31 Days of Horror: Teeth

2007, Mitchell Lichtenstein -- Netflix

Last night we didn't have any movies downloaded and were sticking to the guns to watch only what we have not yet seen. So, onto Netflix and through the Horror genres over and over, when finally we settled on this little indie flick. I remember Ebert giving it an OK nod so I thought, why not?  It's about vagina dentata which as Marmy puts it, is really only a horror to men.

The problem is that it wasn't really horror but more black comedy. Sometimes a black comedy can be a horror but really this one wasn't.  Oh well, it's not like I am getting scored for how Horror the horror movie is.

Basically a young girl is into the whole abstinence movement and therefore has not explored her body nor had promiscuous sex.  She knows very little about what's down there.  Then she meets a boy and boy is horny and less than honest about his desire to stay celibate.  He attacks our heroine and... well, gets his penis chomped off.  Thus she is introduced to her stress induced shark teeth and we are given our first view of many rubbery penis tips.

The thing with low budget indie movies, that makes them appealing, is that they are willing to do things that big budgets are not. They take chances and make choices a Hollywood blockbuster wouldn't.  Or they don't.  And if they don't, they fade away.  This was pretty fade worthy with a few chuckles and not even enough dismembering (heh, he said member) to consider itself a b-grade gorefest.

Meh.