ReWatch: GeoStorm

2017, Dean Devlin (Leverage) -- Netflix

The post for the original DL and watch was eaten by the Great Hiatus of 2018, cuz I guess it came available early in the year after it was released in ... cough ... theatres.

This is not a good movie. Disaster movies rarely are. This new blend of scifi actioner and disaster even less so. But, of course, it elicits the squee's out of me with its silly, bombastic, explodey heroism. This Guy has That Guy sitting in the corner shaking his head.

A few alternate realities ago, Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich were a producing team behind most of the last three decades of disaster movies. In this reality, its mainly Emmerich, but Devlin was there for Independence Day and Godzilla. But obviously he still has the bug for watching the world die.

Interesting how both those posts start with, "I hated this movie when it first came out." I think That Guy may be doing more than shaking his head with you days. I think he may be distancing himself from you entirely.

The fun thing about this movie, as it is with all scifi flicks, is that it was done in the 2017s, but is set not long after, when the world begins to suffer true disaster from Climate Change (foreboding music). The world comes together to fight it, and builds Dutch Boy, after the fictional kid who fingered a dyke. Jake Lawson (Gerard Butler, Reign of Fire) is the magician scientist engineer cowboy who brings it online, but only after pissing off all his bosses, cuz said cowboyisms. He is replaced by his brother Max (Jim Sturgess, Heartless) who has a government job, so that qualifies him to run a high-science space station and satellite network, amiright?

Then, when the US was handing off control to the world (not sure how they were in control considering the "multi-nation coalition" that built the thing, but sure, Go USA) things begin to go wrong. Weather Satellites begin freezing people and blowing shit up. And Max traces it back to a conspiracy. The only person able to fix it is his estranged brother, cuz reasons. 

Jake goes to the space station, which in this near-future is absolutely MASSIVE having actual hangar bays that a space shuttle can land in, to bring these nerdy scientist types in line with his cowboyisms! Rah rah, Go USA! Yes, they do make a comment that he is British, but no matter, he lives in a airstream trailer in the Florida Keys, so Go USA !

He and Max do uncover said conspiracy, but still, have to blow up the space station in order to stop a GeoStorm, a mythical phenomena where all the world's bad storms will come together and DESTROY THE WORLD ! Max and his Secret Service GF (Abbie Cornish, Sucker Punch) find out it is the vice-POTUS (Ed Harris, West World) behind everything because he's salty that the US of A had to hand over power to the rest of the world. Together they blow shit up and shoot people as Jake is blowing up the space station, eliminating the GeoStorm but escapes along with tag-along the German nerdy scientist hottie (Alexandra Maria Lara, Rush).

Rah rah, world saved, Go USA!

I cannot say for sure why these movies thrill me. They rarely strive to make any sense. Maybe part of me wants to watch the world burn. Maybe part of me wants to applaud big dumb heroism. But obviously someone in a purple suit (not Devlin or Emmerich; they have normal shiny suits and are still producing from a certain kind of passion) knows they fill a niche in the human psyche cuz they will always be made, they will always make a certain amount of money (just enough, I guess?) and will continue to find an audience of people like me.