1-1-1: K.E.T.C.H.U.P.

Kent's Erratic TV Critiquing Has Unveiled a Problem.
He just can't catch up.

This time:

Big Mouth Season 7 - Netflix [10 Episodes]

What We Do In The Shadows Season 5 - FX [10 Episodes]

How To With John Wilson Season 3 - HBO [6 Episodes]

Only Murders in the Building Season 3 - Disney+ [10 Episodes]

The Bear Season 2 - Disney+ [10 Episodes]

The Afterparty Season 2 - Apple [10 Episodes] 

Loki Season 2 - Disney+ [6 Episodes]

Our Flag Means Death Season 2 - HBO [8 Episodes]

Shoresy Season2 - Crave [6 Episodes]

Light & Magic - Disney+ [6 Episodes]

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Big Mouth Season 7 - Netflix [10 Episodes]

The What 100:  The Big Mouth kids are about to graduate from grade 8 and go to high school... except maybe Jay, who's too preoccupied with Lola dating his brother. Coach Steve suffers separation anxiety and teaches summer school. Andrew hurts his nuts and can't do his favourite thing, much to Maury's dismay, but his personality turns around, and he finally receives his father's love. Nick does drugs in New York and is sent to private school. Jesse gets a bully, and becomes part of the in crowd. Matthew has to up his gay-A-game.

1 Great: The hormone monsters never fail to yield big laughs, but it's absolutely Thandiwe Newton's season as Mona, Missy's hormone mistress that leaves the biggest impression...even in a season when Megan Thee Stallion makes a multi-episode appearance.  Newton's commitment and enthusiasm is just next level and delivers every time.

1 Good: I love the show's commitment to diversity, in every form. Sexuality, gender, race, religion, ethnicity, neurodiversity, it doesn't pick any lane, it keeps crossing over. Putting a spotlight episode on on-the-spectrum Caleb, is done with thoughtfulness, sensitivity and humour. You can tell they go to great depths to both get things right and still find humour that is inclusive.  The stab at an international episode finds 3-5 minute vignettes of horny pre-teens around the world and seems pretty authentic, but the very short stories run the risk of painting whole cultures with a single brush.

1 Bad: If the show is starting to lag anywhere, it's actually in its two lead characters. Nicky, Nick Krolls primary character, is, at this point, the most drab character on the show, running through the usual heteronormative dating scenarios and emotions.  With everything else going on around him, his escapades just seem so route one.  John Mulaney's Andrew, meanwhile, is probably the most prominent character on the show, but he's also the most difficult to watch. He is the show's bottom rung, the one place where, in a show that accepts and celebrates peoples sexual desires, and seems to go to great lengths to not kink shame anyone, it can just point and say "not that, though". After 7 seasons of "not that though" one would hope for some growth, but with Andrew, every step forward is a stumble that winds up five steps sideways. 

To be clear, Nick and Andrew aren't really bad, but if I'm to point at my least favourite thing in a show that has, season after season, made me laugh so freaking hard and challenged me with my own hang-ups with limits pushing, it's really these two that don't enthuse me as much anymore.

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What We Do In The Shadows Season 5 - FX [10 Episodes]

The What 100: Much of the season revolves around Guillermo hiding the fact that he got turned from Nandor, for the embarrassment of a familiar being turned by someone other than his vampire master would be so great that the vampire would have to kill both the familiar and himself.  But the vampirism isn't taking like it normally should, so Laszlo conducts experiments to try and science it out. Nadja connects with the local Antipaxos society on Long Island.  Colin Robinson runs for local office, and reconnects with Evie. 

1 Great: I thought putting Harvey Guillen as the center of the season was a brilliant move, as Guillermo was often the straight man in the prior seasons, but he's the most suited to be audience surrogate. Everyone else is just too weird. Guillen more than steps up, he crushes it, bringing his performance to another level without materially changing his character's nature.

1 Good: The visceral shock of Laszlo's experiments gone awry: the Guillermo clones. 

1 Bad: Kristen Schaal is promoted to cast member in the opening credits this season and is barely used at all. Likewise, it seemed like Matt Berry was taking a back seat most of the season.

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How To With John Wilson Season 3 - HBO [6 Episodes]

The What 100:  John learns us how to: find a public restroom, clean our ears, work out, watch "the game", watch birds, and track our packages. It's another brilliant 6 episodes of video collage, surreal visual poetry, and thematic ideas juxtaposed with the serious oddness of reality.

1 Great: John's exploration of how things get from one destination to another takes him from the doorsteps of New York, exposing the massive problem of package theft, to learning how a piano is packed up and shipped, to learning how people are packed up and shipped to the future via cryogenics. It's a wild, upsetting ride. 

1 Good: (but also great) John looks to take up the art of birdwatching, which leads him to explore the idea of surveillance, which sends him down a rabbit hole of what is "truth" in video, exposing his own role in deceiving the audience. This leads him down a couple of conspiracy wells, to spending time with a Titanic conspiracy theorist/ex-cop, and ultimately...attempted murder?

1 Bad: This is the last season of How To... and it makes me very, very sad. This is one of the most unique shows ever made, looking at and venturing out into the world from such a different perspective. It's a show (and a guy) that's both awkward and curious about what's just outside our peripheral vision...what aren't we looking at?  It's not trying to provide answers (it's just a comedy show) but in just raising the questions, exploring it in the way that he does, it's pretty illuminating.  I'm going to miss it, but Wilson is on the radar.

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Only Murders in the Building Season 3 - Disney+ [10 Episodes]

The What 100:  Oliver finally is directing a play again only for his lead, a huge superhero franchise star (played by Paul Rudd) to be murdered, dying on stage. The stress of trying to solve another murder while save his dream is too much and Oliver suffers a heart attack. Charles, meanwhile, has to sing on stage and gets engaged,  the stress of either sends him to the white room. Mabel is about to be evicted from the titular building, and finds with her septuagenarian besties so preoccupied with their lives she's left to running the podcast on her own...only she finds a new partner.

1 Great:  Despite not believing that Oliver is capable of writing a musical on his own, Death Rattle The Musical seems at once utterly inane and absolutely something I would enjoy seeing.  The patter song that Charles has to sing, which features prominently in the season, is pretty damn catchy and earwormy. As well the whole stage/backstage setting is a great place for a murder mystery (and the show connects it back to "the building" in pretty shocking and hilarious fashion. The mystery this season really worked well.

1 Good: I find myself transfixed by Selena Gomez every time she's on screen. I sometimes can't tell if she's acting badly or beautifully, but regardless, whatever it is she does, it's captivating.  She's such a specific performer, and acts and moves in such a specific manner that any role she does she has to make her own, but I think it may be hard for writers to play into her persona, because it's so hard to pin down. She's dry and reserved, but bright and charismatic.  She's very internalized, but also open.  Gomez sells us on a millennial who is best friends with a couple of boomers.

1 Bad: This season was very bad at exploring the impact of the show's events on the character. Mabel, particularly seemed unmoored, without a true storyline to call her own.  She was the primary investigator in the murder, sure, but with the talk of moving out, with the podcast shenanigans, with the new boyfriend, none of it seemed to have focus for her.  For Charles, he gets engaged and then something happens and it's over and it seems to have almost no impact on him. Similarly, the show seemed to forget that Oliver's heart attack had any meaningful impact on him.  The story of the season was really intriguing but it kind of let the characters down.  Bringing in big name distractions (Meryl Streep was good, but she can't NOT be good, but she's also distracting;  Matthew Broderick was only distracting; Paul Rudd was maybe TOO Paul Rudd for the role that perhaps needed a bit more of a straight man).

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The Bear Season 2 - Disney+ [10 Episodes]

The What 100: This is one of the most incredible seasons of television ever. As the crew toil on renovating the restaurant, the stakes escalating for each of them, they must also develop new skills and new attitudes if they're going to make it work.

1 Great: "Forks". Cousin Richie goes off to train at another restaurant for a month where he has to start at the bottom polishing forks. Richie has been the most difficult and antagonistic character of the series. He's an obstacle that every character in the show has to navigate because it seems he's always trying to stop things from changing. This episode is the Richie spotlight, where we get insight into who he is as a person (with little hints at his life dropped earlier in the season). This is the episode where Richie finds himself, and finds purpose, and decides to no longer be the obstacle, but the conveyor, the path that helps keep things moving, and it's freaking beautiful to see such transformation happen. Gorgeous work from Ebon Moss-Bachrach, and a magnificent surprise Olivia Coleman appearance.  

1 Great: "Fishes". Heading back a half dozen years or so to Christmas dinner at the Berzatto family home, where Carmy makes an appearance after having effectively disappeared from their lives for some time. It's a frantic 66 minutes of too many cooks, family tension, and some deep, deep insight into why the siblings (Carmy, Natalie and Michael) are the way they are, and by extension, why the kitchen of Chicago Original Beef that Michael established was so unruly when Carmy came along. 

It all comes back to mom. 

And holy shit, if people didn't think Jamie Lee Curtis deserved that Oscar before (I don't know who those people are, but if they exist...), well, she smashes scalding hot yam in their face with this one.  It's one of the best performances ever.  I don't know Curtis' exposure to bipolar disorder but she seems to have a keen understanding of what it looks like and how to convey it. She's an absolute juggernaut, but it's not a selfish performance at all... it's the performance of selfishness, sure, but she's is fuelling every scene, giving the other performers everything they need, creating an energy that fills the whole household, and it's as toxic as carbon monoxide.  It's beautiful chaos. It's like within minutes of being with Curtis' Donna, suddenly the whole world of The Bear comes in to clear focus. I get it now.

1 Great: Good gravy, this cast is awesome, and much credit to the showrunner Christopher Storer for recognizing that each of these characters deserves a spotlight. Of course Jeremy Allen White's Carmy and Ayo Edibiri's Sydney are the duelling forces of the show, fighting one another yet seemingly needlessly as they're trying to reach the same objective. But it's giving Richie, or Liza Colón-Zayas's Tina or Lionel Boyce's Marcus their own side journey in culinary education that provides both insight into that world but also fantastic character growth.  So many shows want to keep their characters  contained in a box, because the reality is that if characters grow, then they grow apart, and that's death for a situational tv programme. This show dares to grow their characters, and to show the dangers of what not growing can mean, (talking to you Carm).

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The Afterparty Season 2 - Apple [10 Episodes] 

The What 100: Aniq accompanies Zoe to her sister's wedding at the groom's family estate, meeting her parents for the first time, looking to gain their blessing in asking her to marry him. But Aniq's plans are interrupted when the groom winds up dead in bed the morning after the ceremony.  The groom's mother locks down the estate but refuses to call the police, so Aniq calls ex-detective Danner in to help solve the case.

1 Great: The pastiches were so on point, from the rom com sequel, to the Austin-esque period romantic drama, to hard-boiled noir, to the series high point of a mock Wes Anderson production. Nobody does Wes Anderson like Wes Anderson. And people who try to do Wes Anderson generally fail at doing Wes Anderson. It's hard to do. That's what having a singular specific vision gets you.  But the episode "Hannah" gets the closest to Anderson in style that I've seen, and it's because they balance the framing and colour palette so beautifully with Anderson's sense of humour but also pathos.  After this, the heist movie, the erotic thriller, the epic romantic drama just can't quite hold up to the same heights of ambition, but they still fare pretty excellently.  Episode 9's Hitchcock-esque neo-noir thriller with Christopher Miller in the director seat does come close to being as inspired. 

1 Good: This second season actually improved upon the first season, still adhering to the conceit of each episode being a pastiche of a specific genre or style, but in having a cast of characters that are so intimately bonded (as opposed to last season's high school reunion of characters who don't really know each other at all) it creates an intimacy and familiarity that's far more engaging to explore, and makes secrets that much more shocking when they come to light.  We binged this season voraciously.

1 Bad: As the season goes on, there becomes a burden of storytelling  that -- as with the first series -- starts interrupting the pastiche and breaks the sort of visual narrative. It's not awful, but I'm always kind of sad when we cut away from the homage and into what the rest of the cast is doing.  I don't think they've perfected the conceit of the show by any means but you can see the growth.

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Loki Season 2 - Disney+ [6 Episodes]

The What 100: With the death of He Who Remains last season, the timelines are branching out of control, and if the TVA can't contain the branching, everything...literally everything... could be destroyed. Loki, who has manifested "timeslipping" powers that he can't control, is doing everything he can to save the one place and the people who gave him a chance to be something other than what was expected of him.

1 Great: The first four episodes of this six-episode season kind of put the titular character to the side. Loki was there, but he was part of the gang. The show seemed to be focussed on the situation that Loki season one created, and not the character of Loki so much. Sure, Sylvie and Mobius and Renslayer were getting some new dimension to them, but it seemed at the expense of developing Loki, beyond turning him into a Doctor Who-esque rallyer of doing the right thing in timey-wimey adventures.  

Episodes 5 & 6, though... it was ALL Loki. Everything that came before, not just this season, but the prior season as well, was building to these two episodes of exploring this Loki variant: who he was, who he is, and what he wants to become. Head writer Eric Martin has his name on every script, and this singular driving voice creates a consistency and focus in this season that other 6-episode Marvel series are missing. All of what happens isn't to build to some future Marvel event (at least not obviously) but instead to a rather monumental change in the character of Loki from when we first met him in Thor over a decade ago.  Martin drops little nuggets hinting as to where he's going with it all throughout the season and then goes there. It's so satisfying to see a Marvel thing build to something and finally stick the landing again. It feels like most of the Disney+ series have failed in this regard.

[Also great: Natalie Holt's compositions for this series have been phenomenal. She's produced, I think, the best soundtrack to an MCU production besides Black Panther. Just outstanding, memorable work.]

1 Good: Loki season 2 seems to have been granted permission to disconnect itself from the MCU at large and just do its own thing. It's not setting anything (obvious) up, and it's not taking detours and sidetracks into spaces just for fan service.  This season establishes a tone and it persists for 6 episodes in a row. It knows the kind of story it wants to tell, it know the journey it wants to take its characters, and it delivers.  With a consistent voice on the script and Benson and Moorehead directing 4 of the 6 episodes, there's a stability to this season that makes it feel pretty grand in scope.  And also, as a fan of Benson and Moorehead's films, this series seems so utterly in their wheelhouse, a true part of their filmography that carries their signature and not just work-for-hire like their Moon Knight episodes.

1 Bad: Sigh. Jonathan Majors. He's a great actor. He's acting great here. Why can't he act great in his real life. Such a bummer.

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Our Flag Means Death Season 2 - HBO [8 Episodes]

The What 100: When last we left Steed (the Gentleman Pirate) and Ed (Blackbeard), Steed had realized he made a mistake trying to return to his old life, while Ed could think of no other option but to return to his savage ways.  In fact, heartbroken, he's gotten even more violent and ruthless than before. After Ed almost kills him, Izzy joins Steeds crew. A truce is formed with Spanish Jackie. The crew face off against Zhang Yi Sao, the Pirate Queen, who takes a shining to Oluwande. Lucius and Black Pete reunite.

1 Great:  From the Thor: Ragnarok/Jojo Rabbit era, Taika Waititi got really, really overexposed. He was asked to do a lot, and he did a lot, and he became a very public figure for a time. Then he made Thor: Love and Thunder, the only Marvel movie I kind of despise, and I wondered if a 10+ year affinity for the creator had disappeared altogether.  Recently, I realized I hadn't seen much of Waititi, he'd certainly scaled back how much of himself he was putting out there.  I realized I loved, and respected that Waititi has had his hands in two very different, very remarkable series, but that his influence (despite what I've said previously) has been primarily in using his notoriety to get the shows made and hand them over to their true visionaries. For Reservation Dogs it was Sterlin Harjo's baby that Waititi was just in the delivery room for.  For Our Flag Means Death, it's definitely David Jenkins' queer pirate child, to which Waititi just plays funcle to.  

Playing Blackbeard/Ed in Our Flag, Waititi delivers a remarkable performance that wavers from maniacally bloodthirsty, to scarily unpredictable, to genuine paramour of Rhys Darby's Steed Bonnett. I'm not sure I always buy Darby's romantic connection to Ed, but Waititi sells the highs and lows of romantic tumult, while the show also examines Blackbeard's psyche and why he is so broken emotionally.  It's a surprising, remarkable performance that evolves each episode.

 

1 Good: The show juggles its cast this season, dispensing with some crew members (thank god Nat Faxon's The Swede has limited screen time this season) and putting a spotlight on others. It's a pretty large cast for a series with such short seasons and it cannot do them all justice. But the addition of Rubio Qian and Anapela Polataivao as Zhang Yi Sao and Auntie were two glorious additions this season. Qian is an effortlessly charming performer and eminently likeable, even when she's being vicious and cunning. She has swagger, intelligence, and a vulnerability that she seems in complete control of. Auntie as her number one shows a very different parental relationship of a notorious pirate and their mentor than what Blackbeard and Izzy had and it's really quite sweet.

1 Bad: The show's episode order for season 2 was two less than season 1. It felt like the Ricky Banes storyline, of minor noble who becomes a pirate inspired by Blackbeard, only to be shamed and shunned by the pirate community. He unites with the British navy to utterly dismantle piracy altogether, but if there were supposed to be any lasting parallels between he and Steed, or if there was supposed to be a building of his threat leading to a big climax, it's more of a sizzle in the end.

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Shoresy Season2 - Crave [6 Episodes]

The What 100: Shoresy has promised the Sudbury Bulldog's owner to "never lose again", and so he's on a mission to keep that promise. The team, however, has problems threatening to get in the way of that mission. Like all the sex they're having is tiring them out too quick on the ice. Or scoring champ JJ Frankie JJ has lost his focus because his true love caught him cheating. And the Jim's are distracted because their Reach for the Top team has been losing. And Michaels is down about some bullshit nobody cares about. And the boys do a calendar.

1 Great: Shoresy was one of, if not the most annoying side character on Letterkenny.  He was an off-screen antagonistic foil to Reilley and Jonesy on that show, and not really even a fleshed out character. To me it was a dicey proposition spinning him out into his own series, but to Jared Keeso's credit, he has really managed to create a surprisingly likeable and watchable if challenging and often out-of-line lead that I enjoy watching.  The final episode of the season gives a rather sharply written, insightful moment into Shoresy as a character, and why he plays so hard, and works so hard to support the team. The basic point being that his mindset is one that only works on the ice, and makes the real world one that's difficult for him to live in. 

1 Good: It's easy to pander to Canadians, it's hard to do it subtly. As with Letterkenny, Shoresy wears its Canadian pride on its ugly poop brown and baby blue jersey sleeve. The best extended joke was the incremental rage on Shoresy's face as the team is hosted by the American Sault Ste. Marie team and to perform the national anthem is a 10-year-old learning to play the recorder.  There's two jokes there, the first being the obvious Americans goading the Canadians, but also butchering the national anthem on a recorder is a right of passage for every Canadian in grade school.

1 Bad: I was never a jock and certainly not a hockey player, and the behind-the-scenes on masculine sports teams has never been a realm I'm comfortable with, eager to experience, nor particularly enjoy. Toxic seems like a gentle word for what goes on back there. So it shouldn't be surprising to me that I bristle, often, at the language and tone that comes out of this comedy. Like Keeso's other show, Shoresy's gender and sexual politics are kind of progressive but in a rudimentary way.  In dealing with hicks and hockey players, it is surprising when they are portrayed as open-minded, accepting even, but when shades of conservative thinking crop up, is it a result of honestly portraying the field the show is playing in, or is it the creators exposing that they're still not as far along as they'd like us to believe.  When the show regresses into leering shots of lingerie clad women, I have to wonder what relevance it has on the story at hand, or if it's just some Sudbury woman Keeso met at a bar and has convinced to take her clothes off on camera.  

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Light & Magic - Disney+ [6 Episodes]

The What 100: A look behind the curtain of 40+ years of Industrial Light and Magic.

1 Great: The first two episodes focus on the people behind the scenes who made the stunning visuals of Star Wars happen, and how they did it. The sheer volume of creativity on display is outstanding. As a lifelong Star Wars nerd, I thought I had seen and read all of the behind-the-scenes making-of Star Wars had to offer, and it turns out I hadn't even scratched the surface. Even this documentary seems to be constrained by the episodic structure into how much we actually get to see, but all of it is awesome.  John Dykstra, Phil Tippet, Joe Johnson, Dennis Muren and more are given celebrity documentary treatment here, glorifying their contributions to not just Star Wars, not even just cinema, but culture in general.

1 Good: The second two episodes focus on creating sequels to Star Wars, but also the start of the dissolution of the original gang. As ILM is formalized, and moves out of LA, not everyone is asked to join them. In these two episodes, which span the about a half decade from Star Wars's debut, the leaps in technology that George Lucas pushes on the team are pretty incredible. I didn't know almost anything about what ILM had innovated over the years, and it turns out it was a lot, including what eventually becomes Photoshop and Pixar, among other things. 

1 Bad: The final two episodes, step away from Star Wars, and then right back into it, as the entire culture of ILM shifts underneath the feet of the men and women who started it. Rapidly the drive is digital, and the genius creative forces behind physical props and visual effects are more and more diminished in terms of importance and contribution. What made ILM so captivating in the first two episodes -- a massive warehouse of individuals experimenting with scale, cameras, technology, and hand craftsmanship -- gives way to largely people sitting at computers clicking buttons.  The show pretends to maintain the same enthusiasm for what ILM is today, as a primarily digital company, as it had for what was done back in the 1970s, but there's just no denying that the physical stuff was far more interesting, the creative problem solving much more enriching, and the people so much livelier.

Double Dose of DeBose

(Double Dose is two films from the same director, writer or star...or genre or theme...pretty simple.  Today:  grieving people becoming vigilantes, but in a non-superhero-origin or action movie capacity) 

West Side Story (2021) d. Steven Spielberg - D+
Schmigadoon! (2021) d. Barry Sonnenfeld - AppleTV+ (created by Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio)

What it just might come down to is I don't like musicals. I never thought I disliked musicals. Although I've never been much of a purveyor of them, I always thought myself open to them. I mean I quite like an animated musical... well, sometimes.  I loved Encanto, and just thinking about it makes me desperately want to rewach the Triplettes of Belleville, but yeah...I mean, I turned off La La Land after less than an hour and have no compulsion to go back. But that's La La Land...like, whatever, right? I mean, I bounce along joyfully to "Rogers:The Musical" in the post-credits of Hawkeye.

I've seen a bunch of stage musicals and yeah I've generally liked those experiences, and even film versions (or, well, Hamilton) still are energizing. But this West Side Story, I dunno, it just didn't move me.

Right, yeah, I started watching this on my phone. I picture Spielberg, sitting in his mansion pondering Indiana Jones, starting to suddenly cry inexplicably. I'm sure it happens every time someone presses play on on West Side Story on their phone. But instantly I could tell this was shot for the big screen, and no other presentation will really do. The second thing I noticed was the colours...good god the colours. I haven't seen a movie shot this vividly in...I don't recall the last film that was this vibrant that wasn't a cartoon. Even on my phone, prepping dinner, (oh yeah, that too, the movie didn't even have my full attention on my phone...Spielberg just uncontrollably sobs) I was wowed... just stunned by the visuals and production values. This looked great...better than great, outstanding, dazzling, beautiful.

I got through the first hour before dinner was ready. I was really enjoying the eye candy, but I was having a very, very hard time investing in the film, a film whose structure has been cliche for hundreds of years and whose exact story has been cliche for another 60. Sure, Tony Kushner brings some modern, progressively-aware sensibilities to some (but not all) of the story, but Spielberg, I think, can't let go of his fondness for how the original was told and so it all still feels so....staged, and stagey.

The songs, the singing and the dancing, while technically proficient, feel dated. Everything feels dated. It's a period piece, but it shouldn't feel of the period. But maybe that's just my lack of experience with musicals. Does this happen in all of them? Should the fight scenes still feel like dance numbers? Isn't fight choreography the new cinematic dancing?

I don't know West Side Story intimately. I get the sense that Spielberg and Kushner admirably bolstered the Puerto Rican contingent of the story (not subtitling the Spanish was a great choice), and deepened the resonance of systemic, inbred, American racism. But in that, the sympathies for the Jets is almost nil (as it probably should be), but it leaves for a love story that just sets your teeth on edge. Tony is bad news Maria... just run.

This film doesn't work for me, but I think much of it comes down to how little experience I have with cinematic musicals and how perhaps they just haven't evolved in a way that I've learned to appreciate.

What I did appreciate was the scene composition, the sets, the costuming, the lighting... all the technical elements working in precision with one another and it all looks fantastic.  I also appreciated the performances. Rachel Zegler as Maria is explosive, just a powerhouse who contains and incredible voice in her petite frame.  She's captivating and handles hope, sadness, affection, anger, adoration...basically any emotion asked of her, magnificently.  She is absolutely magnetic in her first on screen performance.

Comparatively Ansel Elgort, putting his very public personal problems aside, doesn't quite have the same charisma.  He's not completely devoid, but I don't feel a much affection towards that character, and Elgort has difficulty selling the uncontrollably-in-love element of Tony.  He is quite good at selling the need to escape the life that put him in prison for a year (it's almost the same requirement as Baby Driver, but that's my only other familiarity with him, so I may just be conflating the two), but I don't ever really get the simmering danger underneath that I think this character is supposed to have.  Tony *could* have depth, but there's not enough time to explore it (this whole story takes place in just over a day and a half).

Mike Faist as Riff is fantastic, his high-pitched nasal 50's greaser tough guy act is so very full of menace instead of the cliched cartoon which that kind of role is usually delivered.  He really pops in the way you  think Elgort should, but doesn't.

Rita Moreno is back, subbing in for Doc as his widow, and she gets the only moment that actually did move me, a solo performance that contains the soulfulness of a performer with over 70 years experience under her belt and in full control of every moment of her song.

But I figure we should talk Ariana DeBose since I did name this post after her (mostly because it sounded cute in it's rhyme, and not necessarily because I intended to focus on her to any great degree).  DeBose has, like Moreno before her, received an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress this year for her role as Anita.  After appearing as a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance, DeBose she quickly graduated from regional and touring theatre to Broadway in increasingly prominent roles, landing the title role in Summer: The Donna Summer Musical in 2018.  

Now, I have no first hand experience with any of this history.  She had a short stint in the original ensemble for Hamilton (and returned for the Disney recording of it), but she doesn't have any breakout moments there.  No, my first experience with DeBose was earlier this year when she hosted Saturday Night Live.  It's rare for SNL to bring on a host who doesn't have name recognition, and in the cases where it's someone I don't know, it's typically a sports figure. By bringing her on as host, SNL was effectively saying that, based on her performance in West Side Story, she was someone ready to become a star.

Now, SNL has long passed its king-maker days.  It's producing a lot of talent who go on to do modestly successful projects (which is a step up from fading into obscurity), but it hasn't made a Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy or Will Ferrell in quite some time.  The show itself is, week to week, pretty middle of the road, each episode usually having highs and lows, but the sketch highs are rarely that high anymore, and tend to be just as forgettable as the low sketches.  What does tend to transcend are performances, and DeBose put in one of the best hosting performances in the past decade.  She was just so game, enthusiastic, and energetic.  She brought her decade of live theatre experience to live sketch and, somehow, at worst, matched, but usually exceeded the ensemble of live sketch performers at their own game.  It's not like she was funnier, but her energy levels were vastly different from practically every other host in recent memory.  

DeBose has a wide, toothy, infectious smile and an spark in her brown eyes that only a special few lifelong stage performers have, a raw energy that seems to come from an endless well, backed up with both singing and dancing aptitude that she can put it all into.

But I don't think DeBose got SNL randomly.  She worked with current cast member Cecily Strong on the 2021 AppleTV+ mini-series Schmigadoon!, which, if it wasn't obvious, is specifically a play on the musical Brigadoon.  The mini-series was produced by SNL's Lorne Michaels, so it's almost a guarantee that Michaels took notice of DeBose on that production, and then, noting her star-making turn in West Side Story, found the opportunity to promote her as a host.

I'm not familiar with Brigadoon, but a quick synopsis of it notes that two American tourists stumble upon the mythical Scottish town of Brigadoon which only appears once every 100 years.  This isn't a direct lampooning of that musical, but borrows from it (as well as many of the tropes from '40's and '50's-produced musicals...most of which I'm also largely unfamiliar with.  

In Schmigadoon!, we follow Melissa and Josh (Cecily Strong and Keegan Michael Key), first through their meet cute three years earlier, then to their modern day as a stuck-in-a-rut couple, potentially at odds, taking a group camping trip that further cements their divide, only to get lost in the fog and encounter Schmigadoon, a quaint village of group singing and dancing that is inescapable.  They come to learn that it's got very "old-fashioned values" around the roles of men and women, and really backwards perceptions of how people should behave.  Most of this is policed by the staunchly conservative, pursed-lipped Mildred (Kristin Chenowith, naturally) whose gang of town elders ensure that nothing ever changes.

To leave this unbelievably backwards community, Melissa and Josh need to find true love, which is hard considering the fractured nature of their relationship.  Before the first night is through, they've broken up, and their subsequent days are spent very differently.  Josh is solely focussed on getting out, finding his true love by checking with every woman in town, including the school marm, played by DeBose, who wants no part of Josh initially, and more than anything dreams of a different life that Schmigadoon can't give her. Meanwhile Melissa instead bares down and tries to affect some positive change in this brutally repressed environment, encouraging the town's closeted mayor to be true to himself, teaching an elderly couple sex positivity, and practicing medicine as a woman.

It's a definite vehicle for Strong who hasn't had much of a spotlight outside of her SNL work, and she is an enjoyable presence.  We know from her sketch comedy that she can sing, and she is an versatile actress as well, the dancing seemed to be a bit more tricky for her, but she's game.  Key, on the other hand, refuses to sing or dance, although I've seen him do both on Key and Peele (see Aerobics Meltdown at least for his impressive corrodination), and he leans into the Josh's emotional shut-down as the relationship gets rocky, which is such a guy thing, but he comes around.

Chenowith is always a welcome presence in anything, and never anything short of a delight to watch, even when she's being despicably authoritarian about her backwards "values".  Alan Cummings likewise seems to be having a blast in the Mayor's coming-out story.  Then there's Aaron Tveit as the town's perfectly alright ne'er-do-well, who just can be tamed until Melissa sleeps with him, thinking he's the perfect guy for a rebound one-night-stand, only to have him singing a much different tune in the morning, much to her horror.

Of course DeBose is a very bright spot here, even though her character almost has the most weight underneath her.  Of the main cast she seems the most at home in her role, and her character, and her performance.  She has a seemingly natural ability to make any role feel like they are lived in, that they've lived a life and have much more going on than just what we see and hear them say.  This was my second experience with her, watching Schmigadoon! after her SNL hosting stint (and not even knowing she was in the show) and was very happy to see her. Much like Chenowith, she seems to have the touch that her presence enriches whatever she's in.  I feel like I've been watching her for years, when I've only seen her in three or four performances. 

Schmigadoon! is fully directed by Barry Sonnenfeld who is the master at bringing artifice to life.  The Addams Family movies, Men In Black, The Tick, Pushing Daisies, A Series of Unfortunate Events... all movies or shows that really layer on the facade, living in heightened surrealities that he seems to easily draw you into, rather than keep you at a distance from.  Schmigadoon!, in replicating 40's and 50's musicals aesthetics, looks like a vibrantly coloured set, with painted backdrops and sound stage lighting.  But Sonnenfeld, and the story, all play into it.  First by calling attention to it, acknowledging the artifice, then living within it, having the characters and the audience become habituated to it together.  It surprised me at first to see Sonnenfeld attached but very quickly it made perfect sense.  Plus, in the editing and production, Sonnenfeld opens each episode with a flashback to Melissa and Josh's relationship in the real world over the prior three years, which in the wrong hands could hinder the show, drawing the audience out of the artificiality, but each of these vignettes provides important emotional context for what's happening within the show.

As a musical, it is definitely satirical, poking fun at the tropes from the past.  My lack of knowledge of vintage musicals means I'm missing all the in-jokes and references, but it's not what the show is built on, so it doesn't hinder having a good time.  I really enjoyed this.  It wasn't mind-blowing but it was definitely enjoyable and had an emotional core that was worth investing in.  There were surprises, and plenty of laughs, as well as some really fun songs that feel era-appropriate, winking lyrics included.

So I suppose I'm not anti-musical after all, but I definitely want my musicals to have modern sensibilities, rather than feeling like 2018-era Hallmark movies but with song and dance.

New Year's Countdown...of Excellence: 4 - Do The Right Thing (1980's selection)

4
Do The Right Thing
1989, d. Spike Lee - rental

The Story (in two paragraphs or less)

It's a sweltering hot summer day in NewYork.  The film traverses a block in the neighbourhood of Bed-Stuy over the course of the day, centering primarily around Sal's Famous Pizza, owned and operated by Italian-American Sal (Danny Aiello) and his two sons.  Mookie (Spike Lee) is Sal's delivery guy, with only a mildly contentious relationship with his employer.

The film is largely "a day in the life" of this neighbourhood, with Mookie as our main POV character, traversing its denizens, primarily Black, but also Puerto Rican, the white guy who signals gentrification anxiety, the Korean market owners, Sal and sons, and of course, the police. Most everyone gets along but there are people who have problems, and the attitudes are all very New York, a lot of aggressive, verbal confrontations.  But the heat only seems to be exacerbating the aggression, which spills out late in the evening into a racially charged confrontation.

What did I think I was in for?
Pretty much this, only I think I was expecting it to feel more of its time.  With the exception of a few touches (mainly the opening credits which features Rosie Perez dancing to the Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" in what is basically a music video for the song) this could very well be a contemporary film commenting on modern race relations, just set in 1989.  

What did I get out of it?
While it does sit in the uncomfortableness of race relations in America (in this multicultural microcosm of Bed-Stuy), it's not sermonizing.  Lee crafts a pocket world that, while stylized with its vibrantly painted backdrops, still is grounded in very tangible sentiments.  His street is populated with people with their own thoughts and minds and ways of being.  There's no hive mind here, no singular way of thinking, and everyone seems liberated to speak there mind, no matter what conflict it raises or what wounds they dig.  And yet, there's a sequence which Lee seems to signify that some (and perhaps the few are just stand-ins for the many) of these people are holding something back, mainly their most vilely racist thought and ideas about the people around them. Insinuating that underneath the bumpy, fragile surface, is rage.

The image of Malcolm X and Martin Luthor King, together, smiling, shaking hands, is used throughout the film, as is Radio Rahim's Love/Hate knuckle rings.  The film closes with quotes from both King and X, one condemning violence as a barrier to brotherhood and understanding, the other condoning violence as a method of last resort, as self-defence, at which point it is no longer violence.  This tug of ideologies is exemplified in the climax of the film, following the all-too-familiar choking death of Radio Rahim by the police (30 years later, it's still the same damn story) where a understandably emotional crowd cannot direct their anger at the real perpetrators, systemic racism and the police in power, so Mookie points it at Sal's restaurant.  For him, it is his most direct symbol of systemic oppression, and it becomes the outlet for hate, rage, and grief.

Is there still sympathy for Sal? Who aggrieved Rahim in smashing his radio, prompting the escalation that got Rahim killed?  Sure, but the point here, as was the same point in Black Lives Matter protests in 2020, lives should matter more than property, and yet the property gets attention, gets protection, gets value assigned to it where lives, Black lives, do not.

Do I think it's a classic?
It still feels so of-the-now it's hard (and very sobering) to be believe that it's over 30 years old, but yes, absolutely a classic.  Lee's direction, still in its early form, is so assured.  His in-you-face close-ups and from-the-ground perspective still feels like nothing else.  He only occasionally operates with these techniques today, but they're clearly still his own.

Did I like watching this?
One thing I was expecting, which didn't happen until late in the movie, was that I would feel uncomfortable watching this movie.  I did not feel uncomfortable until I started seeing Rahim being choked by the police, and I started tearing up instantly, knowing exactly where it was going, and knowing that it had nothing to do with George Floyd, Eric Garner or any of the all-too-many other Black men in the news who have been choked to death by the police in recent years, that this shit has been happening for decades, well before Do The Right Thing and well too long after.  Following the death and the destruction of Sal's, life just goes on in the film.  Sal and Mookie even come to terms with each other (and apparently there's little hints in subsequent Lee projects that Mookie's still delivering pizzas for Sal's).  

Would I watch it again?
Absolutely, and I'm kind of pissed with myself that this is the first time I've seen it. 

How To with John Wilson Season 1

2020, HBO - 6 episodes

The Pause, as Toasty calls it, has been a rough, rough time for everyone.  Some have had it very gently rough, while others have gotten very sick or lost loved ones.  There's been a definite mental tax we're all being charged (which some have refused to pay), and it seem the best we can truly do is just sit back, consume various forms of entertainment and try not to worry too much.  Despite production shutdowns, there's been no dearth of content to consume (and even if there was the massive backlog would certainly satiate the need for unseen content), and I've found a lot to enjoy along the way, but I don't know if there's been a whole lot I've been willing to love.  But I love How To with John Wilson.

I don't know a lot about the titular Wilson, except what is revealed in the show.  He is, or was, a cameraman working for one of the shopping networks in the states, which doesn't seem like a very fulfilling occupation.  He seems a little obsessive compulsive, the way he documents his entire life on these tightly gridded pocketbook pages.  He also seems to live behind his camera, recording life as it happens, and, presumably, cataloging it. Each episode of his show, How To... purports to be a tutorial on a specific subject, and while each episode starts with that intent, it rarely ends up that way. 

The structure of the show is mainly a densely edited collage of Wilson's compiled footage on the subject juxtaposed against captivating randomness, with Wilson narrating, musing over the subject (and often the visuals) as he goes.  The narration and the visuals are in their own sort of ballet, one always threatening to get away from the other, but neither does.  It's quite beautiful and meditative, often funny, frequently insightful and occasionally emotional. Invariably the subject of the episode gets away from Wilson as he stumbles upon a unique personality, or opportunity to explore a world he never knew about.  He finds himself with some truly bizarre people (like the episode about plastic furniture coverings which puddlejumps into someone's foreskin restoration basement business) but Wilson's own social anxiety and gentle demeanor never raise the stakes with these odder sort, and even if Wilson can't exactly relate to them, he still seems genuinely interested in what they're about.  

The final episode of the season, "How to cook the perfect risotto" is built around the beautiful relationship Wilson has with his elderly landlady, and his wanting to cook her her favourite food --risotto-- to repay her for her many kindnessess, but the story becomes something even more bittersweet as the early stages of the Pandemic hit and Wilson can't sit down to a meal with her, or watch Jeopardy with her every night.  When he calls from the second floor window - "Hey Mama" (she insists he call her "Mama") - their first potential contact in weeks, but she can't hear him because she elderly and hard of hearing, is one of the most affecting things I've watched in years, and really reinforces the loneliness that the pandemic has caused. (I now just randomly say "Hey Mama", but more "Hey Mowmow" to my kitty in the same cadence).  There's a beautiful ending to that story though, and it's so worth watching.  It's all worth watching.

Wilson's eye for capturing the unique and beautiful and strange is impressive, as is his ability to trim a clip to its perfect length.  He roams the streets of New York City and the show, even though it leaves the city more than once, is through and through a tribute to it and its radically diverse group of oddball denizens.  It really hits home how unique New York (tongue twister) is, how much I would never want to live there, and yet how kind of baffling and marvelous it is that it exists.

The King of Staten Island

 2020, d. Judd Apatow - Crave

I want to bristle against the label of being a guy who likes Judd Apatow films, but I usually do like his films.  Though they do have broader appeal, they're kind of tailor-made for my demographic (hetero, male, white, born in the mid-60's through mid-80's, a-little-but-not-too nerdy). I initially resisted seeing this Pete Davidson vehicle not because I dislike Pete Davidson, but because he's become his own unfortunate punchline, rather unfairly. 

I've been watching Davidson on Saturday Night Live for years, but it seems like between the summer of 2019 and the summer of 2020 the world went into Pete Davidson overload, and suddenly we were besieged with his dating life, cast strife, and emotional well being.  Not that we shouldn't have empathy for the latter, but after so much of the first two I wasn't sure I was ready to see a Davidson-starring movie.

But this film does incredibly right by Davidson, showing both exhaustion with and sympathy towards him. Mental health issues, crones disease, substance dependency, childhood trauma, and lack of self esteem are all part of this complex picture of Pete Davidson, acting as "Scott", a role that is ostensibly a Pete Davidson-type. It also paints him with a good heart, a cracklingly dark sense of humour, and a general sweetness that seems authentic to both "Scott" and Pete.

Scott, 24, lives in his mother's basement, where he generally hangs out with his friends, smokes weed and plays video games.  His younger sister has graduated high school (something he never did) and is off to college (though completely worried about Scott's well-being in her absence).  He has artistic skill and aspirations to be a tattoo artist but his attention wanders leaving his end results a monstrous mess.  He's sleeping with one of his friends, but refused to commit to her, noting that he likes being with her but feels she can do better.  His mom (Marisa Tomei) starts dating a new guy (Bill Burr), a fireman like his father, which brings Scott's neglected feelings about his deceased dad to the forefront.  Things kind of erupt between them and both men are ejected from her life, and the pair wind up living at the fire house together with both men getting better perspective on each other.

It has a heartfelt attitude towards firemen (and women), the job they do, their comradery and their sacrifices (as well as acknowledging the sacrifices that their families must make). It also is a portrait of Staten Island life which is represented as kind of a good-hearted dirtbags with a sense of pride for their salted land. It's also serves as a slight examination of millennial stress and apathy, but that's at best a tertiary consideration.

The film is a long one, as most of Apatow's works have become, but it weaves through the portrait of Scott and the people around him almost in an episodic fashion, like it were four or five episodes of a half-hour dramatic comedy woven together.  The film moves through time awkwardly, hardly making clear how much time has passed from one scene to the next... sometimes it's a scene happening at the same time as the previous scene, sometimes it's taking place months later.  But there's a soft rhythm to this, gently tapping away in the background that smooths out the bumps, forgiving any narrative messiness. 

It's genuine, funny, and genuinely funny. It was a surprise even though it shouldn't be...these are the kind of films Apatow makes, and it's well cast with actors who all feel the vibe this movie is bringing. I think what surprised me most is this look at a struggling generation and how it's rather devoid of a lot of the juvenile humour we got out of the Rogen and Sandler years that preceded it.  It's got such a different tone to it. 

T&K's Xmas Advent Calendar: Day 20

Christmas at the Plaza, 2019, Ron Oliver (Angel of Christmas) -- download

OK, look at that previously-directed. That should have been a hint, right? Prepare for the horror? But honestly, this was a middling movie at worst, nothing horror filled, nothing rage inducing, besides the Peanut Gallery shouting out things randomly like my grandmother watching Lawrence Welk. And it actually had a sweet moment that made me tear up. OK, it was after most of a bottle of tripel, so I was already emotional.

Jessica Cooper (Elizabeth Henstridge, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD) is hired by the Plaza Hotel to decorate one of their rooms in an Xmas themed, historical Plaza focused array. They want museum meets art gallery meets Xmas Event. By "they" we mean Ms. Clark, (don't call her Amanda, Kenny!) who gets the role of Dick Boss for this movie. Jessica will be working alongside the handy guy whose ladder she stole when first walking in. Nick (Ryan Paevey, Harvest Love) is actually the hired decorator, some sort of job that is a mix of holiday designer, handyman who strings up lights and in charge of ALL the Xmas themed decorations in the Plaza, including those massive trees.

Jessica is a history person from the local university where her Dick Boyfriend also works. Nick runs his own Xmas decorating business, which I cannot imagine surviving the entire year in NYC considering it seems like just him and a truck. The Peanut Gallery pointed out that he likely would have been the owner of a interior decorating company, but that was not manly-man enough for the Male Lead, so he comes off more like the Plaza custodian assigned the job of putting up trees. Despite some initial, as required take-a-shot tension, Jessica is almost immediately making moon-eyes at Nick, who also almost immediately returns them.

Jessica, who Henstridge plays with a terrible (TERRIBLE!) American accent ("whiiir to begin"), is challenged by her task until she catches on that the Plaza does a unique Xmas tree topper for their main tree, every year since they opened. Oh, sorry, Final Dabra (d'arbre, actually) "A what?" "A tree topper!" -- I believe we hear that phrase about five times. She dives right into the theme but is stumped by the lack of one in 1969. Nobody knows why, not even Maybe Magic Santa, Grampa Bellboy (Bruce Davison, X-Men) who is the old, wise man of the Plaza who encourages Jessica at her task.

Meanwhile Jessica is challenged by her Dick BF not actually showing any signs of marrying her. Jessica's Best Friend believes she should be meeting his parents by now. Alas, he is a snobby academic surrounded by other snobby academics, that she doesn't feel very at home with. So, one night after a disastrous party, she ends up back at the Plaza and bumps into Nick, and then ends up back at Nick's parents place. Peanut Gallery stated nobody would hang icicle lights professionally without attaching weights to them, so maybe he isn't such a good decorator after all. BUT he has a big Italian family with silly, fun Xmas themed parties, such as wrapping gifts for charity and horrible karaoke. Jessica loves this, and Nick is actually honest that he is trying to make a play for her. But they acknowledge, she has a boyfriend, and that's a no no.

Then comes the subplot, the story of Grampa Bellboy being the original creator of many of those Final D'arbre ("the what?!?!" tree toppers!) that adorned the Plaza trees. But after a tragic love that is lost, he abandons his art and ends up the lowly bellboy, which he retains even fifty years later. To be honest, I assumed he was the owner of the Plaza playing the Magic Santa, but no, he is just a sad, sweet story. He doesn't really want to dig up that part of his past, but after hearing how Dick Boss threatens Jessica if she doesn't complete The Story, he heads back to his workbench, and with with the help of the elves (OK, I added that part) he completes that 1969 Finial D'arbre ("The whaaaaat?!?!") and sends it off to Jessica.

Thus comes the Xmas Event, but (booooooo!) no Red Dress on Jessica, but she does have a great success, and ... well, this little bit actually brought a tear to my eye, and made me forget the leads, but Grampa Bellboy, who was driven away from the Love of His Life back in '69 is approached by a sweet old lady who, well who else could it be, is his True Love. And we know where that will go. Ahhh Old People in Love.  Swooon.

Oh yeah, and Jessica breaks up with Dick BF and gets together with Nick. And they Christmas'd Happily Ever After. THAT ! They actually wrote that at the end of the movie. Hee.

The Draw: Elizabeth Henstridge really, and also because it was actually one of the 2019 roster of actual Hallmark movies.

The Formulae: NYC opening flyover, decently done with a classic Xmas song. Initial meeting with misconception and tension, which TBH, is not my favorite trope for these movies. Don't try and start a thing between people by showing how big of dicks they can be. There is no real Xmas Fair, but there are chestnuts roasted, on the streets of NYC. Which was played by Winnipeg of all places, and ... didn't have any snow? They must have shot it off season. There is a Hunting of the Xmas Tree, which is supposed to be the Perfect Real Tree, but is sooooo obviously a fake one. And there is an Xmas Event, alas not a dance event, and no Red Dress. Also, Nick was Dumped around Xmas Time, but that plays so little in the movie.

Unformulae: Booooooo, no Red Dress.

True Calling? The movie is shot in Winnipeg and NYC. As all exterior shots, and other building interiors must have been Winnipeg, I am thinking the only real NYC scenes were the steps of the Plaza. So, yes?

The Rewind: Final D'arbre! The whaaaaat? The tree topper.

The Regulars: Oh, Paevey is in a TON of these movies, when he is not doing soap operas. And nobody else. In fact, other than Bruce Davison and Julia Duffy (Newhart), there is almost no Real Actors in this movie. There are so many local talents, and sorry but Winnipeg is no Vancouver, I was wondering if they spent all their money on the few front-steps shots at the Plaza.

How does it Hallmark? It is pretty typical, but the speed at which these two were making mooneyes (in case you were wondering, my brain made this phrase up; I probably meant "cow eyes" but in for a penny...) at each other, in another movie, there would have been the Waking Up In Bed Together After Drunken Night scene.

How does it movie? Nope, nada. Nuttin honey.

(Bonus) How does it snow? Booooooo !!! Considering this was shot in Winnipeg, there should have been TONS of real snow. Alas.... all we got was some fake spray on, TONS of Central Park stock film shots filled with real snow, and a bit of the cob webby stuff. (D-)

T&K's Xmas Advent Calendar: Day 14

Christmas Inheritance, 2017, Ernie Barbarash (A Royal Winter) -- Netflix

Falling behind on these, both in the viewing and in the writing. I could blame Life, but really, it's just me. And Santa, definitely Santa's fault.

We open on a drone/chopper shot of NYC. This is how you do NYC fly-ins; I am talking to you, A Christmas Love Story !! We slide in over what must have been some re-purposed New Year's shots, decorated Times Square and skating at Rockefeller Center. And then we fly into the building holding an Xmas Event (take a shot), while the host of said event wanders around looking perturbed, "Where is she? Where is YOUR FIANCE?" Dick Fiance establishes himself as such in under 30 seconds, a record time in my books. And then we slide into an adjacent room where sought Fiance is doing cartwheels in her red dress (take a shot) flashing ... her red underwear ?!?! Waitasec here Mr. Hallmark, how are we allowed to see the female lead in her undies, even if said undies were incredible demure?!? This is NOT your Gramma's Hallmark, to steal a line (paraphrase) from Kent.

Cart Wheeling Party Girl is Ellen Langford (Eliza Taylor, The 100), heiress to the great Langford Greeting Card fortune !! But nobody takes her serious as she's almost 30 and is only known for partying. Dad, CEO of said company, has been spoiling her since Mom died (take a shot) and comes up with a wonderful plan. Instead of him going to the PST Snow Falls, where he was raised and where he and his partner came up with the idea for their Greeting Card Company (seriously dudes, the idea was not original), like he does every year to hand-deliver a hand-written letter, he is going to send his daughter incognito (cuz she's never been there?). She will deliver said letter, while not telling anyone who she is and surviving off ONLY the $100 he gives her. Apparently that's the Cherished Tradition. But seriously folks, if he's been doing it every year since the 80s, everyone in HIS OWN HOME TOWN would know him and would just pay for everything. So, yeah not so much of a secret tradition. I bethinks the entire town is in on it.

Alas Ellen has to catch the bus (which is a relatively short ride from NYC) to a town with one taxi, no Uber (and no Lyft), no cell reception, one cop and one hotel/B&B. Part of me wonders whether this town has been crippled for Dad's Amusement, because no town one bus-ride from NYC could be this cut off from the rest of the world. But no worries, Ellen gets herself to town, only destroys one suit-case and settles herself into the Inn that happens to be run by the same guy who destroyed her suit-case with his taxi, yeah that one taxi. He is the Romantic Lead (Jake Lacy, The Office), but on first glance, I was worried I had blundered into another traditional holiday movie where his haircut cautioned the viewer that she would end up hiding from him and his Big Knife.

Ellen wants to hand off the letter and get back to NYC so her and Dick Fiance can head off to Maui. But Zeke, Dad's partner, is nowhere to be found. And she cannot just leave it for him. So, one day extends into more days and that $100 is gone. So, she needs money and ends up helping out Psycho Innkeeper (OK, I cannot call him that anymore, because he is the Nice Guy) and his Nice Aunt.

The establishment of a rapport between the two leads happens on the night of The Big Storm when One Cop shows up at the Inn with a bunch of people from the side of town that just lost power. Apparently the storm is going to be so bad and so cold, that they cannot leave these people in their homes. So, he and the Innkeeper bring them here to be jammed in beside the neighbourly guests of the Inn. Oh its cold outside? Ellen runs off and grabs the PST's single homeless guy to bunk down with the rest. That has broken the ice between the two and they talk about the coming Xmas Event, a silent auction where they raise money for someone, which Innkeeper has not yet had the time to find to secure actual items people would big on. Ellen suggests he auction his Hidden Artwork. Said artwork is terrible, so amateurish, he might get some pity bids. Might.

"Can I show you something?" asks Innkeeper (as he pulls out his Big Knife?). Sure, let's go out into the Big Storm with the Big Cold to see whatever there is to see. Again, is the entire town in on manipulating her, as there is NO STORM AT ALL and it's mild enough to be out walking at a pace once needn't worry. And what he wanted her to see were the ice sculptures that.... no, he didn't do them, local students create from his (terrible) sketches. All these heartfelt moments, confessions of why he hates NYC (and NYC women) and her inability to get over Dead Mom's death lead to an Almost Kiss, interrupted by remembering she is Engaged. I knew those red panties meant Ellen's heart wasn't pure !!

Despite the tension, Ellen decides to help out Innkeeper by fulfilling all his Silent Auction needs. get your mind out of the gutter; you know what I mean. She putters around all over town securing high ends donations, including harassing of the local computer store guy into giving her an iMac. Suddenly she knows the Real Meaning of Charity, so he should as well ! Grateful Innkeeper gives her a big lusty hug of thanks just when Dick Fiance shows up. TENSION! (take a shot?)

Dick Fiance convinces Ellen she needs to head out ASAP, and not wait for Zeke to show up. But man, he he hates this PST with it's POS cell reception, so he ends up at the local watering hole (probably the only one) for an iced martini (who DOES that?!?!?!) and blurts out to mopey Innkeeper who she really is. Now Innkeeper is not only mopey but pissed, as another NYC Girl has broken his heart AND lied to him.

With all this tension in the air, she decides Dick Fiance (let's call him Fick, as I keep on typo-ing) is right and she just needs to leave. Maui calls. On the way back to NYC she discovers the one letter she was supposed to actually deliver, if not by hand then by some manner, is not in the box. "We have to go back !!" she cries. Fick has had enough and puts his foot down in a way only Ficks can do. He's not having anymore of this stupid, endearing adhering to tradition. And that's it, the straw-camel moment for Ellen. She dumps the ring, dumps Fick and hops back into the bus back to Snow Falls and Innkeeper and his Silent Auction.

At said Auction, which is going well, she confesses all to Innkeeper and he forgives her and Zeke appears as not-so-magic-or-real Santa, who also confesses this was all engineered to keep her in Snow Falls and learn the Real Magic of Christmas. Also, Dad's suddenly there, and he confesses he did this to make her the Perfect CEO. Ahh shucks, thanks Daddy !! And they live happily ever after.


The Draw: I needed another one in a PST, and I liked Eliza Taylor from The 100 so the draw was there.

The Formulae: Now that I have established that NYC city fly overs are a thing in these movies, even the ones not SET in NYC, we have that. And we have a PST. And we have a Red Dress at an Xmas Event -- plus a bonus pair of red panties!! There is a brief moment of Xmas Fair, but really its just the carolers at the bus station. And we have a real Xmas Event that the the mains have to work towards. And there is a Dead Mom. Also, Male Lead has a recent Breakup that has caused him to dislike Xmas, well really, just dislike a particularly saccharine version of Silent Night.

Unformulae: Well, I have to get this out. Including the red panties, and the number of times they pointed the camera down Eliza Taylor's ample cleavage, I have to wonder who this movie was directed at... other than her. These movies are so often so very very chaste! We would have never seen Lacey Chabert leaning over constantly, to pickup something from the floor!!

True Calling? She's not really inheriting anything. The Greeting Card Company was not her mom's but her dad's, and he is just really manipulating her into becoming the Beloved CEO, after he retires. So no, not really.

The Rewind: Umm... red panties?  *blush* But no, as the Peanut Gallery pointed out, its not even Eliza Taylor cartwheeling.

The Regulars: The Leads? Nope, none of the recognizable faces do these Hallmarky movies at all. Neil Crone (CEO Dad) has been a few.

How does it Hallmark? Yeah, this one hits all the (Hall) marks. Its charming and funny and touching exactly as it needs to be.

How does it movie? I am not sure if I am ever going to give one of these a positive mark for being a Good Real Movie. They are all pretty bad, from a critical point of view, but nothing about this was INCREDIBLY terrible, despite Insert Storm, so I rather enjoyed it.

(Bonus) How does it snow? Decently, if it is still obvious they were using fake snow. But rather than the flaky soap flakes type or the cobwebby version, they looked like they used some sort of oil based spray snow, that clung to things in a real manner, but never actually melted. They even put icey balls of snow in her hair, after she came back from rescuing Only Homeless Guy (B+)

T&K's Xmas Advent Calendar: Day 10

Once Upon a Holiday, 2015, James Head (Christmas Cookies) -- Netflix

The Peanut Gallery informs me that this movie is just a rip-off of the Audrey Hepburn movie, Roman Holiday. In case you are wondering why I am referring to her as the Peanut Gallery, its because this Hallmark movie thing is my thing, and she is only a mildly willing participant, as long as I dust it with some generic Xmas movies. So, yes, Roman Holiday, where a young princess escapes her royal duties for a day.

Katie (Briana Evigan, Step Up 2: The Streets) is a princess to an imaginary European country Montserai. I wonder if we took all the imaginary European countries from movies and jammed them next to each other on a map, which real life country would lose the most land? Anywayz, she's in NYC for some ceremony that her family is obligated to fulfill. Katie lost her parents (take a shot) when she was very young, and the last strong memory of her mother involves exploring NYC and its Xmas Fair, and the presenting of a camera by her mother.

Katie, now in her 20s, obviously understands her obligations, as she has been sticking to them for years, but just this one time, wants to go to a gallery opening of some of her favourite photographers. Her mother instilled in her a life long love of photography. But no, Obligations! So, after a heartfelt conversation with her mother's attourney (Greg Evigan [yes, her dad], BJ & the Bear), she runs off into the city on her own.

Not long after her escape does she encounter some rapscallions who steal her purse and the camera her mother gave her. Our Hero, Jack (Paul Campbell, Battlestar Galactica) dashes off to capture them, but they escape in the crowd. Katie and Jack chat, and she refuses any assistance, as she is a Capable Independant Princess.

Meanwhile we learn a bit about Jack. He's a contractor reno-ing a condo/apartment for a rich friend. Jack is great friends with a retired magician, who fills in the Possibly Really Santa role for this movie (he's not) and has a sister dating a reporter, who plays the part of The Dick. Jack has an issue with Xmas (take a shot) because he was dumped around this time of years (finish your drink).

Katie's not doing so well on this Independent Thing, meanwhile her Aunt has sent the Montserai Secret Police (OK, probably just protection detail) into the city to find the Princess. Auntie is panicking, not for the girl's welfare, but about how many obligations Katie is missing. After getting lost, and giving away what cash she had (Princesses don't understand money), she bumps into Jack again, and is invited into his Holiday Bash at the old magician's shop. Thus we begin.

Jack is supposed to be too busy reno-ing that place to properly pay attention to the season but still seems to find the time to wander around the city with Katie (take a shot). Only at night, when he returns to said loft, which he has offered up as a place for Katie to stay while she figures out what is going on, does he actually seem to work on the project. Said work is endlessly planing and sanding a single plank of reclaimed wood. No more is ever said about her stolen articles, nor her lack of desire to recover it.

Meanwhile The Dick Reporter is trying to break out of puff pieces (of which he is terrible at, because he is The Dick), by pursuing the story of the Runaway Princess. As he gets closer to the truth, Jack and Katie are getting closer. I genuinely liked the way the two leads built this attraction; they actually had the sweetest looks passed between them. He actually maneuvers his way into trapping Katie in the magic shop, so he can ambush interview her. It doesn't go well and he ends up being Disappeared. I am not sure if he ever comes back from where he was sent. After a momentary upset where Jack is not as concerned she wouldn't tell him who she really was, but that she will eventually Go Back Home, he does one last sweet thing, in distracting her security team so she can finally go to that exhibit.

Katie returns home, heartbroken that she lost Jack, to her traditional Xmas Event (not a dance event, no red dress *pout*) only to find out Jack has been secretly transported to Montserai. And no, not by magic cupboard, just probably by jetplane. Dick Reporter has been dumped, if he ever got out of said magic cupboard and everyone else Lives Happily Ever After.

But why the @%!$^ does she never ever seek out the stolen camera? The movie made a point in telling us it was a special gift from her Dead Mom, and once it is gone, she never talks about it again. Sure, Jack replaces it with a cheap point-n-shoot digital camera, but SENTIMENTAL KEEPSAKE !!

The Draw: Runaway Princess theme. Even if I am unaware of this having come from Roman Holiday (i probably was but it got lost in my overfull junk drawer) I love the idea of royalty deeming to come down to our level.

The Formulae: So, kicks off (pun intended) with Dead Parents. Involves an Xmas Fair, to which our couple returns later. Collecting an Xmas tree, which BTW, they tried to jam into the house IN THE WRONG DIRECTION !! Dumped at Xmas time = Grinch Mode. Does being a Princess count as being rich?

Unformulae: Not set in a PST, but I am beginning to think NYC might be the secondary location for such movies. There was no proper Xmas Event, unless you count the magic shop potluck, but there was no charity event planned, nor any dance event and definitely no red dress. You figger that Jack's sister could have provided her a perfectly fitted red dress from that consignment shop she owns.

True Calling? Well, but for the fact that Once Upon a Time is often connected to Princesses, no the movie is not fairytale related.

The Rewind: Not a lot re-watchable, nor cringe-worthy, but there was one scene where they go on about the light in the room, being just about perfect, and I was not sure if that was feeble irony, cuz said light was obvious created by the stained glass piece leaning up against the window? Also, of minor note, why were all the people from Imaginary European Country all talking with different American regional accents?

The Regulars: Briana usually does roles as skimpy dressed young thangs, so no, not a regular in these flicks. Also, Dad Evigan has does almost none of these, and I thought as an aging recognizable face, he would be all over them. So that leaves us the guy from Vancouver, Paul Campbell, as the Usual Suspect having done a few over the years.

How does it Hallmark? Let's give it a B+ for me actually being charmed by the understated manner in which the two come to enjoy each other's company. Sure, it's not very believable that a total stranger would just allow the girl with no money and a likely shady history into his personal life, but the two leads come off as very genuine. And I never once found any character annoying, that I wasn't supposed to find annoying.

How does it movie? Yeah, no. It's not very believable that a total stranger would just allow the girl with no money and a likely shady history into his personal life, no matter how nice and pretty she is. And pretty, no money girl -- he's a total stranger!! And you get into his van?!?! There are other movies that have this dynamic, until they introduce the grizzled detective.

(Bonus) How does it snow? I am beginning to notice the snow in these fake Xmas movies. This one wins out for being the first I recall with real real snow, as in the streets of Vancouver have real left over snow on them and it has a realistic winter, melted sidewalks look to it. (A)

Anon

2018, Andrew Niccol (Gattaca, In Time) -- Netflix

Niccol's last foray into futuristic social commentary, In Time, was marred by a dominance of pretty people and a lack of focus on the world's futuristic elements. But in his latest, a comment on the lack of privacy in the digital world, you cannot escape the futuristic. It's everywhere -- in much the way we think our own world is, dominated by social media and digital systems stealing away our privacy, Anon's world is saturated by sub-cutaneous information overload. In our real world, despite the hype, it's still pretty easy to disconnect from personal data stealing online culture -- just don't contribute and you won't be out there. But imagine a world where its in your head from birth, where the government can see through your eyes, record all that information and access it at any time --- there is literally no privacy.

Clive Owen is Sal, a cop who investigates serious crimes. His job's rather easy, he can just review the criminal activities through the perp's own eyes (and recent past) to glean all the details he wants. It doesn't stop people from trying; it's just easy to solve. Sal is kind of bored, when a mystery comes along. Someone is murdering those who recently had their illicit behaviours removed from the record.

Of course you subvert can the system. Sleep with a hooker and don't want your wife to find out? Hire a hacker to remove the event from your own record (and the copy with the govt), from the hooker's record, from every record of everyone involved. Fill in the time with the memory version of a looping vid (or static print out placed in front of a security cam) and all the details are gone. A hacker is hacking the hacks and killing to remove all evidence.

Sal's a good cop and quickly puts together some details, generates a sting op to find this skilled hacker, and it all goes wrong, because they always do. Amanda Seyfried returns (in a Niccol movie) as the hacker in question, a young women entirely removed from the system and offering the same to others. But why is she killing her clients? That is the question.

This is brutalism meets film noir meets techo overlay. The entire concrete world (shot in Toronto and NYC) is overlayed, an augmented reality, with advertising and information. As we generally see through a cop's eyes, I am not sure everyone has the access Sal does, but he gets EVERYTHING. He knows the details of everyone and everything he sees, with text and video for everything in his field of view. Its a fascinating world, where he can wave things off but never really does, where everyone has the look of a person distracted by their phone, in the extreme --- eyes always lost in a distance look at something not really there.

You know my love for interfaces, and while much of this is too simplified (think flying boxes as representations of all data) it is well populated, focusing on the utter glut of available info. And these smoking, grim talking people, so devoid of emotional inflection walking around a stone city a little too clean, a little too tidy. It made me think the view may be cleaned up, editing out refuse and clutter. The world is as you want, or need, to see it.

The commentary is that even when we have all the private info available, crime won't just go away. Sure, it will be easy to solve said crimes, but people are people. Its supposed to be chilling that the government will have access to everything about us, but that's not really perceived here almost as if Niccol's is OK with this world. Just stay away from illicit behaviour and you can have your life to yourself. I think if they had shown a bit more of how the information can be abused, we could have bought into the scary aspects of this world.