31 Days of Halloween: There's Someone Inside Your House

 2021, Patrick Brice (Creep) -- Netflix

Waitasec. I just noticed that the title, drawing upon that classic horror movie / campfire tale trope of the killer calling you from inside your own house, is not even really used in this movie. Oh sure, there is the briefest moment of the killer being inside their homes, but in house based slasher movies, the killer is ALWAYS inside the house. This movie is not about the trope, even in the slightest. Which defeats the point of the title. Whatever.

And again, waitasec, this incredibly bland, pablum flavoured YA teen slasher movie was done by the same guy who did the creep-tastic Creep? Oh man, how the mighty fall when presented with a budget and a fucking douche in a purple suit.

We chose this light fare, because I got home late from work, fast food in tow, in no mood to look up from my greasy fried chicken to read sub-titles nor sit through anything two-plus hours. I was needlessly annoyed at everything, hopped up on energy drinks and work frustration. So, we settled on something perfect for the season but not requiring much mental energy.

If I was 17 with no discernible taste in movies, I would have probably really enjoyed this. Alas...

Small mid-western town is beset with a killer who 3D prints masks of their victims, victims chosen for their secrets, secrets initially dire (one gay-bashed a football teammate, one was a thinly-closeted white supremacist) but eventually just ... anything hidden. Our cadre of odd ducks, including a token black kid (as opposed to our mixed-race main character), token non-binary kid, and rich kid. Rich kid? Rich kid's dad is hated in the town, so he ends up with the odd ducks.

If anything redeems this incredibly boring, formulaic teen slasher movie, it is the performance of the main character Makani Young (Sydney Park, The Walking Dead). Makani has her own secrets, one deep & dark, and one just typical teen. Of course they put her on the killer's radar. But Park's depiction of strength and pathos is welcome amid the cookie cutter kids everywhere else. 

But the 3D masks were downright creepy.