3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Ballerina

2025, Len Wiseman (Underworld) -- download

I have recently been watching a lot of movies in chunks of viewing time, often with gaps of days in between. I have also been dealing with a winter bug for more than a week which has left my brain with a permanent low-battery alarm. Both of these have contributed to plots escaping my memory almost as soon as I hit the Stop button on the remote. I don't take notes, leaving that for Hallmarkie Days, so end up struggling as what to say when it comes times to write about it. Back in the old days, that is where "I Saw This!!" emerged, but my newer stub-based posts method generally precludes that. Generally.

Meta meta meta...

So, we all know that this is a spin-off of the John Wick franchise, one that (checks Googles) takes place between 3 and 4. So, this is after John (Keanu Reeves, Keanu) was thrown off the roof, with a thud, but before he's gallivanting all over the world trying to kill the head of The High Table. It specifically involves a tribe (were they always called tribes? I don't recall that word being used for all the ritualistic crime organizations) John used to be part of, the Ruska Roma and a new tribe, that all the others dismiss as just a cult, one to be very cautious when dealing with. In particular it involves Eve MaCarro (Ana de Armas, No Time to Die), who escapes the latter tribe, at the cost of her father, is found by Winston (Ian McShane, Deadwood), and handed to the Ruska Roma for training and family. She ends up not appreciating any of it, and her father stands in for John's puppy.

This is also a Len Wiseman movie, so from the movie perspective, that means his template was a woman (vampire) in a rubber/leather jumpsuit wielding dual pistols while fighting vampires & werewolves in a shadowy European city. That lends itself well, as an adult Eve heads off to find the cult that killed her family, garnering the ire of The Director, as John himself did once. Against orders, she seeks out advice from Winston and is directed to Prague to a member of the cult, a man named Pine.

Pine (Norman Reedus, The Walking Dead) is also "defecting" and also with his daughter, a blatant mirror of Eve's history. Its on Continental ground, but the cult doesn't care for the rules and attacks Pine, and in turn, Eve. They almost make it out, but Pine is shot, and Eve left unconscious. She is forgiven his indiscretions in that Continental, because she didn't kill anyone, and heads off to arm-up, only to have the Prague sommelier (I believe that is what they called the first example of John Wick-ian arms dealer?) attacked by The Cult. The arms dealer sends her to Hallstat, Austria, a small ski village high in the mountains.

And that is where All Hell breaks out, a typical (oh JW movies) "kill every fucking person" fight between the residents of the village, which is made up entirely of The Cult, and Eve. And briefly, John Wick, who is asked by The Director (Anjelica Huston, 50/50) to take down Eve, for fear of increasing the friction between The Cult and the Ruska Roma. We learn the origins of The Cult, in that the village was setup as a refuge for all killers from the other tribes, when they want to leave that life and have a family, but still be protected. It honestly doesn't sound like such a bad ideal, but I guess they evolved into something more cultish, seeking the same level of power & control of its membership as the rest of the tribes. No one really ever escapes this world, except for, much later, John. Eve survives but pretty much ends the entire Cult, leaving behind plenty of children who will probably make it their life's goal to kill her. Tit for tat, I say. And John uses a loophole to avoid having to kill her. Its not like he can piss of his leaders even more than he has in three previous movies.

This movie was competent enough, but it left very little in the way of emotional / visual impact as the "proper" John Wick movies. And no, I am not talking the "you killed his dog?!?!" emotional impetus, but more the connection between us, the viewer, and Eve. This is not Ana de Armas' first OK Corral role, but it just didn't work entirely for me. I couldn't even go so far as to say "popcorn movie" as, with those, I am usually expectant to watch it again some time. I mean, I have even rewatched Sisu lately. Maybe I can blame it on the chunky viewing habit I mentioned above, but this is just not staying with me.

P.S. Its not that movie Ballerina, and yet... it is?