3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Last Sentinel

2023, Tanel Toom (Truth and Justice) -- download

Not to be mistaken with The Last Sentinel with Katee Sackoff as "girl", which I could probably find on Tubi.

Of note, this is where I find one of The Drafts and finish that, as I rewatch John Wick 4 so I can finish that post.

A lot of low budget scifi doesn't hold water (pun intended) when held up to scrutiny. This movie takes place 40 years from now after the world has gone all Waterworld. There are only two land masses, likely the top of that mountain over there, and the top of this mountain over here. And the two islands in the stream (stream being the entire planet) are at war, because, of course they are. BUT in these 40 years they have had time to build a Doom Day Bomb and at least one side has built sentinel towers -- think oil derricks on stilts but acting as watchtowers and housing said DDB. But if they are watching from that point, wouldn't it be logical that the Other Side has its own watchtowers somewhere nearby as well? Not mentioned. Also not mentioned is how they knew exactly how deep to drive the pylons upon which the sentinel sits, and these fuckers must run deeeeeep. And deep enough to keep the sentinel above the surface when the semi-regular tsunamis come rolling by. Maybe the title of the movie implies they fucked up the height of all the others?

Inside the (last) sentinel is a squad of 4 soldiers at the end of their two year rotation. Patience is thin, food is getting scarce and paranoia is high. And the relief squad hasn't shown. And, of course, they barely get along, giving us ample opportunity to witness scenes of them arguing & fighting over petty things. When you have a plot that doesn't provide any (physical) room for much to happen, the only way to move it forward is to bicker. Bickering is supposed to reveal personalities, but all it usually does is annoy me.

The squad is supposed to be watching for The Enemy. They haven't seen anybody in the last two years, but I guess the premise is that some massive invading flotilla of boats would putt-putt by and they would trigger the DDB, ending what's left of the world? 

So the movie goes bicker bicker, paranoia, an empty boat appears which they could escape on but boss-man wants to stick to his duty, bicker bicker, find out their communications was sabotaged (traitor in their midst!), bicker bicker, fuck (two of the soldiers are fucking), fight, bicker, kill off some people, big reveal, settle into despair. OK, that last bit is more me than them, but the ending is supposed to be Uplifting but its just eye-rolling. "Saved the swallows" <rolls eyes>

Who is in the movie? Commander Boss Hendrichs (Thomas Kretschmann, Indian Jones and the Dial of Destiny), lone woman soldier Cassidy (Kate Bosworth, House of Darkness), lost puppy Sullivan (Lucien Laviscount, Emily in Paris) and IKEA furniture engineer Baines (Martin McCann, The Survivalist).

The weird thing about writing this all up is that I just didn't dislike it as much as all those words up there. Sure its a stupid premise, but the acting and the directing are decent enough to make the bickering tolerable. I just wish it had actually gone somewhere, but these movies never do, so I didn't get disappointed, technically.