of my least favourite things, primarily because Godzilla films are so anti-structure and, frankly, poorly written, event-focused stories.  So recapping all the sort of stream-of-consciousness flow to these movies is kind of maddening, because they don't make much sense and trying to capture every absurd swerve is a fools errand. I'm that fool, but I can no longer be.  Heck, maybe we'll find the Millennium era finally finds some narrative drive to their movies....

At least I know, post-Millennium, getting into the Monsterverse and Reiwa era, that there's some actual great stuff happening there to look forward to.  

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Rankings:

Heisei Era

1. The Return of Godzilla
2. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II
3. Godzilla vs Destroyah
4. Godzilla vs Mothra
5. Godzilla vs Biollante
6. Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla
7. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah
8. Godzilla 1985

All the films (so far):

1. The Return of Godzilla
2. Godzilla vs Mothra (1964)
3. Gojira
4. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974)
5. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep
6. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II
7. Terror of Mechagodzilla
8. Godzilla vs Destroyah
9. Godzilla vs Mothra (1992)
10. Godzilla vs. Hedorah
11. Godzilla vs Gigan
12. Godzilla vs Megalon
13. Destroy All Monsters
14. Godzilla vs Biollante
15. Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla
16. All Monsters Attack
17. Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster
18. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah
19. Invasion of the Astro Monster
20. Godzilla Raids Again
21. Godzilla 1985
22. Son of Godzilla
23. Godzilla King of the Monsters (1956)
24. King Kong vs Godzilla (US version 1962)

Go-Go-Godzilla: Millennium Era in review

 

I've written thousands of words about and around Godzilla and, frankly, I'm exhausted. 

I mentioned previously that throughout the Showa and Heisei eras of Godzilla I would routinely fall asleep whilst watching those films. The pleasant surprise of the Millennium era was how engaged I was throughout each and every one of those movies, well, except GMK (Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidora: Giant Monsters All-out Attack). There I was close to unconsciousness a number of times, but, I never fully fell asleep. (Edit: I did nod off while writing this though). 

The Millennium era hits a point where digital effects have a bigger and bigger impact on the films, and being lower budget films in the early 2000s, you can guess how bad the digital effects can get. And yet, kind of how we accept silly, loose-fitting rubber suits, miniatures-that-are-clearly-miniatures, and camera-tricks- which-aren't-fooling-anyone from previous eras, many of the digital effects have a quaintness to them that don't rub abrasively. Instead, in many instances, they have their own charm. Credit to the Toho team at the time that they conservatively used digital effects much of the time to enhance scenes or sequences, rather than overreach...although surely overreaches did happen, and...moof.

I struggle to say that any of the Millennium Era films were great, and I would have a hard time recommending any of them to anyone who wasn't already interested in watching Godzilla films. My  favourite of the era (and there will be a full ranking update at the bottom of this) is a sequel film within the Era and probably not the easiest film to enter into coldly. 

Once again I find myself at odds with the G-fan concensus. GMK, touted as one of the highest watermarks of Godzilla films, is my second least favourite of the era.  Just as I didn't take to Godzilla vs. Biollante as G-Fans had in the Heisei era...I get what they're reacting to in those films, they just don't work for me. Once again, my appreciation lies in the storytelling, which is still pretty shaky throughout the Millennium era, but there is a palpable evolution, and seemingly a larger desire to invest in characters than in the previous era. As well the ambitiousness of the suits, the effect, the miniatures from film-to-film also intrigue me. But I would rather have a better composed shot, a more artistically lit scene, a more thoughtfully edited Godzilla fight sequence than the bog standard side-scrolling wide shot or that 3/4 tilt from on high which is so pervasive.  

There also seemed to be more effort to put the human characters into the midst of the fight (especially with Mechagodzilla in the fray).  Having the humans be active and meaningful participants makes the third-act brawl much more engaging. This also includes a lot more scenes of human characters navigating the mid- of post-fight wreckage, which I loved every time.

My favourite aspect of Godzilla is using sense of scale, getting that human POV of these titanic monsters, and we get a tremendous amount of those in the Millennium Era compared to the previous Eras, which had limited ability to truly blend live action and real locations with miniatures and suitmation.

I'm now heading into the final stretch with the three Warner Bros. Monsterverse films (leading into the fourth coming out at the end of March), and the two Reiwa Era live action films. Almost all of these I've seen already (save for Shin Godzilla), but I'm excited to watch them because I know what I'm in for. 

While I've been doing this series, I've watched the Monsterverse-related TV show (Monarch: Legacy of Monsters) and I've seen Godzilla Minus One as well, and also watched the first episode of the seemingly charming Netflix anime series Godzilla Singular Point which I think I'll get back to. I'm still skipping the '98 Godzilla as well as the three Netflix anime movies, but never say never.  I'm also flirting with doing a Gamera series of recaps, kind of the official competition to the Godzilla juggernaut in the Kaiju field.  I'm also thinking about the four Mothra solo films, since I clearly reacted well to that creature in this series. We shall see.

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RANKINGS

Millennium Era:

1. Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S
2. Godzilla 2000: Millennium
3. Godzilla vs Megaguiras
4. Godzilla: Final Wars
5. Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack
6. Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla

All of the films (so far)

1. The Return of Godzilla
2. Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.
3. Godzilla vs Mothra (1964)
4. Gojira
5. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974)
6. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep
7. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II
8. Terror of Mechagodzilla
9. Godzilla 2000: Millennium
10. Godzilla vs Megaguiras
11. Godzilla vs Destroyah
12. Godzilla vs Mothra (1992)
13. Godzilla vs. Hedorah
14. Godzilla vs Gigan
15. Godzilla vs Megalon
16. Godzilla: Final Wars
17. Destroy All Monsters
18. Godzilla vs Biollante
19. Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-out Attack
20. Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
21. Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla
22. All Monsters Attack
23. Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster
24. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah
25. Invasion of the Astro Monster
26. Godzilla Raids Again
27. Godzilla 1985
28. Son of Godzilla
29. Godzilla King of the Monsters (1956)
30. King Kong vs Godzilla (US version 1962)

Go-Go-Godzilla #27: Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla

Director: Masaaki Tezuka
Year: 2002
Length: 90 minutes

The Gist:
It's 1999 all over again, Godzilla is attacking Japan for the first time in 45 years. Lieutenant Akane Yashiro is an elite pilot of a maser-cannon. But when the military response is utterly ineffective, the only sane thing to do is retreat. In attempting to turn the maser-tank around, Akane accidentally knocks her comrades' jeep over the cliff side where it is crushed under Godzilla's heel. Akane is spiritually crushed, and accepts a demotion.

Meanwhile bio-robotics expert Tokumitsu Yuhara is recruited by the military for a special project, along with the nation's biggest brains... to create the ultimate anti-Godzilla weapon...out of the skeleton of the original Godzilla! Tokumitsu agrees to sign onto the project when his daughter, Sara is allowed to live on base with him.

Akane is recruited to be part of the Mechagodzilla (code name: Kiryu) piloting force, and she trains her ass off, while facing discrimination and harassment from the brother of a soldier she inadvertently knocked off the side of a cliff.

Just when the project is ready to revealed to the world, along with it's ultimate anti-Godzilla-weapon, a sub-zero chest ray, Godzilla attacks. Kiryu is sent out into the field for its first test run, and not only does it go badly, but less than two minutes into the fight, Godzilla roars at the metal beast, and it unlocks something in its regenerated DNA. The reconstituted "original" Godzilla inside the metal suit takes control and goes on a rampage. The Kiryu team is helpless to stop it, instead just having to wait for it to exhaust its power supply. Godzilla just walks away. It's pretty hilarious.

Tokumitsu hits on Akane a bunch, but Akane instead bonds with Sara over their dead moms. It's very Hallmark.

Kiryu is repaired, it's operating system upgraded to resist any sort of sentient takeover, and just in time for a rematch when Godzilla returns (the speculation is that Godzilla's actually coming ashore because Kiryu is built out of reconstituted Godzilla DNA). Kiryu is built to fly, which, as we know with Godzilla movies, means it looks awful when it does, and it manages to knock Godzilla around quite a bit. It even manages to fire off the absolute zero freeze ray gun but it misses, and the attempt drains Kiryu's energy. After Anane gets inside the metal beast, and the team taps the entire Tokyo power grid, Akane pilots Kiryo to fly it and Godzilla out to sea where she blasts him point blank with the absolute zero gun.

Both creature and mech survive, heavily, heavily damaged. Akane watches on as Godzilla retreats into the ocean. It's a draw.

In a post credit scene, Akane agrees to go out for a meal with Tokumitsu.

Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
He's a baddie, although, it seems his impetus for wrecking Japan is largely as a result of Japan building a mech out of dead Godzilla bones.

The Samesies:
Much of ...Against Mechagodzilla feels borrowed. It feels very samey.

The set-up of this feels largely regurgitated from Godzilla vs Megaguirus. A female military personnel feels guilty over the death of colleagues and seeks to redeem herself by killing Godzilla. The soldier having no time for love also carries over.

Like all of the Millennium Era Godzillas so far, ...Against Mechagodzilla acts as a sequel to the original Gojira, where they haven't seen a Godzilla since 1954. Only in this they acknowledge that other monsters, such as Mothra and Gaira (the green giant Frankenstein from War of the Gargantuas), have attacked in the intervening years. The ending of the original Gojira is modified as well for their purposes here. Where the oxygen destroyer completely obliterated every trace of the original Godzilla, here it is said it only stripped its bones clean, leaving the skeleton behind.

Michiru Oshima returns to score her second Godzilla feature (after ...vs Megaguirus) and brings back her thumping Godzilla theme. She hits the rest of the film with a heavy orchestral score that kind of bleeds into one bombastic sound instead of distinct compositions. It stands out at first but ultimately just becomes texture.

Mechagodzilla doesn't look dramatically different than his Showa and Reiwa Era counterparts despite modified weapon bits, and its hangar bay feels very Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II.

Once again Toho decided that they needed to aim for younger audiences, that Godzilla was getting too scary, so the horror or gory elements are quite toned down compared to prior Millennium era entries, to its detriment. In the final battle, Godzilla has his chest blown wide open, but we barely even notice it. Plus the injection of Sara into the film is clearly kid-pandering but ultimately yields little in terms of rewards. She's mostly just there.

The Differences:
What I enjoyed a lot early in the film is how it strove for a more ground-level-eye-view of the monsters more often than not, up until it has Godzilla and Kiryu face off. Unfortunately each time that happens we get a very level side view and occasional overhead views,  and it all feels like fairly bog standard Godzilla fighting, only with more CGI accompaniment to move the creatures faster or into the air.  It really doesn't look great at all.  The idea of presenting the scale of Godzilla is something the Millennium Era films have improved greatly upon, but the directors seem to revert to standard filming techniques for fight sequences in most cases.

Anyone worth caring about?

I've been nagging and nagging on and on about how these films seem so utterly resistant to telling a story about human characters with Godzilla attacks or monster battles as the backdrop. Well, finally we get one that is so fully about Akane's redemption arc and feeling worthy of Tokumitsu and Sara's affections that I should finally be happy right? 

Alas, no. It's such an utterly cliched story as to be pretty direly boring. It doesn't find any new beats and is often very confused about the beats it's trying to hit, particularly when it comes to her relationship with Sara. There's a very awkward scene where Akane is trying to tell Sara she will need to let go of her mother's death at some point, when Sara hits her back with her own bit of advice that rocks Akane to her core. But it's not really clear to me what was said that was so affecting.

That the post credits scene is just about Akane accepting a date from Tokumitsu is an incredible miscalculation of the use of a post-credit's scene. It does show a fully repaired Kiryu though.

The Message:
All life is precious. That's the message director Tezuka wants out of all his films. But despite a character (Sara) preaching it, and crying over it, the film itself doesn't fully respect this idea. At one point Sara notes how Godzilla and Kiryu are the same species and should be friends, not enemies, and tries to get the team to understand the Kiryu is a living being, but all of that concept goes out the window once rubber suits need to bash into one another trying to kill each other, and having the audience root for it to happen.

That it comes to a draw seems to be the satisfactory outcome for all.

Rating (out of 5 Zs): ZZ
I really wanted to like this one. It does so much that seems to be what I've been asking after, and yet it all feels muted, hollow and unexciting. The best moment was the awakening of Godzilla inside the Kiryu armor, a real highlight moment in all of Godzilla film, actually. But where prior Mechagodzilla films had a definite "fun" element to them, this one doesn't seem to know how to have fun. And when it does goofy things with CGI, the fact that it's not otherwise a "fun" movie just makes goofy CGI things feel out-of-place amidst the film's tepid melodrama.

Sleepytime Factor:
I only almost nodded off once, as usual it was during a "Godzilla fights tanks and planes" battle. Boy have those ever gotten so tiresome after 27 movies.  That there is a character story to focus on make it a more watchable film, just not a very good one.

Go-Go-Godzilla: final thoughts and ranking

 Last year, on Halloween, when I decided to start watching All The Godzillas*, I didn't know that there was both a new Toho Godzilla and Legendary Godzilla feature in the direct path of my stupid boy project. It was genuine good fortune that my viewing experience culminated with the release of Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. 

I also didn't expect that, just a few weeks prior to GxK, I would be cheering for a crew of Japanese visual effects artists as they held their Godzilla action figures in one hand and their Oscar in the other. Or that the best of all Godzilla films would be that latest Toho production.

As I reflect upon viewing  All The Godzillas*, it's a pretty messy blur of textured suits, destroyed miniatures and radiation blasts. If you were to pick out any pre-2010 Godzilla title and ask me to explain to you the plot, with the exception of the original Gojira I'm not sure that I could.  The Toho films run through so many of the same tropes and iterations of the same creatures, they reuse so many of the same actors in different roles, and their plots are so often labyrinthine or nonsensical or convoluted, and rarely ever with connective tissue from one film to the next, that it's really hard to make one stand out from the whole.  

Rather than a full or rich understanding of story or character, with each of the pre-2010 Toho films I am left with instead an impression, a sense of something that I liked or disliked about it, something that I reacted strongly or negatively to.

As I've said a few times, what I respond to most in Godzilla films is a strong character story. In almost every Godzilla film, Godzilla is not really a character. He is what the film is built around, weather as a force of nature, or as a planetary protector... he may have characteristics, or perhaps even a bit of personality, but he's never the central story character, certainly not like Kong usually is. I don't recall ever feeling a tremendous sense of sympathy or empathy for Godzilla.  Sure, you root for or against the big bastard, but you're never invested in him for his wants and desires, biting nails hoping he achieves his objectives.  And if Godzilla ever stares down a human, it's usually anyone's guess whether their monster is even clocking human facial expressions. Have you ever stared an ant in the eye and felt a genuine connection? There should be nothing remotely human about Godzilla, and he shouldn't care about us as a species at all.

As I wrote up each film for this "Go-Go-Godzilla" series, I assigned each film a ranking (out of 5 Zs). I also would enter my viewing in Letterboxd, assigning the film a ranking out of 5 stars. For the most part these rankings aligned (but not always, sometimes as I write things out my opinions can become more, or less, favourable). But I used these ratings to maintain my rankings list, adding to it with each film watched.

Very quickly the rankings list started to feel more and more arbitrary. By the time I was watching Tokyo S.O.S. do you really think I could earnestly compare it to Godzilla vs Megalon? All I really have to go on is my Z/star ratings as guide to establish tiers and then my general sense memory to sort the films within the tiers.

I mean, it was pretty obvious to me what my favourites were, and very clear what I genuinely did not care for, but everything in-between is the "mushy middle". 

Even with the Z/star rankings as guide, my "sense memory" of certain films wants me to push it higher, or perhaps question it's spot. Like Mothra vs Godzilla was a big win early on after two dudes, but is it really at equal stature or enjoyment to me as Minus One, 2014, or Shin?

Gojira is classic cinema, a massively influential and important film with a deeply resonant message. But its storytelling is disjointed and visually its perhaps not as potent as it was 50/60/70 years ago. But surely it's better than any film with MechaGodzilla, right?

And I feel like I would go to bat for Ebirah, Horror of the Deep any day, and think it should be in my top ten. So why isn't it?

I'm sure if I dared do a rewatch of all these that they would shift all around. I think Minus One, 2014, and Shin would all remain top 5, and that most of the bottom five would stay right there, but everything else could swing in unexpected ways. 

But I don't think Lady Kent would tolerate me doing a full Godzilla rewatch any time soon, and there's a whole lotta other kaiju tourism for me to partake in.

*********
RANKING
*********

1. Godzilla Minus One (2023) ****

2. Godzilla (2014) ****

3. Mothra vs Godzilla (1964) ****

4. Shin Godzilla (2016) ****

5. The Return of Godzilla (1984) ***1/2

6. Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2004) ***1/2

7. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974) ***1/2

8. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II (1993) ***1/2

9. Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975) ***1/2

10. Gojira (1954) ***

11. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966) ***

12. Godzilla vs Kong (2021) ***

13. Godzilla 2000: Millennium (1999) ***

14. Godzilla vs Megaguiras (2000) ***

15. Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971) ***

16. Godzilla vs Gigan (1972) ***

17. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973) ***

18. Godzilla vs Destroyah (1995) ***

19. Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster (1964) ***

20. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024) **1/2

21. Godzilla: Final Wars (2004) **1/2

22. Godzilla vs Mothra (1992)**1/2

23. Destroy All Monsters (1968) **½

24. Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-out Attack (2001) **½

25. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)**1/2

26. Godzilla vs Biollante (1989) **1/2

27. Godzilla Raids Again (1955) **1/2

28. Godzilla 1985 (US version 1985) **1/2

29. Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002) **

30. Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla (1994) **

31. All Monsters Attack (1969) **

32. Invasion of the Astro Monster (1965) **

33. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah (1991) *1/2

34. Godzilla King of the Monsters (1956) *1/2

35. King Kong vs Godzilla (US version 1962) *½

36. Son of Godzilla (1967) *

Did not watch:
Godzilla (1998)
Godzilla Planet of Monsters (2017)
Godzilla City on the Edge of Battle (2018) Godzilla The Planet Eater (2018) 

Go-Go-Godzilla #33: Godzilla vs Kong

Director: Adam Wingard
Year: 2021
Length: 113 minutes

The Gist:
I guess because of the understanding of how the Titans communicate and sense each others' presences, Monarch is protecting Kong on Skull Island within a gigantic dome from alpha Titan Godzilla. Kong isn't stupid though, and he knows his fortress is actually a prison. Dr. Ilene Andrews is Monarch's chief Kong-ologist, and her deaf adopted daughter, Jia, seems to have a special bond with Kong. She's taught him some sign language, but they keep that between them.

Walter Simmons is the megalomaniac head of Apex Cybernetics, a very powerful tech organization. He recruits ex-Monarch researcher and Hollow Earth theorist Dr. Nathan Lind after telling him he's created a  vehicle for safe entry into the centre of the planet but what they need is a Titan to lead them to the gateway.

Using his connections they manage to get to Skull Island and convince Ilene that this mission is a good idea. On the way to the gateway, Godzilla attacks a drugged, dazed, and seemingly depressed Kong. Kong fights valiantly, enough to ward Godzilla off, but it's no victory. To continue on the path they've chose would risk another attack. But tracking Godzilla, they discover a gateway, and airlift Kong there.

They make passage into middle earth where they discover Kong's home territory, seemingly abandoned, but just laced with stones full of a new form of energy.  Unknown to Doctors Andrews and Lind, this is what Walter Simmons was really after. Apex Cybernetics created a giant remote controlled Mecha-Godzilla that uses a hybrid cybernetic mind link between a human host and one of Ghidora's skulls from the previous film to control it, but it needs the raw power of the Hollow Earth to power it.

Godzilla knows that Kong has found a hotbed of power and, from Hong Kong big G revs up his atomic blast and opens up a hole right to Kong's homestead (that's 6000+ KM for reference). Armed with a super-charged axe, Kong makes his way to the surface to battle Godzilla (basically hopping up the tunnel Godzilla just bore into the Earth...all 6000+ KM), and once again finds he's just not a match. Godzilla nearly kills him.

Meanwhile, Simmons is out to prove man is the Apex Predator once more and sets MechaGodzilla out into the wild. It's a brawl, and Godzilla's about to lose, but Nathan uses the HEAV as a defibrillator and revives Kong. Jia explains to resurrected Kong that Godzilla doesn't have to be his enemy, and that he needs help. Kong steps in, and the two decimate Mecha-G in a pretty nice tag-team (Godzilla charging Kong's axe with his atomic breath was just aces). They reach an uneasy truce, an understanding of cohabitation, and go their separate ways.

Oh yeah, Mark and Madison Russell from the last film are in this as well. Madison is obsessed with a Titan-focussed conspiracy podcast run by Bernie Hayes, who works for Apex Cybernetics. Along with Madison's friend Josh, they manage to meet up with Bernie and go on a fruitless and meaningless adventure which culminates in them dumping a flask of whiskey on a computer to give Mecha-Godzilla a moment's pause, which is just enough to make a difference it the big finale.

Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
He's the same Godzilla as previous, a massive force of nature, but we get the sense that he's not *just* a force of nature. That he can think a bit too, and even socialize with others.

The Samesies:
Just like the previous Godzilla eras, the continuity here ain't so tight between the films, especially when you add Monarch: Legacy of Monsters to the mix, it's not easy to fit all the pieces together of what humanity knows about the habits and behaviours of the Titans and Hollow Earth, and when they knew about it.  I'm sure it's all fudge-able, in the same way one has to fudge Star Wars continuity to make it make sense, but it's not all there on the screen.

Like many Godzilla films past, the technology available to mankind has gotten really advanced. There's some heavy investment into "super science" and research infrastructure, even way beyond the previous film. King of the Monsters toes the sci-fi waters, where GvK just jumps right in. It's pretty unapologetic about it, too, which I like a lot.  

Mechagodzilla having a connection to Ghidorah is right out of the Heisei era Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II, as is the idea of Ghidorah taking over the robot from its human controllers.

Like King Kong vs Godzilla, there's lore introduced here that suggests the two beasts have an ancient rivalry. This film goes into it a lot more than the 60's film did, though. 

The Differences:

The Hollow Earth was teased in the previous film and even visited via an underwater portal (which I guess explains why there wasn't all the topsy-turvey-ness others have reported. The reason they don't go back to that gateway is, well, because they blew it up with a nuke.  Anyway, the visit to the Hollow Earth here is very adventuresome and exploratory. It's vibrantly realized and I really dug this sequence.

The HEAV (Hollow Earth Aerial Vehicle?) is not too far off from the Super-X hovering tanks of Toho films past, although these are strictly transportation meant to accommodate the flippidy-doo journey into Hollow Earth. I like the Tron-like light trails it leaves behind in its wake.

I haven't been re-watching Kong films, but doesn't Kong usually have something of a connection with young women? I think this is the first time he's really had a relationship with a child, and maybe the first time he's shown an aptitude for communicating with sign language.

This is the first Godzilla movie to feature a podcaster, and dive into conspiracy theories as they apply to the Monsterverse. Of course, this is the annoying thing where we know more than Bernie does.

Anyone worth caring about?
Oh, so much more to care about than in the previous film. Rebecca Hall as Ilene and Alexander Skarsgard as Nathan are both immediately and infinitely more appealing and likeable than Vera Farmiga and Kyle Chandler. Chandler is still in this film but really tossed into the background, where he should be. Hall, Skarsgard, and Kaylee Hottle (Jia), as well as the Apex and Monarch crews, are all basically team Kong, while Millie Bobbie Brown (returning as Madison), Brian Tyree Henry as Bernie, and Julian Denison as Josh are the largely useless and purposeless team Godzilla but quite likeable. I'm happy to see some of this crew are back in one of two "Empire" movies this March of 2024 in Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (see also Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire).

But, really, the best character in the film is Kong. He's so expressive. He's a big, homesick, lonely boy, with such soulful eyes, and every moment he has with Jia made me just a little, teensy bit weepy.

The Message:
Uh, it's possible to make peace with even your longest-standing enemy? *ahem*

Rating (out of 5 Zs): ZZZ
This isn't a super-smart movie, and it's sense of scale goes all out-of-whack, but boy does it know how to have fun. If there's a big difference between this and King of the Monsters it is exactly that point. The characters in this film are going on a big old ride and despite the peril they may be in, the performers seem to be having fun. It's contagious. 

The Kong v Godzilla fights are very well orchestrated with a LOT of fun little nuances you could never accomplish in suitmation. That's not a dig on the fun of suitmation, but just part of the comparison. CGI frees the filmmakers up to create more expressive creatures, and have more nuanced fights. Not sure the physics always work out in its favour but who cares!? Big dumb fun is supposed to be exactly that.

I just wish Skarsgaard was playing Tarzan in this.

Sleepytime Factor:
I did have a brief little headbob of a nod during the Ghidorah-head discovery or one of the team Godzilla scenes, but I never went right out.

Go-Go-Godzilla #22: Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla

Director: Kensho Yamashita
Year: 1994
Studio: TriStar, Toho Pictures
Length: 106 minutes

The Creature's' Story:

Godzilla just hanging out in ocean, living life. Then big dumb crystal meteorite crash and disturb Godzilla's Godzilla time.
Next thing Godzilla know, Baby G cries, which Godzilla guess means it daddy duty to go see what up. What shit? Pink tear gas? Stupid humans and their stinging projectiles. Why do Godzilla even bother. But, what hell? A...SpaceGodzilla? And SpaceGodzilla have whole terrain of canker sores festering about the island with pulsating crystal teeth. Godzilla don't like this. Baby G clearly afraid of SpaceG. SpaceG attack Baby G which piss Godzilla off royally (Godzilla always pissed off royally, because Godzilla=King of the Monsters). Godzilla use body as shield to protect Baby G, but SpaceG has crazy space lightning attack that hurt so bad and knock Godzilla to ground. Baby G taken and captured in crystal, like got sent to Phantom Zone or something.

Godzilla defeated. Fuck this shit, Godzilla go home, eat metric ton of Hagendaas.

While later, after Godzilla spill many tears for Baby G while eating tankerful of rum raisin, SpaceG returns , building a crystal fortress around himself but Godzilla know in order to defeat SpaceG, he need destroy crystals. SpaceG have swirly twirly lazer breath that hurts plenty and comes at all angles. Not-Big Metal Beast (aka BaMBi) help Godzilla out. Godzilla destroy tower, and then team up with Not-BaMBi to double attack SpaceG. Then Godzilla do lots of biting to block SpaceG energy. BaMBi do nose dive into SpaceG, help turn tides. Godzilla level up atomic blast somehow. How? Who care. Not Godzilla. Just roast that SpaceG, turn to dust. 

But where Baby G? Fuck this shit, Godzilla go home, eat metric ton of Hagendaas.

The Human Story:
A crystalline asteroid hurtles through space, crashing on Monster Island. It creates pulsating crystalline maws that pulsate, sending lighting signals into the sky to attract SpaceGodzilla.

Project M is building the "ultimate Godzilla weapon", the M.O.G.U.E.R.A., which looks like it was reconstructed from Mechagodzilla.

Miki the psychic girl is asked to be part of Project T (for Telepathy) which endeavours to mount a unit on Godzilla's head so Miki, using her powers, can control him. She's reticent. But the committee in charge will otherwise employ one of her younger students from the ESP school, and the alternative is Project G, which seeks to destroy Godzilla. Also, Miki got a new haircut.

Miki, taking a breather, senses Mothra in space (if you will recall when Mothra got Poochied two films ago). She receives a message from the Cosmos twins. A terrible space creature has been sent to kill Godzilla to make it easier to conquer the earth.

G-Force agents Goji and Kiyo take a cruise ship, only to jump off in a speed boat to Monster Island where the rendes-vous with Crocodile Dundee-esque tough guy Yuki, who in turn introduces them to Baby Godzilla who follows him around like a puppy (Baby G has grown since last film, but also been extra-cutened, but not to too offensive a level). They don't know why they're there. Yuki has them planting tear gas mines. He shows them a special bullet he's made with a special coagulant that will kill Godzilla, but Goji and Kiyo are part of Project T and won't help to kill big G. Miki and her employers at Project T come and join them. Miki bonds with Baby G. But poor Baby G trips all of Yuki's tear gas mines. Its cries wake Godzilla. Time for Project T to plant its telepathic receiver. (Slow moving stakes as Yuko at the same time tries to fire his coagulant bullet into Godzilla's armpit).

G-Force meets with NASA who show a horrifying (in quality) video of ISS crew being attacked by some sort of crystal monster. Soaring through space towards earth now is SpaceGodzilla. The M.O.G.U.E.R.A. is sent into space to meet SpaceGodzilla, but their fight in the middle of an asteroid field doesn't go well for the M.O.G.U.E.R.A. team at all and Space Godzilla arrives.

Baby G goes out to meet the new creature but it doesn't greet him back and Baby G is frightened, then attacked by SpaceG's crystal lightning. Godzilla intervenes before Space G can kill Baby G.  But Baby G is captured anyway in one of Space G's crystal maws. Godzilla defeated, returns to the ocean, while SpaceG flies off.

Yuki and the Project T team leave after Project T is a failure, but Goji and Kiyo decide to stay back with Miki. Miki, after another wardrobe change, receives a telepathic pep talk from space Mothra. Goji puts the moves on Miki, but she's mad at him because he doesn't understand Godzilla like she does.

We learn that either Biollante or Mothra carried Godzilla DNA into space then fell into a black hole and was pushed out in a white hole, assimilating crystal organisms, and absorbing incredible energy, thus Space Godzilla was born.

In the middle of the night, the trio are attacked and Miki is taken by the Japanese Mafia (what?). Yuki, Goji and Kiyo somehow knew exactly where to look for her and they attempt a break in of their stronghold, where, it turns out, one of the Project T members is thirsting for power, but Project T still doesn't work. G-Force do a raid and rescue Miki in a completely extraneous time-filling subplot.

Space Godzilla heads towards Tokyo, and a rebuilt M.O.G.U.E.R.A. is ready to go with Yuki, Goji and Kiyo in the pilot seat, but not before Fukuoka City is destroyed by towering crystal spikes rising out of the ground. Godzilla's on his way too, but G-Force attacks Godzilla? They're no real impediment. Even Yuki takes control of M.O.G.U.E.R.A. and attacks Godzilla, but Goji overpowers him and knocks him out.  They take control and engage Space Godzilla with everything they've got, including M.O.G.U.E.R.A.'s drill noees which they bury in SpaceG's neck. But just as with the beta M.O.G.U.E.R.A. failed engagement in space, the new M.O.G.U.E.R.A.'s no match.

It's up to Godzilla now. The G-Force see that Godzilla is destroying the crystal structures, and Koji decides to split M.O.G.U.E.R.A. into two - a flying tank and a ground drill tank that can burrow- and take out the tower structure that Space G is using to amplify his power or something. They reform after the tower is destroyed and help Godzilla attack Space G. But after M.O.G.U.E.R.A. is destroyed Yuki takes one of his coagulant bullets in a rocket launcher and takes aim at Space Godzilla but Godzilla interferes in his shot. He pilots Mogera on a suicide dash into Space G. It's enough to turn the tides for Godzilla.

Yuki rescues Koji (with a little ESP help from Miki) and everyone reunites. Miki gets a thank you from the Cosmos and space Mothra. Miki then shows Yuki that Baby G is safe and learning to spit sparks, while Godzilla wades off in the distance.

Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
Actually friend, but treated like foe

The Sounds:
Takayuki Hattori's score hits its first big note when it plays with the strings formation from "You Only Live Twice" (they thought we wouldn't notice...) as Koji and Kiyo venture to the island, after which there's some good percussive, tropical beats once they arrive. The film goes for a semi-military march whenever M.O.G.U.E.R.A. is on screen but it's less egregiously "american" in it's composition than past type marches that grate on my nerves. Also, there's very limited use of the original Godzilla theme, mercifully, and much less rehashing of familiar scores, which is a welcome reprieve in the Heisei era.

The Message:
Uh... love heals us from wanting to kill giant monsters?

Rating (out of 5 Zs): ZZ
The fighting is pretty stiff and clunky. The dynamic movement of the performers and camerawork seen in Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II is not really here. There's not much physical contact between the suitmation performers.  Plus, holding true to form, any flying in the Heisi era is entirely too rigid. It just tends to be static miniature figures swooping or brushing past each other with sparks or explosions set off to give the impression of some sort of action. 

The romantic sub plots here are poorly executed and feel tacked on. There's zero chemistry between any of the couplings here. 

Yuki's hate-on for Godzilla is well-portrayed by Akira Emoto, a hilarious last name, given how little he emotes, as he has the stonest of stone faces. There are some pretty incredible sets constructed, particularly in the extensively battle damaged Fukuoka where the humans wade through on rescue missions while Godzilla and SpaceG duke it out. This film does feature some incredible scenes that composite of miniatures, suitmation and live action all together.  I could stare at those all day and they really do beat out CGI for visceral tactileness. 

 I like that Miki the psychic girl is put fairly close to center of the story here but there's still no real characterization for her and she still doesn't really get much of a story arc. Her powers do level up though.