Showing posts sorted by date for query sam simmons. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query sam simmons. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Sunday, April 6, 2025

ReWatch Snippets: Indulged

Literally, the same paragraph from the original snippets post applies:

"In a desire to embrace the mental state which leads me from NOT watching a movie proper, but after flicking through the "channels" for a bit, end up rewatching a movie I have seen before, and not always enjoyed that much. So, why? What drew me back? Let's see if I can put a bit of it to words."

I am not sure I will always tell the why but maybe the words I use will tell me why. 

The Accountant, 2016 Gavin O'Connor (Producer Mare of Easttown) -- Netflix

The sequel is coming out, so I thought I would remind myself of the movie. What I recalled. Christian Wolff is a hitman that works a side-gig as a forensic accountant, and he meets Dana Cummings for a bit role. He has lots of guns and kills lots of people, and yet the movie is somewhat quiet and thoughtful. What I didn't remember. Wolff is autistic, and he's not really an assassin. But he does have a massive armoury outfitted like he was an assassin. He does work for criminals, doing the accounting they need, and does the forensic accounting on the side to explain away his money. Anna Kendrick's role is kind of the love interest but not really, though there is attraction there; in the end, he gives her a painting she likes, worth millions. JK Simmons also plays a bit part, as a Treasury Agent who is fed enough information (by an anonymous source) to make him a good cop, but also keep him off Wolff's real trail. Also, Christian Wolff is not his real name, just that of a famous mathematician. Jon Bernthal comes in as Christian's brother, also violent, but a good brother in the end -- he forgives his brother for killing all the men in his employ.

Oblivion, 2013 Joseph Kosinski (Spiderhead) -- Amazon

Jack and Vic are an effective team. In a future where the world was destroyed by aliens, leaving not much but gritty ruins, the pair monitors the integrity of ocean sucking machinery which is supposed to be making fuel for the space colony that the remaining humans have escaped to. But Jack is more attached to The Earth that Was than he should be, or is allowed to be. Until he learns the truth, that he is not fighting the remaining alien invaders, but the remaining human survivors. And he's a clone, one of many protecting the ocean sucking machinery which makes fuel for the Evil AI in the Sky, from the remaining humans.

Its such a beautiful movie of greys and grit and clean white plastic, and for me is an enduring scifi movie full of things to be constantly rediscovered. Still don't like the ending which implies Jack Clone Two is going to hookup with Jack Clone One's wife, who I guess consummated their "marriage" (its complicated clone stuff) before he left to blow up the Evil AI in the Sky. I mean, yes they are very similar, but are "people" that replaceable? I don't think I would like the answer.

The Girl with All the Gifts, 2016 Colm McCarthy (Bagman) -- Amazon

Also rewatched The Last of Us TV series (still not writing about TV), based on the video game that came out around the same time as the short story from which this movie derives. Its hard to know if one spun off the other, as both deal with an apocalyptic plague after the cordyceps fugus jumps to humans turning the infected into ravening zombies, and both stories have a young girl who could be the hope for a turnaround, as long as you are OK with them being murdered ... for science. If I want to get pedantic about zombie sub-genres, and I usually do, its more "infected" than "zombie" as in both instances they are still living creatures that can die from too much traumatic force.

The first two acts of the movie really do it for me; an eerie introduction to the hungry kids who were found as newborns after eating their way out of their infected mothers, and the subsequent road story as the main characters escape from the collapse of their "safe" zone. The third act, which is properly apocalyptic, just bugs me for some reason... too nihilistic even for me? From the loss of the friendly soldier Kieran to the gnashy teeth of adolescents, to the true End of the World, I just felt depressed.

The Fall Guy, 2024 David Leitch (Bullet Train) -- Amazon

I just needed some light fare, and the movie warranted a rewatch purely for all the little fun bits and the charming cast members. I confirmed that though the movie's central plot is toss away, it is more than made up for by the wink-wink-nod-nod nature of the entire movie's construction. That the movie is based on a hammy 80s TV show and the plot is as much. That pretty much every big scene in the movie is a stunt within a stunt. That the first time I did not even know Teresa Palmer was in the movie, and this time I still did not recognize her as such. Hannah Waddingham is great, Stephanie Hsu is great, Winston Duke is great. Its a great Hollywood Hollywood movie and deserved more attention.

Casino Royale, 2006 Martin Campbell (Dirty Angels) -- Amazon
Quantum of Solace, 2008 Marc Forster (World War Z) -- Amazon
Skyfall, 2012 Sam Mendes (1917) -- Amazon
Spectre, 2015 Sam Mendes (Jarhead) -- Amazon
No Time to Die, 2021 Cary Joji Fukunaga (Beasts of No Nation) -- Amazon

Is it OK to say I watched this run of James Bond movies for Daniel Craig's brutally violent and ruggedly macho version of Bond? And yet, at the same time, I am turned off by his callous probably way over the misogynist line treatment of women. I mean, in the first two movies he gets two women killed, and there is no fine line on that he is purely using them to reach his goals. He seems to have a wink of regret but that is about as far as it goes. This doesn't even change much when he unabashedly loves a woman. James definitely has some clinical issues with women. Its good that there are at least a few that don't fall to his wiles, my favourite being Paloma, of course. Swoon.

I liked that he died in the last one, in that it gives this Era of Bond its own continuity, even if they shared an M with earlier movies. Despite recent murmurs of an attempt to break the mould (of who could play the next Bond), I don't think the current climate would stomach it, and my favourite suggestion (Idris Elba) might age out of the possibility before we could embrace it again. 

Slither, 2006 James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy) -- Amazon

"Leaving soon," the tag line on Amazon said. "Why not," I asked. Still love this gross, goofy, irreverent horror-comedy. I remember having a pang of sympathy for Grant ... Grant (yes, his name is Grant Grant) a few rewatches ago, but this time I just see a sad, controlling man who gets what's coming to him. 



Paddington, 2014 Paul King (Space Force) -- download
Paddington 2, 2017 Paul King (The Mighty Boosh) -- download

We were about to watch the new one, so we again thought, "Why not." Also, the political climate of late has added a solid lump of anxiety pain in the pit of our stomach and these movies are so full of moments to brightly smile at.

Repeatedly so. Non-stop. During the first one I just smiled and smiled and smiled. Not at the comedy meant for kids, like him cleaning out his ears with their toothbrushes, but the sweet nice stuff like the painting on the stairwell, or ... holey freholey, I never wrote about these movies when I first saw them!! So, stopping here, as these two deserve their own, must more written about post.

Sunday, May 1, 2022

I Saw This!! realiTyVgames

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(me) or Toasty attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But we can't not write cuz that would be bad, very bad.  Florida governor bad.

One thing we haven't written much about on this blog is realityTV, specifically competition shows.  I know I'm not a huge fan, and I suspect Toasty is similarly averse to the genre.  I think in recent years I've started watching more competition shows than ever, by which I mean, a couple, versus none.  I recall dabbling in early seasons of Survivor and Trading Spaces and American Idol and Project:Runway but at a certain point I realized that these competition shows were just empty calories, and not even all that delicious calories...like eating veggie straws when you could just have had potato chips, or caramel corn, or a fruit salad. I'm feeling peckish and losing the thread here.  In recent years, we've watched all of Nailed It! on Netflix, easily the most entertaining baking competition show out there, because the whole point is bad bakers trying their best, and having fun while doing it.  We've also watched Lego Masters which, given that we're obscenely ridiculous toy people in this household (I'm watching a youtube video about action figure news as I write this), is not that suprising, but I was surprised to find how engaged I was with the show, which is not very much about the personality politics and all about building cool Lego diaramas.

So, we partook in a few other reality competitions in the past couple months... more in such a short time than ever...let's just talk about it....

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LOL Canada - AmazonPrime


I started in on Last One Laughing Canada out of sheer curiosity.  Given that I'm a comedy lover, I wanted to know who from the Canadian comedy scene would wind up on this reality competition show (and would it be funny, or just sad?).  Well, a completely godawful introduction let me know, and, I was quite surprised that I knew everyone involved, save one ( Brandon Ash-Mohammed) and liked pretty much everyone. The crux of the show is putting 10 comedians in a room for 6 hours (edited down to about 3 hours over six episodes) and telling them they can't laugh, or even smile.  The last one left wins a pile of money for charity.  There are rules, but the basics basically is no laughing, no smiling, one warning, then you're out.

The "LOL" formulae was developed from a Japanese game show but now seems to be an Amazon brand which has, currently, 9 different international versions on the streamer, including Australia, German, France, Spain, and India, with a Quebec version forthcoming (surprised there's no US or UK version yet).

With host Jay Baruchel the competing comedians were Drew Barrymore's ex-husband Tom Green, Kim's Convenience co-star Andrew Phung, Whose Line is it Anyways legend Colin Mochrie, Kids in the Hall's Dave Foley, comedian (and ex-pat living in the UK) Mae Martin, "America's Sweetheart" Caroline Rhea, one of my favourite live stand-ups Debra DiGiovanni, The League's Jon Lajoie (whom our dog Taco was named after) and Letterkenny's K. Trevor Wilson joining Ash-Mohammad.

The thing about comedians is a lot of them don't laugh at comedy, they analyze it, they deconstruct it as they see it, like a magician trying understand how another magician's trick works.  A lot of them have a severe poker face.  But the flip side is there's some of those comedians that just love to laugh, so those ones are out almost immediately.

What I wasn't expecting was Tom Green. It's been so long since I have engaged in Green's absurdist shenanigans that I forgot how good he was at that sort of thing.  He got a lot of miles out "delicious cheese sandwiches" (maybe too much mileage). And here he's kind of in his element, just able to be his weird self. Lajoie was easily my favourite competitor, as he had tactics for not laughing, which were tremendously funny on their own.  Mmm. Mmmhmm.  Ash-Mohammad's seductive sunscreen application was something absolutely special to behold, and Mochrie is such a seasoned improv pro that almost everything he does is so good.  Foley seemed to be completely disinterested in the whole thing, even after he was ejected, while Rhea came prepared to laugh, which was kind of the antithesis of the show (rolling out in her teen daughter's wardrobe was a pretty good bit though).

I laughed a lot, and enjoyed spending time with pretty much everyone, and I found the format worked quite well as a competition, really drawing the viewer through from episode to episode, but the unstructured room with hack comedy props is little too malformed for high quality comedy.  The good thing is at 6 sub-1/2 hour episodes it didn't overstay its welcome.

LOL Australia - AmazonPrime 


As I started this post writing about the Canadian version, put the Australian version of Last One Lauging - hosted by Rebel Wilson - on in the background, kind of as an experiment to see if the show would still work even if I didn't know the personalities involved.  I only know a couple of the comedians, mainly host Wilson and absurdist Sam Simmons (who I wrote about here during 2013's JFL42 festival, the one year I deigned to write about stand-up comedy on the blog) but the format proved itself to be just as attractive and entertaining, even if the personalities involved were a bit more alien. 

It's still a fairly funny show, but there's definitely some cultural differences that bubbled up to the fore.  For starters, the Aussies are much more brutal and cutting, like they were treating the room as a place to roast each other, really dig into their careers and, in some ways, let their petty jealousies bubble up to the surface in unflattering ways, that, I guess were meant to be comedy (the thing about roasting is it's only funny if everyone's laughing together, otherwise it just feels mean, and the whole point here is to not laugh, so nobody's laughing).  The Canadians all seemed genuinely respectful of one another, even if they didn't quite know each other.  The elder statesmen, the ones who had gone off to temporarily bigger careers in the States, they were still generally kind to the younger set.  Australia is roughly the same population density as Canada, but where they're situated in the world they're the big English-speaking market (with New Zealand being their Canada), so there's no where to go as an elevation unless you're willing to make the huge leap to the States or UK.  As such it's a tinier, more insular market, everyone knows each other on this show, but there's much more of a competitive spirit between them all.  And throw in $100,000 prize (not for charity, but for the winner) it's certainly a bit more cutthroat.

Another standout in comparison was the Australians' reliance upon dick and bum jokes.  So many bum jokes. I think half the gags here were about bums.  There's got to be some sort of cultural obsession with the ol' hiney Down Under (well, I guess "down under" is basically a butt euphamism as is, so perhaps it makes some sense).  There was quite a bit more lewdness in the Aussie LOL, and maybe an overreliance on cheap theatrics.

It was funny to see that there's a few archetypes that bubble up.  There's the seasoned improv vet, (Mochrie in Canada, Frank Woodley in Australia), the almost-as-seasoned absurdist (Green vs Simmons), the one who distances themselves from it all (Foley vs the almost entirely unengaged Ed Kavalee, making Foley look positively enthusiastic by comparison), the young buck going deep against the vets (Ash-Mohammad vs Nazeem Hussain) and the anti-laugh tactician (LaJoie vs  Dilruk Jayasinha).

Even comparing the hosts, Wilson was much more passive than Baruchel, who seemed to want to insert himself into the happenings as much as possible. The Canadian version also had some games and special guests inserted into the proceedings which made for a bit more entertainment and sense of structure, where there was little else but chaos in Australia.  

But then Sam Simmons was on the attack from moment one in the show, and didn't let up for anything.  My recollection of him as a live performer was that he would do anything, shamelessly, and his sense of comedy crossed the entire spectrum, but here he was mostly focussed on shock-and-awe.  By the end of the show the room looked like a bodega had exploded, like a rock star's hotel room after a coke-fuelled bender, and most of that chaos could be attributed to Simmons.  His go-for-broke, no shame comedy started minutes into the show as he stepped out from behind the change room curtain, music blaring, to perform a wild dance wearing a leather jacked with over a dozen stretchy rubber dick-and-balls stitched on it, which he then proceeded to tug and stretch and fillate in a manic fit along with the hyper music.  And that's where he started his onslaught.

Just past the halfway point, there fell a spastic sense of desperation among the remaining competitors which only seemed to heighten as more were eliminated.  It was less funny and more interesting from a sociological standpoint, as these people who feed off laughs started going absolutely mental, seemingly for hours going "is this funny?" over and over.  That sort of desperation was only flirted with in the Canadian one, but the same sense of "this is a form of torture" seemed to overcome them as well.

I didn't come out of it with a healthier appreciation for the Aussie comedy scene...there was a lot of weaksauce efforts in that room of unfamiliar personalities, but the few standouts really stood out.  Woodley, Simmons, Becky Lucas, and Dilruk Jayasinha I think were tops for me. 

I don't think I'll give any of the other foreign language versions a try.  Comedy is so much in the delivery and the delivery is shot when you're trying to do it through subtitles.

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Best In Miniature - CBC Gem


Another Canadian competition show, though a lot less calmer and gentler than LOL Canada, and much more in the vein of Lego Masters (and I'm sure all those damn baking shows that other people seem to love), where the production cares much less about personalities and backstories, and instead is much more focused on skills.  In this case it's people who create miniatures, dollhouses and accessories.

There is an amazing amount of skill, experience and creativity involved in miniaturing, and the competitors, ranging from only a couple years to decades of experience, each show their own personality in their art.  The competitors hail from the US, Canada, and the U.K., and they seemed to have some form of on-line presence and be largely familiar with one another through social media, some having even bought pieces off the others.

The first episode's challenge is building a dollhouse and it immediately shows the strengths and styles of each of the artists, but also very, very quickly exposes their weaknesses.  Subsequent episodes feature a mini-challenge, where they have to create a small piece in less than an hour, which they are then judged on by the show's experts (one a miniatures expert, the other a design expert), and then they have a specific challenge working in one of their rooms for up to 10 hours.  Each room has to meet some specific design challenges that are foisted upon them, as well as feel a part of the overall aesthetic of the house.

I was impressed, constantly, every episode by everyone, some more than others, but just agog with how cool and amazing and talented these people are at making such a broad spectrum of items.  While some had specialties, most were still able to adapt and create what was needed even if they weren't intimately familiar with the how to.  Plus as the competitors were winnowed down, the more fine and precise the work got, the more impressive it all was.

I enjoyed this show tremendously, very little of which had to do with personalities, except in how they came out in their art.  It was such a low-stakes, low-drama, competition that it was a soothing, relaxing and utterly transfixing watch.  I would like more, but I may also just watch again.

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Is it Cake? - Netflix


Shows based of memes are maybe not the best idea, and Is It Cake? is a fudging mess of a game show.  The format of the show is so bizarre and kind of so antithetical to the way almost any other competition show is done that I have to wonder if it's just ahead of its time, or if it's really just a train wreck.

Hosted by Saturday Night Live's Mikey Day, the premise of the show is three bakers compete in creating a cake that looks like something else, then each cake is put up on a podium against 5 other non-cakes of the same item, and a panel of three "celebrity" (some are minorly famous, some are like specific famous, and some are just internet famous) guests have to come to consensus in 20 seconds on which one is cake.  

But that's just the high level structure...it gets really, really weird the more you dig into it.

The show starts with 9 competitors.  After a round of "Is it cake?", where a variety of random items on podiums - one of them cake - is displayed, and eveyone gets a chance to choose.  If there's a tie, the fastest answer wins.  Kind of a weird system there.  But then, the winner gets to choose two others from the stable.  They each then choose one of the non-cake items for them to replicate in cake form.  The other 6 competitors just go to a bench on the side and...sit there, for 8 hours, while the three competitors bake and make their fake cake.  So bizarre.

AFTER the judging, if the judges were fooled by more than one cake, the judges then have to pick the winner based on how real the cake looks up close and how good the cake tastes.  Then the winner gets a chance to win some prize money by playing "Cake or Cash" where two items looking almost exactly the same are presented, only one is cake, the other is cash.  If they guess which is cake, they win cash.

The following episode, the winner of the previous episode picks two more contestants (from the pool who haven't already been chosen), they play a round of "Is it cake?" with the random items, pick their item to cake fake replicate and go through it all over again.  It's clunky as clunky can be as far as a competition show goes, and yet, it's kinda stupidly entertaining.  It's absurd they have people sitting around for 8 hours while people bake cakes, but that's what happens.  

The contestants, however, are all rather supportive of each other, and all very into discussing techniques, and approaches, and flavours and whatnot.  It's always nice these competition shows where the competitors really are just happy to trade knowledge and appreciate each others' skills.

Likewise, it's fun watching Day's hacking into things that are - and are not - cake.  And the brief moments of deciding whether something is or isn't cake is still a challenge even though you've just watched 20 minutes of the cake being made, the show edits it enough that when it comes time to guess it's still fun for the audience (but it comes at the expense of getting into finer detail on how the cake was made).

Every episode I couldn't believe I was still watching it, and yet, I wanted to watch more after each episode was over.  It's incredibly stupid (and a HUGE waste of food...where does all that cake Day mangles wind up?) and it's such a silly premise, but I enjoyed it despite myself.

Thursday, August 26, 2021

We Agree: The Tomorrow War

2021, d. Chris McKay -- amazonprime


As Toasty referenced in his review I have a theory that The Tomorrow War was originally intended as a trilogy but then had its trilogy compressed all compressed into one film.

While there is something to be said about compressed storytelling, this jumps far too fast through both the themes and story, and narratively each act takes a sharp 90 degree turn from the previous.

The first act is really strong. It sets up Pratt as a veteran who is trying to find a good job in the sciences but is relegated to teaching, and he's discontent. He's got a wonderful family (Betty Gilpin in a thankless wife role), but is estranged from his father (JK Simmons), a Viet Nam vet who abandoned him when he was younger. 

Suddenly one evening soldiers arrive (literally in the middle of a football game) from the future, explaining their plight, and recruiting people across the globe to come fight an invasive alien species three decades ahead in time. 

A year later all the acceptable volunteers (the people who can be moved to the future without disrupting the timeline) have been exhausted (read: killed in battle, wounded, or traumatized), and now a draft finds Pratt on the block.  He meets his squad, a couple military (including some Tomorrow War) veterans, but mostly hapless civilians.  They're given no training.  There's no time for training. They head to the future on a mission that goes very, very poorly.

The alien "white spikes" are seriously scary in this first act. The whole first 45-ish minutes builds in creepy, uneasy intensity until we encounter them.  While they're not  completely unstoppable, they are very difficult to kill and they move in such large numbers making the odds always in their favor. 

The draftees are basically stopgaps, bodies meant to buy time for other, more experienced combat teams.  There's a stomach churning sense that so many lives are disposable, but when it comes to war it's less about humanity and more about numbers.  Comedic personas like Nick Wiger, Sam Richardson and Mary Lynn Rajskub make the center of this crew, and once again, if this first act were an entire film, there would be more action sequences, with more pauses to really build these characters out, build up their comraderie, and really make some of their deaths very impactful.

But, the film as it is moves pretty briskly past most of that.  In failing in their objective, with Pratt as one of the few survivors, he his daughter's future self, the woman in charge of his mission.

Thus the second act begins with the daughter and her father from whom she has been estranged bonding over both science and life and death situations, with Pratt learning that he eventually became like his own father.  They dance around why she's so upset with him for only so long, but I like the concept of exploring generational trauma, how JK Simmons' Viet Nam trauma impacted Pratt, and thus how Pratt's various service trauma impacted his daughter, all with repeating patterns (likely Simmons' father served in WWII and had his own trauma).

But the film though casting a glance at exploring generational trauma has no time to really get into it.  The production is all done well enough that we can feel the emotional connection as well as the hurt, but it never gets deep enough.

This second act also completely defangs the "white spikes".  They capture one of the creatures at the beginning of the act and then proceed to experiment on it, but this study of the creature is competing for time with the father-daughter issues, as well as the ticking clock of their base about to be swarmed.

There's room enough for an entire film in this second act.  Not only could it expand upon its secondary characters from the previous act (who were all either killed or sent off on their own mission(s) which we never, ever see) but it could really work through the discovery process on the white spikes zoologically.  I could see a whole mission which is just "observe and report" that would be less action, more suspense.  A slower breakdown of the aliens could also still potentially maintain their scariness, instead of having to broad-daylight them as much as they do here.  By the end the white spikes are more white noise than the stuff of nightmares.

The third act find Pratt returning home to his own time, and it's clear he's been traumatized by his experience.  The prediction that he becomes like his own father starts to manifest, but it's almost like it's a dismissive montage rather than a genuine exploration of PTSD.  Not only should there be scarring, and grieving, but also a pervasive sense of hopelessness for a moribund future (hey, sound familiar?).  

If this were a full third film, it could really get into these themes of trauma and nihilism and their impact upon the family.  It could have done some really good work in showing what soldiers with PTSD need to go through to maybe never recover, but just cope.  It could examine the way society treats its veterans, and work it all into a big action franchise.

What this third act does instead is really smooth over the trauma, reconcile Pratt and Simmons far too easily, and reconnect with characters last seen at the start of the second act in an almost superfluous way.  There was a real opportunity to show men dealing with their problems, and emotions, together, and they completely muffed it.  

[Minor spoiler]

The third act reveals that the aliens are dormant in the modern day, frozen under ice.  So Pratt and Simmons and others form a plan to go blow them up.  This "plan" is all discovered, conceived, and initiated in less than ten minutes.  There's no sense of build up, there's no tension, only inevitability.  The film has no runway to get into Pratt and Simmon's relationship, or Pratt and Gilpin's marriage, never mind deliver any sense of adventure to their discovery. 

In its own film the search, the discovery and the planning/execution could handily satisfy three acts, and do some incredible world building along the way. We never get to really feel the impact of time travel on the "present day" of the film.   We never really get to feel the effects of so many lives lost on a war that seems far more conceptual than tangible.  We really don't get to know what the people left behind experience.  The film we have has no time for it.

The third act should resolve the emotional connective threads, and it picks at it a bit, but amid its action focus it doesn't have time to really dig into it.

As a whole The Tomorrow War is decent yet unsatisfying entertainment.  The first act is stellar but followed up with diminishing returns, unable to deliver on all the threads it sets up.  It needed another 8 more acts to really flesh it all out.

I also think that Gilpin and Pratt should have switched roles.  I think the film would have worked far better with her in the lead.  Have you seen The Hunt, she can hold down an action film no problem.


Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Xmas Leftovers

Sometimes we only wind up catching parts of Hallmark(esque) films, either because we joined late, left early, or just had better things to watch. Sometimes we watch the whole thing but get too drunk to write big long things about them.

Here are some of those partial/impaired viewings:

Christmas Perfection (2018, Lifetime): Darcy's parents had a rocky marriage and she used to fantasize about the perfect Irish Christmas as a child.  As an adult she's got these Irish village Christmas decorations, and after a fraught Christmas dinner, she winds up in the village, her toy village come to life, where everyday is the perfect Christmas.  There's a kind of Groundhog's Day loop happening, but everyone knows that yesterday was Christmas and tomorrow is Christmas.  I stopped watching when her best friend found his way into town, the best friend whom she's been avoiding having any romantic feelings about for years.  Honestly, this should have been far more entertaining and intriguing than it wound up.  The "Irish village" was populated by mostly non-Irish actors crafting very bad accents (only the actress playing the mom had a genuine accent).  The "perfect boyfriend" character in the village seemed to model his lilt off of one very specific Colin Ferrell moment in Daredevil or something.  He delivered EVERY LINE the exact same way.  Nails on a chalkboard.  This should have been a horror movie.  It felt very insidious, and yet we were supposed to take Christmas feels away from it.  Made in 2018, looks like 2002. Bleh, turned off after 40 minutes.  No thank you.

The Christmas Train (2017, Hallmark): the one wherein Hallmark tries to make a real movie.  A writer/journalist (Dermot Mulroney) is taking the Christmas Train from New York to LA as a means of delaying his purpose of breaking up with his part-time girlfriend.  He's using the trip to craft an article, and starts connecting with the other train passengers (well, not really, Mulroney is sleepwalking through this whole damn thing).  Turns out one of his passengers is a famous director, played by a strangely committed Danny Glover, and his assistant who just happens to be Mulroney's lost love.  They rekindle their passion while engaging with the other train passengers and having romantic outings in the cities where they stopover.  Turns out someone on the train is stealing stuff, and there's some other weird things afoot. Complication, the on-again-off-again girlfriend shows up on the train anticipating a proposal! How can that be? Then when moving past Colorado, an avalanche snows the train in just out of communication with headquarters. They're going to freeze if they don't figure something.  They do. And Mulroney lets the part-time gf down easy, and promises his undying love and slow dancing to the other one.  And then we learn it's all been a big set-up that Danny Glover produced...most of it, minus the avalanche.  It's so dumb.  So dumb.  And wastes Joan Cusack something fierce.

Christmas at the Plaza (2019, Hallmark): By the time December rolled around Hallmark had been airing its new slate of movies for just over a month.  At that stage, the Deck the Hallmark (a delightful podcast where three South Carolinian goofballs cover every new Hallmark movie each season) boys had ranked Christmas at the Plaza as their tops (or near the tops) for the year.  They were effusively gushing about this thing.  Even the hater, Dan, seemed to like this one.  I had no interest until I heard the podcast episode and suddenly it became required watching.
I'm not quite sure what it was they saw in this (I mean, they said on their podcast what it was), but I certainly didn't see it, and I did not connect with this movie. At. All. Well ok, maybe just a little.
Elizabeth Henstridge (Simmons from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) makes her Hallmark debut as Jessica, a historian, specializing in Christmas decorations.  She gets commissioned by the famed New York Plaza Hotel to set up a historical retrospective Christmas display, working with Nick (Ryan Paevey), a contractor who runs a Christmas decorating service (that's got to be a solid year-round gig, no?).  Jessica locks in on the subject of the Plaza's tradition of having a unique, custom-made tree topper (or finial d'arbre, as they so poshly call it) each year.  The film gets its plusses by focusing as much, if not more on the mystery of a missing tree-topper, as it does on the wooing Nick does of Jessica.  The mystery is decent, but a little easy.  The relationship on the other hand, doesn't seem like much of a match.  It seems like nick sees wooing Jessica as a bit of a challenge, given that she's already got a erudite boyfriend who has no genuine interest in her.  For a Hallmark, this one looks good and avoids most of the usual cliches, so it's one notch above the common HM riff-raff, but I didn't feel any connection between Henstridge an Paevey at all and I didn't get the connection the story was trying to sell.  And I was distracted by Henstridge's American accent throughout (perhaps she was too).  This one's really just mediocre, you guys.
P.S. Also not enough Nelson Wong as Kenny Kwan, a bit character he's played in over a dozen movies now (including The Christmas Train and Angel of Christmas...basically anything Ron Oliver is directing). 

Merry & Bright (2019, Hallmark): Because one former Full House child star wasn't enough, we have to get...umm... the middle one who wasn't DJ or Michelle... you know, the forgettable one... anyway, her... we have to get her starring in Hallmarks now?  I guess they had to replace Aunt Becky with someone else from that show?  Blerg.  Anyway.  This one is so conventional.  Whatsherface inherited the Merry & Bright Candy Cane Company from someone in her family and is trying to turn its dwindling fates around.  The board of directors, lacking faith in their new CEO, hires a big-town corporate recovery big wig who comes to town in the form of Hallmark hunk of the decade Andrew Walker, you know, the guy who is CW superhero good looking.  There's some merry mix ups at first, and some misunderstandings and s ome stupid plan to make chocolates (making chocolate and making hard candy are not even close to being the same thing).  It's the usual PST that these things take place in, one where Christmas is celebrated to the nth degree.  Walker's business bro is the child of a chilly family and not full of the festive spirit, so while it's up to him to help turn business around, it's up to her to turn him around.  A trip to NYC provides insight into the handsome man's less than perfect life and whatshername learns to trust her instincts.  This one is utterly bad.  There's no chemistry between him and her, and the relationship/attraction never makes any sense (also, I don't want to be *that* guy, but she's just not in his league).  And mom gets some bullshit B-plot about taking care of a puppy.  This one is just ridiculously bad.  Which means it's great fun to get drunk to and make fun of.

Holiday Date (2019, Hallmark) - only caught the second half, but wasn't as downright awful as I think people were bracing for, given the pre-controvercy around the suspected anti-semitism... it's just "not great".  So I missed the set-up where Brooke is dumped before Christmas and enlists Joel to pretend to be her ex-boyfriend, Ethan.  Since I missed the set-up, I'm not entirely sure what the pressure on Brooke was to have a boyfriend/bring one home for the holidays, but regardless, any pressure or expectation in this matter is bullshit, whether it stems from her family or Brooke herself.  You don't need a man to feel fulfilled Brooke.  Anyway, where we stepped in, the family had already unveiled that "Ethan" is Jewish and, Mom (Hallmark-esque mainstay and Stargate SG-1 lead Teryl Rothery) makes a decided effort to add Hanukkah traditions to their family.  Whether it's a little over-compensating or not...well...it is.  Things get complicated when someone posts a Tweeters of "Ethan" and Brooke and real Ethan shows up.  Two Ethans! Crazy pants.  Also I guess Brooke told her family they were engaged and Mom hunted down called real Ethan's family who were very confused by the news (Mom's a real excitable go-getter).  Then the family finds out Ethan is just a very good actor named Joel, just as he's about to come clean to them... but he and Brook are now really in love or something, and Joel now loves Christmas which is all any parents want for a partner for their child, right?  Joel performs in a local Christmas pageant and steals the show... from children.  It's not great, this one, but I guess points for trying?  The fact that the family (well, Mom) adopts Hanukkah as much as Joel adopts Christmas is ... something? Hallmark is very insistent that Christmas be for everyone, and so I think that all their films, for the foreseeable future, that feature Jewish characters (see also The Christmas Club) will have them embracing Christmas.  As far as Hallmark leads go, though, Matt Cohen is really charming and one of the better male leads this year, Brittany Bristow much less so (perhaps it's because we get zero sense of who Brooke is or her motivation in the second half...she's just totally devoid of character).  Bruce Boxleitner sleepily cashes his paycheck as Brooke's dad.

Hope at Christmas (2018, Hallmark) - Joined this one halfway through to find the most banal and rote Hallmark story.  Scottie Thompson (not the Kids in the Hall one) plays Sydney... wait a minute... she's NOT named HOPE? Dropped the ball on this one Hallmark.  Anyway, where we come in we find Ray, her daughter sad that Mac, a school teacher, didn't show up for some thing he was supposed to show up to.  Sydney is pissed, but, you know, "Hallmark pissed" which means "mostly sad and self-conscious".  Mac manages to smooth things over, for it's a little known fact that Mac plays the town Santa and Ray has been feeding Santa all sorts of dirt on her mom, which Mac then uses to woo this apparently fresh-on-the-market cougar.  It's a rare case where the single parent is a single parent as a result of divorce and not a dead spouse.  Having a dead spouse makes things so much less complicated story-wise.  However, at least in the second half, the ex has zero impact on the story, except to say that Ray is maybe supposed to go to her dad's for Christmas but wants to stay in (checks notes) Hopewell (I guess *this* is the "hope" at Christmas?).  There's some bullshit about a beloved bookstore that's getting sold and turned into condos which we all know Sydney is going to buy right at the last minute, and of course she's going to choose this small-town meager life over the big city executive position she's been offered, because the subtext of Hallmark movies is that small town women who have never had a real career shouldn't feel bad about themselves, moreover big city women with big-time jobs are doing it all wrong.  Shame your neighbor, it's the American way.  And then there's that scene where a Christmas tree exploded in the book store and Mac is all out of fresh trees, so Sydney enlists child labor to build a tree out of books.  The book-tree display is actually pretty nice, but I'm not sure what kind of hate crime or act of sabotage happened to the tree earlier (they said the stand broke, but I don't buy it).  Anyway, since Sydney isn't taking the New York job and buying the bookstore, she can now be with schoolteacher/santa/tree farmer Mac, and Ray has a new daddy and old daddy can go suck lemons with Sam Page.  Oh, and special appearance from Kenny Kwan (which must mean this is a Ron Oliver joint)!

Christmas Under the Stars (2019, Hallmark) - Nick who was the boy toy poolboy from Desperate Housewives is a big time account manager at an investment firm however his gains (ferda!) haven't been good this year and he's fired, at Christmas.  He stumbles onto a Christmas Tree lot to gain sage advice and a seasonal job offer from Clarke fucking Peters (The Wire and, currently, His Dark Materials). Nick rejects it initially but reconsiders after meeting single mom Julie (an astronomy teacher, you know, like there is everywhere...they really needed to shoehorn in the "stars" connection) and her son (adopted) Matt.  Nick is supposed to be a self-centered Wall Street douche, but these HM movies rarely commit to making their leads unlikeable at the start, and as such, their big transformation into altruistic Christmas-and-family-loving people never really feels like much of a big deal.  The tree lot, which has been there for decades, is under threat from a developer, but Nick using his investment bankering know-how saves the day by finding himself a job at a socially conscious investment firm. And, in doing so, he made his dad proud of him mending their strained relationship (which only seemed strained based on misconceptions Nick had about his dad's expectations).  This one was a rare HM that was mostly focused on the dude's journey... not that that made it any better.  No, what made it better was Clarke fucking Peters. He was gold in almost every scene, in an otherwise rote, lower-middle-of-the-road Christmas romance.  I want a Hallmark film that features a seniors, mixed-race romance between Clarke Peters and the husky-voiced mom from The Christmas Club next year. Break some ground Hallmark!

Two Turtle Doves (2019, Hallmark) - This one was getting a lot of raves from Hallmark aficionados, since it "deals" with grief. Nikki DeLoach stars as Dr Sharon Hayes, a big time neurosurgeon who is looking for a research grant to make some big gains (ferda) in neuroscience.  She returns home to deal with her parents estate after their death (but it's been almost a year and she's been too busy to do anything until now), to find her mother's list of 12 Christmas traditions which she sets out to do in her honor. Her parents estate attorney and next door neighbor Michael Rady is Sam, a recent widower and single father.  His daughter becomes enamored with Dr Sharon's Christmas traditions and all three start spending time together becoming a defacto family for the holidays.  Apparently they heal their grief through the magic of Christmas but for all the lofty talk about it dealing with death and sadness, it doesn't really, except in that condensed, not-get-too-heavy-and-distract-from-Christmas kind of way. Maybe I would be more charitable if Rady played Sam with any semblance of emotion. Watching DeLoach's sweet charm but against Rady's Data-from-Star Trek impersonation was, frankly, annoying to watch. The girl playing the daughter was great, though, and her and DeLoach had chemistry for miles.  But I hate the trope if these movies where the real connection is between the adult and the kid and the romantic connection between the adult leads is underexplored or non-existent. Dr. Sharon gets her research grant, by the way and decided to stay at her parents place while working on her research so she can explore the relationship with the little wooden boy next door.

Snow (2004, ABC Family) - Nick (Tom Cavanaugh - Ed, The Flash) is the latest in his family lineage to take on the persona of Santa Claus.  There's a whole curse-turns-to-joyous-redemption backstory that Is explained mid-way through the film which I quite like (unfortunately, due to budget limitations it's a tell-don't-show situation). One of Nick's reindeer, Buddy, wanders off and gets poached and then sold to the San Ernesto zoo where Sandy (Hallmark princess Ashley Williams) works.  The poacher, Buck, is a real DB (douchebag) who wants to be Sandy's DB (Dick Boyfriend) and she has to constantly rebuff his advances ("Ew" as she likes to say).  It's totally gross pre-Me Too shit where she rebuffs him but still has to be nice about it for some reason.  Anyway, Nick winds up at the zoo looking for Buddy, immediately falls for Sandy, and starts weaseling his way into her life unintentionally. He's a total weirdo but he's sweet and friendly and polite and non-agressive. It's weird that she would find Nick attractive at all, but then again, next to Buck, he's a gold star.  There's a whole boarding house living situation that I didn't quite understand, but it was a sweet environment that brought people together in the film and made for a rather great ensemble of Canadian character actors. I won't work my way through the rest of the plot, suffice it to say that it plays out as so many family adventure/minor-fantasy movies do.  It's certainly not without it's charms, as rote as it is.  The cast is uniformly great, which elevates it from the usual cheap made-for-TV family movie fare.  It was made in 2004 but looks like it was made a decade earlier, such that the sequel, made 4 years later, looks like it was made 20 years later.  In the second film, only a year has passed, but everything looks so much better.

In Snow 2:Brain Freeze Sandy is finding life at the North Pole at Christmas less than ideal.  She's spending the holidays mostly by herself as Nick's preparations for Christmas keep him too busy to relax.  A year later is the magic in their relationship gone already? Does she regret giving up her life to be Mrs. Claus (well, Snowden, actually, is the family name)? No, she just wants Nick to take a little breather and enjoy himself at Christmas too.  Nick unfortunately has to learn list lesson the hard way, when he gets conked on the head and loses his memory in the real world with only a few days left before Christmas.  Sandy needs to learn some of Santa's magic in order to find Nick, while Nick receives help from a street urchin and an old man who seems to have some connection to him.  Buck also returns, having seen Nick on the news, and plots his revenge.  This takes a lot of big swings at trying to have grander adventure and mystery, with a whole secret society angle but it doesn't quite stick the landing.  Things happen mostly in a low-budget made-for-TV family movie kind of way which is disappointing, as there were certainly openings for some bigger things to happen.  Ashley Williams is delightful, which probably means I'm going to have to backtrack on her entry in this year's Hallmark Countdown to Christmas Holiday Hearts.

And so a few days later I found Holiday Hearts (2019, Hallmark) back on the tele, entering in at the exact same point I did in my previous viewing.  Here we have Ashley Williams and Paul Campbell who are, for some reason which I still have not discovered (since I keep missing the set-up), looking after young Lily, whose mother died (but, like, not too recently) and whose father is going in for knee surgery (which from what I've heard is typically an out-patient or next-day release, but seems to take a week or longer here).  Anyway, I'm not sure why the two of them have to co-babysit this 7-year-old leading into Christmas, but townie Peyton (Williams) and returning townie Ben (Campbell) start to develop (rekindle?) an attraction to each other and their faux domestic situation.  Peyton, meanwhile, is attempting to leave behind the dull world of accounting and tries her hand at party planning/interior decoration (eg. "the Hallmark dream job") her family business' big Christmas Gala (they run an inn, named after their family name, "Canaday".  So when they say the Canaday Christmas Gala it sounds to my Canadian ears like "Canada Day Christmas Gala...Canada Day being our fair country's birthday on July 1, nowhere near Christmas).  It doesn't go well, until it does.  Ben, meanwhile, has been lying about going to Honduras for vacation (you know that totally happening vacation spot, Honduras), and instead is actually going on a 3-year sojourn with off-brand Doctors Without Borders, "Doctor's Care International".  Anyway, of course they figure it out and share a kiss at the party.  The verdict: I don't get it.  The whole set-up, the whole execution, it doesn't make any sense.  I'm obviously missing the context of the set-up. Oh and there's that one scene where Williams is wearing a v-neck sweater backwards for some reason, probably because it was showing too much skin for Hallmark and they just made her turn it around. In the past two months I've watched so many movies with Williams and I absolutely adore her, but this one is no good.

The wife and I rang in Christmas with A Dream of Christmas, (after our traditional viewing of the Community Christmas episodes) the Hallmark where Nikki DeLoach is having doubts about her marriage and a Christmas Witch overhears and makes her wish of having never gotten married come true.  Waking up in a completely different life Penny (DeLoach) and her sister Nikki (not DeLoach) are both single, and upwardly mobile people.  Penny is called "the Barracuda" in her role as VP of Marketing at an advertising firm, because she's such a badass bitch, but the alternate reality Penny is more of a guppy than a big bad fish.  She starts to get the hang of her new boss life, but can't shake the fact that she misses her sappy photographer husband Stu (Andrew Walker).  She starts to consider a life without him and starts making moon faces with her new client Andrew (not Walker) only to learn he's a total corporate d-bag.  So for the first half of the film Penny tries to adjust to her new life (and ignore the fact that not only did she completely write out of existence her relationship, her sister's relationship, but also her niece and nephew), and the second half is all about her trying to woo Stu while dodging Andrew's gross advances/threats.  I swear Andrew wants to hunt Stu for sport.  He seems like that kind of guy.  Anyway, with ten minutes left in the picture there's a big party where Penny makes her last big play to see if Stu is into here, when we learn Stu has a fiancee (she seems nice, except that she doesn't support Stu's dreams like Penny did in her other, more miserable life, and she just wishes he would buckle down and be a corporate stooge).  Nikki tries one more time, 5 minutes later, at a Christmas tree lot on Christmas Eve, to see if Stu will fall in love with her, but no, he's too good a guy to just ditch his fiancee, and in another life they maybe would have found each other.  Great ending, except, it was all a "dream", or rather, a concussion induced hallucination that Penny was having after falling off that stool.  This should be titled Christmas in Emerg.  Oh, and also, Penny's whole angle for Andrew's company was a complete rebranding of his department store franchise, introducing the new smash hit concept of "Christmas in a Box" WITH 12 FUCKING DAYS LEFT TO GO BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!  If it wasn't for the Christmas Witch popping up over and over again, that would be the other sign this was a big ol' fantasy.  This movie tried to do something different, but it's like an Olympic speed walker trying his hand at the 200 meter hurdles, it's just not their forte.


Friday, March 22, 2019

3 Short Paragraphs: You Might Be the Killer

2018, Brett Simmons (Animal) -- Shudder

A couple of years ago Chuck Wendig (author, Zer0es)) and Sam Sykes (author, Aeons' Gate series) wrote an epic Twitter conversation that went viral. The format was Sam, a new camp counsellor, was reaching out to his friend Chuck on how to deal with a murder spree at his camp. Through the pithy back n forth inherent in Twitter, they explored and subverted the tropes of the summer camp slasher movies. It was kind of brilliant and right down my dark, dead end alley.

And then someone decided to make a movie about it, starring Fran Kranz (Cabin in the Woods) and Alyson Hannigan (BtVS) as Sam and Chuck, respectively. Kranz gets to be Sam the (now) seasoned camp counsellor and Alyson is Chuck, who works at a local popculture store -- you know, those places that have evolved out of the neighbourhood comic store, selling all sorts of genre collectibles, games and comics. She's the horror trope expert being sought advice from. Someone is killing all of Sam's fellow camp counsellors, and he is not sure what to do. There is also the issue of his headaches and that he is covered in blood.

This is a fun little movie, about par with much of the genre it is exploring. Being all meta like, it is more chuckle worthy than scary, but it still is able to pull a good amount of tension and anticipation from what should be a pretty straight forward story. Without giving too much away, we end up not really sure if we should root for Sam (the idiot who put on the evil mask) or let him become the "victim" of the Final Girl. Given that I am treating horror-focused streaming service Shudder like my corner video store, where spending $3.99 for an OK movie was fine & dandy, I was happy with the movie even if it was not revolutionary.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

JFL42 Comedy Festival 2013

Last year's JFL42 festival of comedy started off on a wrong note with a horrendous delay in getting the festival passes after ordering.  Coupled with the confusion about how the festival works and not having a usable smart phone to effectively check in and reserve shows, there was a lot it had to overcome to make it worthwhile.  What it has was some damn incredible comedeians and the more shows you take in the more value you get out of the festival pass.

It was an easy decision to do it again this year, particularly when discovering the early announced line-up included four of my favourite acts (Mulaney, Kinane, Maron and Burress) with two of the headliners (Silverman and Ansari) vying for my headliner selection.  The ticket ordering process this year went incredibly smoothly, with my festival pass arriving within hours and buying a pass for my wife at the same time required only a couple clicks on a simple "Transfer My Pass" process.  Months before the festival, it had already started things off right.

What wasn't so great this year, however, was the scheduling, partly my fault but also a problem with the organization of the acts.  There was a bit of bunching of the bigger names towards the end of the festival, overlapping at the same time, which was problematic and caused me to miss out on two favourites, Hannibal Buress and Maria Bamford (there were midnight show options for each on Thursday and Friday nights, but not much of an option with work and kids.  As well, there didn't seem to be as many name acts this year as there were last year, and it was very close to the starting date when the last half of the 42 were revealed.  There were a lot more hosted events, which I guess is fine, but I didn't think to investigate them until deep into the festival.

So committed to the festival this year were we that I called in my mother to fly in to watch after the kids.  We only had four nights booked when we asked initially but we took advantage of the in-house babysitting and jumped on a couple of extra shows.  I matched my show attendance from last year (8 shows) but packed even more extracurriculars with my wife into the week.  Where she only saw three shows plus the headliner last year (Louis CK), she caught all the shows with me this year and it made for a far better festival experience.

Here's a few brief recaps of the shows:

Mark Little and Kyle Dooley (opener Todd Graham) - September 20, @The Comedy Bar, 7PM
I didn't know what to expect.  I love Picnicface, the sketch ensemble of which both are members, and Little is a great stand-up in his own right (saw him last year), so I had hopes they could deliver something entertaining.  And it was something, all right.

Todd Graham was an inspired choice for opening act.  He has a quiet, reserved delivery, with dry punchlines and methodical pacing led to a slow laugh build-up (often to the point of uncomfortably awkward), but ultimately quite funny.  Little and Dooley follow Graham on stage with a stark counterpoint, kicking over the mics, crunking to some hardcore hip-hop and screaming like they're wrestlers from the 1980's WWF.  The aggressiveness was disarming, like shocking your skin by jumping in the snow out of a sauna, bracing but it wakes you up.  They don't let up from there.

Little and Dooley construct a loose, free-flowing narrative about attending their high-school prom that takes dozens of diversions that seem improvised (and to a degree are) but are still an important part of the overall structure.  There's a third member to their team in the booth playing music queues and interfering with the proceedings causing Little and Dooley much hilarious consternation (as the unseen third man, he's brilliant and every gaffe or interruption led to comedy gold).

Little and Dooley's irreverent production was jam packed with so many clever elements and funny bits that my mind overloaded.  A section of the show found Little becoming so irate with the errors from the sound tech that he starts ranting, his rants at first repeated by Dooley, then Little starts speaking for Dooley (which Dooley also repeats) before stepping out into the crowd, doffing his shirt, taking glasses from various audience members and piling them all on one audience member as a "glasses totem".  It's hard to effectively describe, but certainly a memorable live experience.

The overall show was so amazing that my wife and I had every intention of returning for an additional viewing but scheduling conflicts interfered with that plan.  Definitely the right way to start off our festival, an easy highlight.  My biggest hope is that one of the performances was captured on video as there's so much in there I would like to witness again.  I wonder if much of it was the live setting (I'm quite sure of it) but I also believe that it would translate well to home viewing.

Jerrod Carmichael (opener Mark Forward) - September 20, @The Comedy Bar, 9PM
 I've heard him as a guest on Comedy Bang Bang a couple of times and heard a few short sets he's done.  Carmichael is a new-ish comic that's garnering a lot of attention, and the kid has some definite comedy chops as well as charm to spare. . What he doesn't have is a solid 45 minute set, and thus it felt more like a workshopping appearance and less a refined headliner.  His attempts to engage the crowd weren't received well.  He basically just asked two or three times if anyone wanted him to riff on anything, and the only reply he got was "Rob Ford" (eliciting major groans from the crowd), but once he learned he was the crack-smoking mayor, his eyes sparkled and he went off.  Carmichael can riff, I'll grant him that, but while full of promice, overall the set was a scattershot work in progress.

Opener Mark Forward was great.  Forwards a Canadian pro, with a solid roster of odd material (including an opening conceptual piece about monitoring his phone for news about his grandmother which had a great payoff).  I got the sense he could easily have pulled a headliner set.

Sam Simmons - September 23, @The Drake, 7PM
"In Australia, all comedy is like this".
What a delightfully odd place that must be.
Simmons I caught on a Jon Dore hosted Just For Laughs alternative program earlier this year.  I didn't catch his name at first but upon seeing a clip while looking for shows at the JFL42 site, I immediately recalled how much I enjoyed him.  His hybrid stand-up/prop comedy/performance piece ebbs and flows between self-effacing, self-aggrandizing, hyper-sexual, off-beat, way-off-beat, outright bizzare, conceptual, clever word play, silly word play, groan-inducing wordplay, audience interaction, odd-ience interaction, audience berating, conversations with himself (pre-recorded), and things with food.  Lots and lots of food.  It's a little more than an hour of weirdness pummeling the audience, with an 80-to-20 hit to miss ratio, and a lot of those misses Simmons can turn into hits with his self-effacing or audience-berating tactic ("Fuck you guys, that was brilliant").  Simmons has no shame, even when he's pretending to be ashamed.  There's running bits throughout the show, with the Old El Paso Taco Kit playing a major part right up until the epic taco-crushing finale.  A decidedly entertaining and unique experience.

Marc Maron (opener Andy Kindler) - September 24, @Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 7PM
I've been listening to Maron once or twice a week, almost every week for four years.  His podcast, WTF, has reached over 400 episodes now, and each episode he engages in a one-sided conversation about his life and what's going on.  Maron's not just a comedian to me, he's a friend, a dear friend, someone whom I care about, yet I've never met.  I had only heard him perform shorter sets, seeing them on youtube or Comedy Central programs, but it was only early in the year when I received all four of his stand up records that I ever heard him as a full act.  But listening to him over those four albums is to hear him evolve as a person, not just as a comedian, and a lot of the stories and jokes were familiar to me in one form or another as he reshapes them on the podcast in rants or conversations (often he retells them in a "I have a joke about that with X as the punch line" way).  It's great stuff, but at the same time, knowing Maron so intimately -- as all his regular What The Fuckers, What The Fuck Buddies, What The Fuckanadians etc do -- is to worry about him and hope his show goes well (he had just had a bomb set a week or two before his JFL42 appearance so that was fresh in my mind).

But Jesus, what I forgot is that Maron is a fucking professional comedian, a 30 veteran of the industry, and seeing him on stage is to see a master at work.  He is incredible.  Within seconds of him arriving on stage you could tell he was loose, poking fun at his opener and friend Andy Kindler (more on him at the end), and he was ready to get into it (he followed that up with a brutally funny physical impersonation of his friend and fellow comedian David Cross).  Maron is a professional talker.  He has bits and his bits are incredible.  He's managed to hone his bits into a form where they don't sound like bits, they sound like conversation, and so when he's not in his bits you can't really tell he's riffing.

This was the first time I've seen Maron perform an hour that's wholly fresh to me.  I was thinking that because of his podcast that I would have known all the jokes or knew where he was going but I was absolutely swept up by seeing someone so capable of working a crowd and engaging them both as friends and potential enemies.  I love Maron, so there's total bias in this write up, but he absolutely killed and I was just floating by the end of the show.  It was like I finally got to put a face and physicality to that disembodied voice that rings around my earholes so often (Maron's also taller and more handsome than I had pictured).

Now Andy Kindler, on the other hand... well, I was immediately soured when he was announced and took the stage as opener.  I don't like Kindler for all the reason's he seems so completely aware about why people don't like him.  He's opinionated but in a manner that makes him seem bitter and envious.  His act is free of jokes, save for some Vaudevillian one-liners he likes to toss around knowingly, otherwise he's just got this shtick of being a jaded bottom-rung Hollywood type and completely self-denegrating.  He gets his laughs from his sad-sack self-awareness (he acknowledged the warm crowd at length and discussed how this was his best show ever, despite the fact that it was only a lukewarm crowd), but it wears thin very quickly.  His anger and vitriol towards specific individuals or organizations or movies or programs in Hollywood seem to have no other viewpoint than "I don't like it because it's successful", leading to no jokes, just hate.  The best thing to come out of Kindler's set was the end...no not that tired joke, but Maron's poking fun at him.  For all the jokes Kindler makes at his own expense, within a minute of being on stage Maron topped those two or three times over.

John Mulaney (opener Sean Patton) - September 25, @Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 7PM
If there was one act I could not miss this year, John Mulaney would be it.  His "The Best Meal I Ever Had" is my all-time favourite stand-up routine for a few years running.  His two albums, The Top Part and New In Town are comedy classics, the product of an affirmed comedic voice, one that seems to be getting better with age.  Mulaney's an expert storyteller, a gifted wordsmith, and he has mind-mouth coordination like few others.  His bits waver from funny to stitch-ripping hilariousness.  He entered the stage expressing that the evening would include a lot of new material, but if that was actually true, none of it was evident (except at one point where he declared "That's staying in the act!").  It seemed as polished a routine as either album, and whether it's just the confidence he has on stage or just general quick wit, there was nary a lull in his hour-long set.

Mulaney closed the show with a sister piece to "The Best Meal I Ever Had", which was a story called "The Best Night I Ever Had", about the time he was 8-years-old and met Bill Clinton.  The story takes a few necessary diversions (as most of his stories do) but it all builds an incredible picture that puts you right into the scene with young John as your avatar.  There's a moment in the story where Mulaney notes that the fundraiser where he would meet Clinton was held at the same ballroom that you see at the end of the Fugitive.  He drops a few notes of description, pauses for a moment to gauge the audience, then proceeds with the story, only to backtrack and detail more descriptors, not of the ballroom, but of the scene from the Fugitive.  He then pauses, assess the audience, then proceeds with the story once more, only to stop, backtrack and go off on a very intricate, 2-minute, obsessively detailed description of the climax of the Fugitive.  It's an applause worthy feat that sets a peak for the Clinton story that doesn't let down.

I was unfamiliar with his opener Sean Patton, but his set was entertaining, and I like his style, which was enough for us to fill in our Thursday night 9:00 gap with his headline performance.  More on him shortly.

Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet - September 26, @The Dakota Tavern, 7PM
Okay, I know it's not a JFL42 show, but it could have been.  Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet were the house band for the Kids in the Hall, which makes them a part of comedy history and certainly helped in endearing them to me as one of my favourite bands of all time.  The Shadowy Men, a not-quite-surf-a-billy threesome disbanded in the early 90's and after the death of bassist Reid Diamond were destined to be a band for the history books.  With their first album Savvy Show Stoppers reissued on vinyl last year, Shadowy Men reformed with Sadies frontman Dallas Good (if you're going to replace someone named Reid Diamond, only someone named Dallas Good can fit the bill), who played with Diamond and drummer Don Pyle in their post-Shadowy effort Phono-Comb.  The reforming was a three show event which led to a few more smaller shows last year, and a surprise residency during September this year at the Dakota Tavern.

This was my third Shadowy Men show in two years and where the first time was a quasi-religious experience (so many emotions from my youth came flooding back, as well having one of my best friends from high-school and adulthood there with me who lives on another coast, experiencing this live performance we never thought would happen... it was miraculous), this third time matched the second in a smaller, far more intimate venue with a hundred other devotees of old, and a few new.
The Shadowy Men rip through their repertoire at breakneck speed, one song leading into another, into another, into another...six or seven in a row without a pause.  I love the music and know the songs intimately, (though, through the years the names of the tracks have begun to escape me).  It's like a warm audio hug, just utter pleasure listening to Brian's guitar sing and watching his hands move, seeing Don's sweat over his drums and dropping a few pithy comments at rare intervals when he speaks.  I noticed I haven't paid much attention to Dallas Good in the past (since Pyle is the voice of the band, and Connelly is the spotlight, the bassist is easy to overlook), but I made a point to focus on what's going on with the bass this time.  Knowing that Good is playing Diamond's original bass I have to wonder just how much that particular instrument is integral to the band's sound.  The bass is so prevalent in the songs but also so overshadowed by Connelly's amazing hands that one so often wants to attribute signature moments in the songs to Connelly's guitar.

They played two sets, Connelly blowing out his amp at the end of the first set, causing a delay for the second, and thus causing us to miss out on its latter half as we had another place to be.  Still, absolutely amazing, every time.  I've had Shadowy Men songs running through my brain ever since.  I love it and will never tire of it.

Sean Patton (opener ?) - September 26, @The Comedy Bar, 9PM

This was a blessing.  Patton's opening set for John Mulaney was good, but it didn't imply how great Patton was a headliner.  The undersized crowd at the comedy bar spoke volumes as to how criminally below the radar Patton is flying, but judging by his uproarious, often shocking, often dark, often jubilant set, he's slated to appear all over that radar very soon.  Patton kicked off his act by sermonizing the crowd, then launching into his deep impression of Christian comedy, which at once is painfully unfunny, and conceptually hilarious in execution.  Patton then launches forward into a masterclass on storytelling, interspersed with some straight up jokes and aces crowd work.  His storytelling, an exaggeration of his own life, is filled with dark spots but presented with an affirmative nature so that it never drags too deep so as to take it out of comedy (though it threatens a few times in his closing story about his 12-year-old naive indiscretions).  He wavers in and out of hinting at a southern Nawleans drawling accent, and on occasion plays fully into it as a character type.  He knows his material and can command a stage, he's got a refined voice and he's ready for the next level.  His subject matter may not be to everyone's taste, and he likes to fuck with the audience's trust just enough to perhaps be off-putting to some, but overall should definitely break him out.  It was a revelation, one of my new favourite comedians.

His opener (whose name I've forgotten, but probably for the best) was a bit of a mess on the other hand.  Her act was a shambles, with punchlines flying out without jokes and jokes without punchlines.  Often repeated was "I don't know what I'm saying" which may not be a bad catch phrase if she's able to say a lot of hilarious non-sequiturs in a manner that seems like she doesn't know what she's saying.  Unfortunately it came across as her not actually knowing what she's saying, far too often.  It was continually unfocused and unrefined, there was a lot of senseless cursing and at times unbridled anger that seemed to have no direction.  Somewhere in there is a voice that has a unique perspective but judging by this performance it's a ways away from being found.

Kyle Kinane (opener Rob Mailloux) - September 27, @The Mod Club, 7PM

If there was a highlight of the festival, it would be Kyle Kinane.  I've been a fan of Kinane since he appeared on the Nerdist's first Comedians You Should Know showcase (episode 51) and he's only gotten better.  His first album Death of the Party found a not-so-young-but-still-young Kinane presenting his unique dark hilarity in a refined state, but his second album, Whiskey Icarus revealed the genius that was hiding from that first album.  Like Mulaney's set this year, Kinane has a new hour that seems polished and ready to go to press, his voice so strong that he fills every moment with a nugget of brain joy uniquely his own.

Comedy can be about telling jokes, but the best comedians are storytellers, those that can take even the smallest moments, like throwing out a handful of change, and turning them into epic reveals about the human psyche and making them relatable, as well as spinning them so cleverly on their previously unknown axis that they build in how funny they are.  Kinane this hour bares his soul, yet somehow in the most reserved way possible.  He's crying out about how lonely and damaged he is while contrasting it by doubling over his audience in laugher.  Kinane has a gift of riffing, able to talk and hit upon particular words that even if you miss two-thirds of what he's saying it's still going to perpetuate your laughter.  He has a bit about gay porn which is funny, but only crescendos when he starts expounding upon a scenario he's never seen but would like to see.  Though it's unlikely I'm ever to hear "butt-to-butt" out of the context of this joke, if ever I do I'll likely collapse in giggle fits.  His "butt-to-butt" riff sustained for so long that I nearly threw up from laughing so hard.  It's a good thing I didn't eat dinner before I went.

Kinane, even moreso than Mulaney, has one of the most unique voices in comedy, strictly speaking timbre and tone here.  The only other comedian who can make me laugh so hard just by talking is Buress (still sad I missed him).  Kinane's set was a gift, a treasure trove of turns of phrases that are so odd, yet sharp that you want to swirl it in your ear, rattle it around your brain and slide it out on your tongue again and again.  You will want to develop your own Kinane impersonation because half of the hilarity is in the delivery.

Rob Mailloux was the dark and tortured opening act.  Steeped in material from his seemingly very painful personal life, Mailloux talks about being adopted and his own anorexia as well as about horrifying medical maladies.  He's able to inject enough humour to make them palatable but they're still too shocking and too bleak of subject matter (and obviously still all too relevant to Mailloux) to fully transcend in the same way Maron or Bamford deal with their demons on stage.  His act is really good in foundation but it's still too much of a gut punch to be considered enjoyable.

Aziz Ansari (opener Kyle Kinane) - September 27, @The Sony Center, 10PM

In 2005, whilst visiting New York City, I bought 3-disc comedy compilation called Invite Them Up, a weekly premiere alternative stand-up showcase presented by Eugene Mirman and Bobby Tisdale.  It was a concerted effort on my part to discover more comedy, having then-recently found David Cross and Mitch Hedburg and realizing I liked this stuff.  On that compilation the stand-out sets came from two sources, one Demitri Martin, the other Aziz Ansari.

In that set, Ansari talked about a senator who compared gay marriage to bestiality, particularly with box turtles, and postulated that this senator was really into turtles.  He also had a delicious rip on Kanye West whose music he loves, and whose personality he's fascinated with, and speaking Tamin in a brief encounter with M.I.A.  Ansari's dive into both pop-culture and political arenas was just what I was looking for and he became a fast favourite well before his major turn on Parks and Recreation and his subsequently awesome comedy albums.

This time around Ansari is laser focused, a singular topic in mind...that of, err, being single.  His new set is part comedy, part culture study, as he walks through all he's researched and learned and observed on single life, dating rituals as they compare to other countries and other eras.  It's evident that Ansari is growing up, and despite being a successful actor and comedian he's still trying to figure out some aspect of life.  It was surprising to witness a whole act without a single story about Kanye, but also kind of refreshing to watch him interplay with the audience and build upon that freewheeling in his act.  It was a strangely intellectual yet no less enjoyable.

What I learned though was that a multi-thousand seat theatre, like the Sony Center, isn't the best way to view comedy.  Particularly after coming off of seeing Kinane in a few hundred seat room, it was interesting to see him repeat much of the same material in a much bigger room, on a much grander scale.  The comedy doesn't play as well, though still amazing, and I've figured out that, at least for me, it's the space.  The laughter doesn't fill the space of a big theatre like it does in a smaller setting, the laughter needn't drown out the comedian, but they should have to fight to keep pulling you back in.  For stand-up, the Queen Elizabeth Theatre is probably the largest venue that can house it without destroying the sense of intimacy.  Ansari has gotten used to working crowds the size of the Sony Center and has built an act that's meant for such a space.  At the same time, it doesn't have nearly the same impact as Kinane's Mod Club set or Mulaney or Maron's Queen Elizabeth Theatre set.

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For JFL42 next year, some recommendations:
- Doug Benson for the whole week, doing stand-up, doing Doug Loves Movies, and doing Benson Movie Interruptions.  I would go to every single one.
- Deborah DiGiovanni I haven't seen do stand-up in some time, and I miss her.
- Kristen Schall and Kurt Braunohler
- Ron Funches
- Jonah Ray
- Kumail Nanjiani
- Headliner suggestions: Flight of the Conchords, Tenacious D, David Cross, Mindy Kaling, Joan Rivers (seriously)

...I've got more (I'll add them for posterity later).