2025 - Hallmark Channel/W Network (8/8 episodes)
I can count on one hand the number of reality competitions shows I actively watch with fingers left to spare, and Finding Mr. Christmas is one of them, simply because it is so goddamn ridiculous. And it's only made more ridiculous by the fact that last year they so clearly chose perhaps the worst of their 10 candidates, resulting in one of the worst movies Hallmark has ever produced (and that's saying something, given how many inarguably bad films they churn out in a given year).
Last year's competition ran for 8 weeks, ending with the winner being announced, and days later the film starring that winner, Ezra Moreland, the dead-eyed booty-shorts bartender-turned-marine-turned-model assaulted our eyes and ears with a tone deaf, monosyllabic performance in a Hallmark holiday romance movie, Happy Howlidays. Dude seems like a nice enough guy, but there was no evidence during 8 episodes of the reality show that he had any acting competency. And this year he not only didn't lead a Hallmark film, he was scuttled into a bit part and outshone by a pre-teen performer in his scenes.
Given what a trainwreck last year's competition was, how could I not want to watch another season? To watch as the show so obviously twists its narrative in the edit to shape its decisions to drum out the people of colour or gay performers. The purpose of the show is not legitimately interested in finding the next superstar for the Network, because there's a means in which people are cast into roles in films, and a competition show just isn't it. No, instead it's just cheap and easy television filler for the network, a series that plays with beefy men's emotions, getting their hopes up that they can have a new chapter in life while pretty much embarrassing them in the process.
I truly believe the network's purple suits had hope that with season one the show would cultivate a dedicated following of female viewers who would be so thoroughly invested in the hunks that it would be a breeding ground for the network to put tnot just the winner but also runners up into Hallmark productions and easily have eyes on them. This was certainly not the case, and so there's a definite cynicism to season two, a definite bite of "oh, this is just absurdism for content's sake", and most of these men involved are not acutely aware of this.
This season's 10 men were:
Jake - he was a kicker in the NFL
Drake - he's a golden retriever in human form
Logan - he's a fantasy nerd, but he's buff?
Gabe - uh, he's Black Ezra... super handsome, dead eyed, no acting talent
Robbie - he's a veteran of the New York theatre scene, both acting and directing...and the gay one
Davey - he's a model, and a dad, and apparently once a Chris Hemsworth stand-in
Marcus - he's a model and...no other distinguishing characteristics
Craig - he thinks he's funny, and also thinks he can rap
Rustin - he plays music
Angel - he's an angel in human form. A beautiful, kind-hearted man with a gorgeous smile, even more gorgeous hair, a ton of charisma, and an accent so thick you can slice it off like cheese. He's also the most accomplished actor in the season, perhaps next to Robbie.
Each episode the men compete in a "Festive Face-off" which reveals next to nothing about their acting ability, but maybe, possibly, ever so slightly reveals a little of their character as a person? Hallmark can't have, like, shallow egocentric vainglorious bigots on their network, right? That's what "Great American Family" channel is for.
Following the Festive Face-off is the "Star Quality Challenge", which should hopefully show off the acting ability of these men in situations that would be probable on a Hallmark movie, often with a Hallmark celeb as scene partner. Other times, it's just about taking pictures, which is where the models obviously get a chance to shine brighter over their acting counterparts.
The "Festive Face-off" winner(s) then get an advantage over the other contestants, sometimes it's a big deal, like when it allows them to watch the other contestants perform before it's their turn, or in one case where the winner got immunity from elimination and had the choice to keep it for themselves or give it to one of the other men. But sometimes the advantage is just something stupid like choosing the order in which they perform, or which reindeer the other men get to be in a photo shoot.
I think this season really attempted to showcase acting more, but those Festive Face-offs where they were trying to run up a hill on a soaped-up slip and slide, or where they were trying to navigate a Christmas-themed obstacle course without making any noise, proved absolutely nothing, as entertaining as they were.
The most ludicrous part of the show is before and between the challenges where the men sit in various locations around the house or estate and have to engage with one another off-script, but obviously prompted by the producers about what they should be doing or saying, and it's soooo clear that none of these guys have any improv training. It should be part of the competition, how believable they can be in these prompted moments, holding empty cups and pretending to bond with these other guys.
I'm not going to break down each episode (you're welcome), but the key thing to note is that, for the most part, the show has done a decent job of ...eventually... eliminating the weakest players. There have been absurd wins and equally absurd eliminations (and absurd edits and overdubs to explain the absurd decisions being made), but the only outright error was in eliminating Robbie, who won many of the Star Quality challenges because he's an experienced actor and legitimately knows what he's doing. He got eliminated primarily because he didn't take control of a scene and got steamrolled by one of the other actors. He wasn't the worst actor of the day, but he's gay and you just know that Hallmark isn't going to choose a gay man as the winner of their "find our next Hallmark hunk" competition show. Even if Jonathan Bennett, the host of this very same competition show is a gay man.
And like last year, where one of the finalists had been a cast member of Hamilton for five years and lost to Ezra, you just know the show is looking for reasons to eliminate the persons of colour. Here it's Gabe, Marcus and Angel. Gabe was an easy one, because he kept freezing or blowing his takes. Marcus' acting was not great and getting fourth place is a bit of a shock. That Angel, beautiful Angel, with his Venezuelan accent that trips him up a little bit, made it to the final, is both shocking but also maybe a sign that this whole competition isn't completely rigged, because he's clearly the most charismatic of the men they assembled and probably the best actor in spite of the accent.
It's interesting to note that first episode announces that they have the chance to win "a lead role in a Hallmark holiday movie" to "a leading role in a Hallmark movie". The word choice is key, because it's the difference of being the male romantic lead of one of their Christmas romances, to being like a family member or best friend in an ensemble cast for a "spring themed" or "fall themed" movie, which are not nearly as high profile. The spectre of Ezra Moreland looms large. They gambled big last season and it was an embarrassing loss.
But at the same time, there was something so attractive and so dangerously alluring about the competition leading directly into a new Christmas movie that it seems such a shame not to repeat it. But, I imagine, that if you're a Hallmark leading man or leading lady, it must be pretty rough to be paired up or even compared against a "competition winner". Seriously, Hallmark is not exactly known for its quality acting, but the stars of the channel are talented performers who have had careers that predate Hallmark movies, so to put them in the same light as a competition winner sort of devalues the "Hallmark leading man" status, and so perhaps putting the winner of the competition through their paces in smaller roles in smaller vehicles is maybe the right thing to do.
The finale does away with the Festive Faceoff and instead is a three-part acting challenge where the finalists (Craig, Rustin and sweet Angel of mercy) get two take at three different connecting scenes ending with a kiss with Erin Krakow. Craig does decent in some scenes, pretty good in others, and kind of rushes another... and his kisses with Erin grossed me out (it's like he was trying to conceal her lips with his). Rustin I would say was the most uneven of the contestants, but when he was hitting, he was really, really hitting with a charm offensive. Angel was consistant the whole way but his inability to improvise naturally was evident.
In the end Craig is victorious. If it wasn't obvious, Angel was clearly my favourite. Just an absolute charm machine who would liven up any Hallmark movie in pretty much any role, but it would have to be tailored a bit to him. Craig was a ... weird choice, but the show seemed, basically by episode 5, clearly setting him up for the win with JB and cohost Melissa Peterman praising him extensively for his sense of humour and acting ability (which maybe wasn't quite as evident to the viewing audience).
At least he's... better than Ezra.
*micdrop*
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Moments of note:
- Twice, Craig, who wins this damn thing, decides he's going to rap. Once because he's prompted by the host to do so, and the other because one of the Star Quality challenges was a talent show. Craig, lets be blunt, can rap, but not well. It's like Craig's understanding of rap started, and stopped at Vanilla Ice. Also Craig's modelling idol (as his resting face is Vanilla Ice duck lips), and his dancing idol (since his on-stage movement when performing seemed to be Vanilla Ice-coded) and maybe even his acting idol (Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!). If it was a bit, he really needed to play into it more, but it seemed like he genuinely believes he can rap and that he's talented at it. Also, the show hilariously would cut to Marcus and Gabe for their reactions whenever Craig would "rap".
- In the same talent show competition, Robbie decided he would try stand-up comedy for the first time, and calling his material weak sauce would be insulting to the weak sauces out there. It wound up being a roast of Jonathan Bennett to which it would cut to Jonathan forceably cracking up off stage (he was the only one).
- In the Star Quality challenge where he gets eliminated, Davey (and the other remaining men) are acting against the luminous Ashley Williams. It's a picnic scene, and it's about flirting and connection. On the picnic table is a nice spread of food, and Davey, an stunningly handsome man with muscles for days, can not stop eating grapes in the scene...just grape after grape after grape, big bulbous green grapes which he awkwardly pop into his mouth before he starts chewing. Never a more justified send-home after a catastrophic performance. But also, all those muscles need fuel, so clearly the man's gotta be constantly eating.
- One of the Star Quality challenges had the men having to act against Alison Sweeney, but on horseback. Many of these guys had never been on horses before. At one point Craig is about to go behind the horse and it gives him a little warning. That was almost a very bad elimination for Craig.
- In the penultimate episode, the Festive Face-off finds the remaining four men facing off against... their mothers. Their challenge was to write their moms a letter and then their moms are revealed and they had to read their letters to them. Tears flowed, and you saw both genuine softness and heart. It was pretty sweet, but to what end? It literally had no bearing on the competition.
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