2024, Shawn Levy (Free Guy) -- Cinema
Also, I know why I only liked this one, and not loved it like the other two -- it was Shawn Levy. This movie is more a vehicle for Ryan Reynolds indulgences than either of the two before. Look at his two previous Ryan Reynolds movies, Free Guy and The Adam Project; one was a lot of fun but I have never felt the need to rewatch, and the other was ... ______ (????)
Sorry, I just don't remember what snarky, quippy or actually plot-based reason I chose to put that underscore into the latter write-up.
Also, speaking of indulgences, Levy also did the inestimable Real Steel.
Also, I should begin with Kent's exhaustian.
So, when we last left our "hero" he was using his time watch to wander around the timelines/multiverse to set some things right, basically make his own life better. That was the last movie. But when we pick up in this movie we are not in the exact same universe. This one is kind of sucky. Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds, IF) has lost his way, broken up with Vanessa (Morena Baccarin, Gotham; like really, WTF dudes) and has saved Shatterstar (Lewis Tan, Mortal Combat; like REALLY, WTF !?!). They are now besties. Suckier Deadpool has a pity dick in his mouth after having tried to do as Vanessa asked, and Do More, and... failed? He even auditioned to be in The Avengers, which didn't go well. But I am still not sure why he didn't keep on trying.
But diiiiiid he really try out for the Avengers? I mean they even label that scene as Earth 616 which is the MCUniverse. Deadpool has never had his universe labelled, but when he is rejected by Happy, he returns to a universe with a different label. So, I consider that scene a toss away for fun scene, representing another Deadpool being rejected, not our one. But then again, as I said above, this is probably not even our Deadpool but a suckier one. That's the multiverse for ya.
And that's when the TVA shows up, like literally during his birthday party, to tell him he sucks that his universe is fading away because it lost its Anchor Being. And that Anchor Being was Logan, the Wolverine who died in the movie called Logan. So, Deadpool steals one of those cool TVA (remember, pronounced Teh-Veh-Ahh) mobile phones and hops through a glowy door to dig up said mentioned Wolverine. He doesn't believe he could be dead as they both have unlimited regeneration, right?
Also, another confirmation This Is Not Our Deadpool -- the movie "Logan" takes place In The Future (2029) after all the X-Men when kaflooey and Wolverine has discovered the adamantium is poisoning his blood letting him finally age. We will also ignore that our Deadpool has a musical box piece of merchandise from "Logan" implying it is a movie in his universe.
Yeah, Wolvie is definitely dead. But the TVA still shows to take out Deadpool, and we get our "classic" Deadpool movie combat scene, and opening credits, to the sounds of a boy band. And apparently the antics of Dancepool, some pseudo-celebrity-influencer who dresses like Deadpool and .... dances. I am not sure I am on board with a dozen or more TVA agents being murdered so horrifically, as we have not yet determined they are Bad Guys yet, just playing a part in alignment on how the universe works. Also, Deadpool doesn't care if they are Bad Guys so I should remember he is a sociopath.
Anywayz, he survives and decides to again travel the multiverse in search of a Wolverine he can steal as a replacement Anchor Being for his universe. Insert Montage Scene of alternate Wolverines from around pop culture. My favourite is Patch. He ends up finding Sad Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, Chappie), one from a world not unlike the original scene from the X-Men movie (surly Wolverine just wanting to drink) but probably more emotionally connected to the cameo scene in X-Men: First Class. Anywayz, this is the one he goes with.
Exceeeept Bad Guy Mr. Paradox (Matthew Macfadyen, Pride & Prejudice) explains you can't just replace an Anchor Being with another person from another timeline. That's not how things work. No matter, they get zapped by the not-disintegrating TVA wands and sent to The Void. Cue a bunch of scenes of Wolverine and Deadpool fighting each other because .... well, just because.
The Void is that extra-dimensional space outside the timelines and multiverse where "pruned" timelines are sent. That timelines are still being pruned by someone makes me wonder if there are alternates TVAs for alternate universes because multiverse continuity is meant to give you headaches. I mean, if the blobs of paint universe as shown in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness makes use of the TVA from the TV show Loki, wouldn't they all be confused? I mean, when you are talking about infinity, infinite versions of infinite things means the potential for LOTS of cross-overs that just never happen. Anywayz, lets assume this is The Void for this Deadpool's infinity of pruned timelines, which includes the Fox Universe laid waste.
In a way, this movie is meant as the death knell for the Fox Universe? Was there ever any official tie-in between the "Fantastic Four" movies and the "X-Men" movies?
So, yeah The Void, ruled over by Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin, Murder at the End of the World) from her Thunderdome-ish base inside the dead corpse of Giant Man. In The Void there are two types of people: those that work for her, and those she feeds to The Purple Smoke Monster (which in my head canon is related to cloud monster Galactus, cloud monster Parallax, and possibly the smaller cloud monster from Lost). There are not many "rebels" left to fight against Cassandra.
After the fight, after the confrontation with Cassandra, after the escape from Cassandra, the pair meets NicePool, the most annoying of the Deadpools and his disgusting dog DogPool (sorry, just not into the 'ugly is cute' thing). They are directed where to find the rebels, but instead fight again, inside a compact car. Again, just because (cue Kent's exhaustion). But at least we get to meet Blade (Wesley Snipes, Blade), Electra (Jennifer Garner, Elektra), X-23 (Dafne Keen, The Acolyte) and Gambit (Channing Tatum, GI Joe: Retaliation). Apparently one of the Punishers was also there. I really hope it was the Dolph Lundgren one.
You are being a bit facetious -- they always do provide the minimum plot required in order for Wolvy and Deadie to jab each other's naughty bits with weaponry.
So, yeah after a bit of soul searching, they all agree to attack Cassandra's lair. Her army is made up of a small handful of B and C grade villains but mostly just Mad Max castoffs with guns. You would think that many guns fired into a barrel would take out all but X-23 rather quickly, but its a superhero movie. Meanwhile, Wolvy and Deadie are attacking Cassandra so they can place Fox Juggernaut's helmet on her head, which will turn her to the OFF position. It works but they retract that statement so she can send them back to the TVA, to undo everything that Mr. Paradox has been trying to accomplish, leaving her to her Void playground.
The movie ends with Deadpool and Wolverine sacrificing themselves to destroy Mr. Paradox's ultimate nullifier type machine. There is a another "let's fucking go" battle scene, but this time against a bunch of other variant Deadpools, buuut .... well, I am tired already now. Sure, its fun, sure its hilarious seeing all those variant mercs doing Cassandra's dirty Deadpool work for her, but I guess I am also exhausted by now.
Peter's balls !! Peter's balls !!
So, its a romp. Its a hoot. Maybe I need another viewing to determine if I will add this to The Shelf? I do think once I have divested myself of my nitpicking over continuity, something I should even be considering during this franchise, I will be .... more entertained?
In the end, I still prefer Ryan Reynolds being LESS indulged, and less pandered to, as much as I don't think The Fans should be pandered to. As a concept, this one was almost in the works as long as Ryan Reynolds original desire to be The Merc with the Mouth. And as a nod to the X-Men movies that spawned the idea of Hugh Jackman as the on-screen icon, it was brilliant. But do we really need #snyderverse versions of these characters?
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