Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

2017, Luc Besson (La Femme Nikita) -- cinema

For months before the movie, a coworker who guesses at my pop culture enjoyments, kept on asking me about the movie and sending me the latest trailers and clips. I often responded with squee-s. He guessed this was my kind of movie, a big flashy space opera full of aliens, spectacle and over the top heroics. He was right. Of any movie of the summer, this was my only real blockbuster.

Valerian is based on a big french comic book. No, I haven't read it, beyond a few intro pages via a website. It makes me regret not having mastered basic french reading so I could have bought those big, hard cover books from that little store on the Plateau when I lived in Montreal. The Big Science Fiction of the European variety always attracted me, and not just the rampant nudity (though to my younger self, that helped) but more the scale. The worlds, that I know best from artist & creator Moebius, were so much larger and grander than anything America created. You can easily see how Lucas was inspired by these stories, in his bid to create Star Wars. Beyond the direct lifting of many elements, you can see how he came to the big, robust galaxy for his own world, by way of this comic.

By way of the opening credits, we see how this far future was established by Earth and its diplomats. As alien, after alien visits Earth, the various (and unified) nations welcome them into orbit. As hundreds of years are depicted, visit after visit, one cannot help but notice that very few of the welcoming dignitaries, diplomats or leaders are women. Again, the future is white and male. Le sigh. But all these visiting aliens lead to the establishment of Alpha, the City of a Thousand Planets, which pushes itself out into deep space to allow mother Earth some gravity peace.

We are introduced to young & beautiful Valerian (Dane DeHaan; Chronicle) and Laureline (Cara Delevinge; Suicide Squad) agents of the human based government that protects and runs Alpha. So, to get it out of the way, the miscasting of these two is a weight the movie can almost not carry. To say that Delevinge is the better actor of the two already says a lot, but whoever thought DeHaan with his perma-adolescent appearance and reptilian visage could be the Han Solo / Buck Rogers / Flash Gordon analog is laughable. I was never once convinced he was capable or as appealing to others, as they (he himself?) continually say he is. Alas, who cares -- the movie works without them.

The two are tasked by the government to bodyguard Commander Arun Flitt (Clive Owen) during a summit convened to discuss a danger that lies at the heart of Alpha. Aliens attack, kidnap the Commander and the two make chase. That's the core plot of the movie, rather uncomplicated and direct. The plot as to why there was a kidnapping is familiar, but leads to some later thoughts.

In classic Besson style, the movie is more about the dressed up setting, than the simple, direct plot. From the intro (to Valerian & Laureline; there are a couple of intros in this movie) we are shown a magical, scifi world of virtual market places and countless aliens. From the intro where we are shown a full CGI alien paradise that is destroyed by crashing space ships, we get some utterly stunning world building background. And via the run through the various alien environs that make up Alpha, Besson gives us more aliens than the Mos Eisley cantina. I loved every moment of every background. But the movie kept on interrupting it by having the two stars interact.

Seriously; about half way through the movie we are supposed to believe charming rogue Valerian is now in love with his subordinate agent Laureline -- rich, independent and utterly oblivious to Valerian's charms. But of course, then she begins to fall for him. Is it unbelievable because she is a bad actor or because he is so utterly unconvincing as a love interest? I don't know.

**Spoilers**

The climax of the movie reveals that Commander Flitt was the leader of the human (Alpha) forces that allowed the planet we saw in one of the intros be destroyed. Only a few of these Avatar style space elves escaped to become the kidnappers. There has to be something being said in that a space faring government, originating from Earth and claiming its own centricity in the universe, begins by wholly excluding women from its ranks, and continues by utterly ignoring an entire planet of intelligent beings, to win a war... or even just a battle.

I am not sure I truly believe Besson plotted the movie that way, but I like to ponder it, as Kent knows I often do with movies. It might even explain why the utter vacuous Valerian is so high a rank, and his Sergeant seems to be just a pretty girl from a well place family. Perhaps his own commentary on how casting has to be done in Hollywood, where the young, white elite still rule to this day? Nah? Well its worth hoping for...

Also, two performances of note. Rihanna plays a doppelganger sex slave Bubble which is one of the most enjoyable sequences. Valerian rescues her from brothel owner Jolly (Ethan Hawke) partially because he doesn't like the life she has led since being sold to Jolly and partially because he can use her to rescue Laureline. Again, something to be said about the less than heroic nature of our leading man. And Hawke himself as Jolly is hillarious Besson standard. Like Gary Oldman in Leon or Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element, this is an over the top character, so much fun to watch, as annoying as he is.

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